Rewards and Punishments for your Chosen Style

Education really can change the way you think about the world. It's really amazing the way taking one class, introductory psychology, 15 years ago could have changed the way I think about human behaviour so much! In that class I first learned about behaviourism and operant conditioning--the idea that people will do and continue to do things that will bring them rewards or avoid and stop doing things that bring them punishments. People do this and so do animals. So basically when people say they do something just because they "like it"  I don't really take that seriously. Instead I just accept that they are getting some reward for that behaviour so they keep on doing it. The reward could be external (e.g., attention from others, money, praise, etc.), or internal (e.g., it feels good to their senses, makes them feel happy, calms them etc.). Sometimes people don't even realize that they are getting rewards or that they stopped doing other things because they were receiving punishments (e.g., frustration, lack of attention, boredom etc.).

In my writing I often talk about doing what's right for you in your given situation (because what is rewarded or punished varies by situation) and doing things that are beneficial (rewarding) and not harmful for you (punishing). This fits with my last few posts because defense mechanisms (previous post), understanding the pro-woman line (previous post), and acting feminine in order to be treated better (previous post) all make sense under operant conditioning. There is no labeling women as strong or weak, smart or dumb, leaders or followers, independent or brainwashed, basically no judgements about the validity, righteousness, or intelligence of their ideas and choices. As long as what they are doing brings rewards and avoids punishments their behaviour makes sense. The person is not attacked (no ad hominem attacks). BUT what one can argue is about is whether a person is behaving in a way that will get the BEST, most FREQUENT, and most LIKELY rewards from PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY MATTER (e.g., have power to make their lives better). Their choice of behaviour can be criticized on these grounds because their actions may be against their long-term best interests. I think this may best be explained with the examples below.

Example 1) A young woman dresses like a male gangster because she feels afraid of her neighborhood and sad and angry about her life. She says she does it because she likes it, it is her way of expressing herself, and a lot of people do it:
 Rewards (pros)
-she feels powerful and invincible when others fear her
-safe, protected, and accepted when in a group of friends dressed the same way
-pride and confidence when others admire her style and dress in the same way (because others think she's cool)
-comfortable because the clothes are loose and warm
-safe and protected when she passes men on the street who ignore instead of harass her

Punishments (cons)
- she feels anger and fear when police follow her around and harass her because she looks like a criminal
-disappointment and hopeless when she is turned down for jobs
-frustration, disappointment, and hopelessness when teachers have low expectations from her, fail to encourage her, and punish her more harshly than others
-sadness, loneliness, anger, and rejection when family and past friends criticize her appearance and behaviour and abandon her
-sadness and loneliness when people stare, avoid, or negatively stereotype her
-fear and anger when other people challenge her and act aggressively
-feels inadequate and unattractive when men don't pay attention to her

For some women the enjoyment of the rewards will outweigh the punishments and they will not change. Basically for the woman who dresses gangster, feeling safe, protected, and powerful outweighs the unpleasantness of being avoided and thought of as a trouble maker. However for others the punishments will be too much and they will abandon their gangster style. For other women the fear of the punishments will prevent them from ever attempting to dress like a gangster. In a safe environment this behaviour would be against a woman's best interests because it would unnecessarily get her in trouble with parents, some friends, teachers, strangers, and the police.

Saana Lathan, Gabrielle Union, and Nia Long, I just call them
EBW Gold! They are just gorgeous!!!

Example 2) A young woman dresses like a girly-girl because she wants to be liked by other women and men and does not currently feel liked or attractive. She says she does it because she likes it, it's her way of expressing herself, and a lot of others do it.
Rewards (pros)
-she feels powerful because she can get others to treat her well and do things for her
-cared for and adored because people treat her like she is delicate and precious
-pride and confidence because other women admire and compliment her
-attractive and desirable because men notice her and ask her out
-pride and confidence because she looks a lot like the women who are held up as ideal by society

Punishments (cons; so I did finally come up with some drawbacks to being ultra-feminine)
- she feels disappointment, frustration, and sadness when some people assume she is weak, unintelligent, or brainwashed or another negative stereotype because she dresses in a traditional manner (e.g., whitewashed)
-sadness, disappointment, loneliness when other women criticize, insult, and ridicule her out of jealousy
-hopelessness and frustration trying to maintain her appearance and live up to beauty and fashion standards
-discomfort from wearing certain things (e.g., nylons, high heels, uncomfortable garments etc.).
-annoyance and discomfort from the unwanted attention of some men

Once again for some women the enjoyment of the rewards will outweigh the punishments and they will not change. For someone who takes this route the attention, approval, and favoritism outweighs the cattiness from other women and the hassle of maintaining their appearance. For these women (like myself) the appeal of the rewards outweighs the punishments because the people most important to me will be supportive. For other women the fear of the punishments will prevent them from ever attempting to dress like a girly girl. It could be the case that this behaviour could get a woman in trouble in a dangerous environment where it is better to go unnoticed or where jealous women have the power to make her life miserable.

Remember when Being Feminine and Girly was a Black Thing?

When exactly did Black women start embracing the "strong, hard, independent Black woman" instead of the "feminine, delicate, elegant Black woman"? I know that during slavery Black women could not afford the same clothing as White women and they had to do hard labor, so let's just focus on after slavery. During those times there were surely poor Black women and those who were "better off" in their communities. Again let's focus on the women who were "better off" and could actually afford to choose their clothing (even if it was of lesser quality than the clothing White women could afford). Many of these women may have actually sewn their own clothes but they would have had to purchase the fabric. These women dressed very similar to White women at the time. I don't know for sure, but they may have added their own unique flare to the styles, but they were very feminine, elegant, and beautiful. I do also notice that they attempted to style their hair like White women which is unfortunate, but they probably needed to in order to work and fit in at the time.

So there was a time when Black women and White women followed the same fashion trends and dressed in a similar manner! When did this stop? Was it in the 60s when Black women started wearing afros? During the 60s and the civil rights and feminist movements Black and White women wore pants more often and embraced the sloppy hippie look. Both looks could be feminine or masculine at times. Was it the 70s? I think the Black disco queens were quite feminine. I don't think it was most of the 80s either because there were many Black female celebrities (e.g., the Pointer Sisters) who dressed in a feminine manner that was quite similar to the style of White celebrities.

There have always been subcultures who had their unique styles but I'm talking about mainstream fashion that was worn by the masses and then promoted by fashion designers and brands. Often times a musician would have a style, fans would copy the style and attitude of the musician, and eventually the mainstream would embrace the music, style, and attitude (or an actress would star in a big movie and fans would copy her style seen in the movie and in public). I think that the point where Black women embraced hard, edgy, defiant, masculine styles and mannerisms was the 1990s (because they liked them, not because they had to)! Prior to the 90s there was not much of a difference between Black and White female fashions, at least one did not seem more masculine than the other.  The 90s saw hip hop culture become mainstream and "urban fashion" was born. Urban female fashion was hard, edgy, overly sexy, or a female version of MEN'S fashion (in fact, when I was a girl I just wore my brother's old clothes). The sexy part was similar to White women's fashion but the hard, masculine part was unique to urban fashion (well actually White women had punk fashion that was hard and masculine but all White women were never pressured to dress punk. White people had many other styles that they chose from so they did not limit themselves to one style). By the 90s many Black women had also accepted feminism and along with that many rejected anything that was traditionally feminine (e.g., learning how to cook, sew, knit, and act like a lady etc.).

Celebrities who embraced urban fashion included Mary J. Blige, TLC, Queen Latifah, MC Lyte, Salt & Pepa, Aalyiah, Brandy, Monica, SWV, Xscape, and many others. When you think of these women, when they were most popular they tended to wear over-sized clothing that often looked like men's clothes and in their videos they rarely smiled and often looked unhappy. These were the women that Black women everywhere emulated! Some celebrities like En Vogue dressed in a feminine manner but they also had a hard edge sometimes. Fortunately, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey appeared "nice" in their videos as did some other pop and R & B singers (both women were accused of acting "too White"). This was the time when hardness and attitude crept into the professional personas of Black musicians and it was rare to see a Black musician who appeared sweet, soft, or down to earth without a chip on her shoulder. This was also echoed on television shows where elegant women like Claire Huxtable were replaced with loud, obnoxious caricatures like Gina on the Martin show, and numerous characters on In Living Color and Saturday Night Live (remember Ellen Cleghorn and her character threatening to cut everyone?).

Some may argue that the world always thought that Black women were unfeminine compared to other women and the change in fashion would not have made a difference. I just don't believe that! I think that if Black women had continued to choose mainstream fashions (and attitudes) instead of urban fashion then we would look no different from White or Asian women and perhaps today we would be regarded in the same manner. Look at how people react to Michelle Obama. Some still hold racist views and claim that she is angry and militant but sensible people can see she is very feminine, a caring mother, and a devoted wife, and that she dresses the same way they do (or the way they aspire to dress). Many Black women CHOSE to appear different and rejected anything that was overly feminine by calling it "White" and embraced masculine, oversized clothing as being "Black". We also did the same thing by calling good manners, speaking softly, becoming educated, reading etc. "acting White" even though these things were once cherished in the Black community! Instead we chose to follow the uneducated, criminal rappers and their hard, defiant, hyper-masculine attitudes. We followed these men in an attempt to "keep it real" and show our loyalty when we would have been better off following the fashion aimed at women in general! Part of this may have been an angry rejection of anything associated with White culture but I don't think it has helped us and it has only marginalized us further. It didn't work so what's the point holding on to it (the same goes for Black men acting hard because it has backfired)? Black women today need to realize that Black women were not always hard! Even in the face of blatant racism during Jim Crowe many women still carried themselves with more dignity and appeared more feminine and gentle than women today! I really think it's time that we went back to the old ways and rejected urban fashion/attitudes/mannerisms in favor of feminine, mainstream women's fashion/attitudes/mannerisms. That's exactly what I am doing!

Fantastic links to Vintage Black Women (you must visit these links and be amazed by the way Black women were once portrayed!):
Vintage Black women on Flickr
Vintage Black glamour on Tumblr
Vintage Black2 on Tumblr
16 Stone Vintage (great blog WOW!)

Contradictions and Dangerous Messages

Things have become so twisted! Things that were once considered "common sense, "normal", and "reasonable" are regarded as abnormal and totally untrue by many Western people. I think that if you want to save yourself, succeed, and live a great life you need to limit your interactions to people who have the same viewpoints and only listen to advice from people who are actually successful and leading great lives. We need to only listen to the advice of successful and happy people who have achieved what we want or value the things we want to achieve.

Anyone else is a confusing distraction that may derail your common sense and stop you from protecting yourself. I don't think the people who make the suspect/hypocritical comments are malicious or stupid. I just think that when you are swimming in the mess it is too stressful and emotional to see the easier way out. Sticking to self-defeating and hypocritical beliefs is a defense mechanism to protect their self-esteem. Some of them will eventually figure out how to get out of their own way but unfortunately many will not. Please take the time to think about the major choices you make in your life, the reasons why you made the choice (they may be unconscious and impossible to know unfortunately), the benefits, and the drawbacks. Only after thorough introspection can you decide to change or stay the same. Whatever you decide, you are responsible for your choice and must live with the positive or negative consequences. You have choices!

We can choose to be whatever women we want to be and I thank Feminism for that. There is no lifestyle or fashion choice that does not  make a statement or trigger stereotypes in other people and this is largely beyond their control. Whatever choice you make there will be consequences that may be unpleasant and unfair. Your desire to be free of judgement/harm is not a protective bubble that can shield you from that judgment/harm. Choose wisely and put your safety above your need to not offend others because you are ultimately the only one responsible for your own safety. Failing to protect yourself will end up hurting you more than anyone else. Focus on the things you can actually control and you can control many things in your life.

If the following public statements below are said in Western countries (especially in the Black community) the speaker may be called a stupid idiot who can not think for themselves, a mindless tool of patriarchy, or a white-washed sell-out when to me they are just normal things or common sense:

A. "I only wear dresses."  -said by woman in vintage dress, found in a tiny thrift store, that no one else in the room is wearing.
"Why are you such a mindless follower? A woman can wear anything she wants now!" -said by woman in jeans and T-shirt, bought at WalMart, dressed like everyone else in the room.

B. "I really want to get married."
"There is no reason to get married it's 2012!" -Note that wanting to get married and getting married has been THE NORM all over the world for hundreds of years yet it is dismissed as useless. People have been doing something for hundreds of years for no good reason and it has never benefited anyone?

C. "I really want to have children."
"Women were not put on this earth to be baby factories!" -The only way to continue the human race is to produce children, it is the only way to pass on your genes, and women are the only people capable of giving birth. You can opt out but someone has to do it. Should your mother have opted out?

D. "Education is very important to me and there are many benefits of an education." - said by woman with Master's degree who's parents both have degrees.
"Institutionalized education is useless. Street knowledge is more important. Your education means nothing to me and anyone who wastes time with that is stupid" -said by man with no university education, who's parents never went to university, asking the woman for a date. Why are you judging the value of something you have NO EXPERIENCE with? Why would she want someone who thinks she's stupid and doesn't have the same values?

E. "I like doing things to please my man and he really appreciates it." -said by woman in happy relationship.
"You shouldn't have to do anything to please anyone else! Just be yourself!" - said by woman who's last boyfriend dumped her because she had a bad attitude, constantly started arguments, and said she did not need him." Why exactly would someone be with you when the experience is miserable instead of pleasurable?

F. "I want to lose some weight so that I can be more attractive, become healthier, and live a long life." -said by woman who is 20 pounds overweight according to medical standards.

"You can be fit and fat. Big can be beautiful so you shouldn't do anything!" -sadly said by obese woman, struggling with high blood pressure, pre-diabetes, difficulty walking, and low self-esteem.

G. "I refuse to listen to hip hop music because it degrades Black men and women and spreads negative stereotypes about us." -said by man in business suit listening to Maxwell (neo soul).

"You are a sell-out! You hate Black people! You are a tool of the racist White man!" -says man blaring music lyrics calling women "h***", men "n******", bragging about the respect one gets for being a "gangsta" (i.e., criminal), produced by Sony (White owned company). Listening to and buying hip hop and dressing like a "gangsta" is a great way to help Black people and reduce stereotyping? I guess we should forget about showing the world we are intelligent, educated, law-abiding, moral, respectable, friendly, easy to get along with and JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE? Silly me, I forgot that we aren't supposed to do anything that would please anyone else even if these qualities are considered NORMAL, DESIRABLE to society, and BENEFICIAL to those possessing these qualities.

H. "You just have to ignore the negativity, focus on achieving your success goals using the resources that are available to you, and protect yourself from harm the best you can." -said by man with successful, self-started business that used his earnings to move to a crime-free neighborhood.

"There is nothing an individual can do. The world is against us. We need to pressure other people to sacrifice their own well-being to save us because it is their fault we are here. We can not save or protect ourselves so we should not even try to." -sadly said by Black and Feminist activists demanding empowerment. What if everyone refuses to save or protect us? What should we do then?

Is it Wrong that I Only Want to Listen to Cheesy Love Songs?

I think this has to be the last post I make for a week because I am procrastinating on doing something for school. But who am I kidding, in between studying I know I'll have ideas I'll want to blog! Blogging can be so obsessive!

When I was growing up I listened to the same pop music radio station that most of my friends did. It played 90s and some 70s and 80s rock (including soft rock and classic rock), pop, R&B (including Mowtown oldies), and a little bit of rap. The artists played included Madonna, Janet Jackson, Glass Tiger, The Beatles, MC Hammer, Prince, George Michael, Eurasure, U2, En Vogue etc. Everyone knew these songs and the music was not offensive compared to pop music today. At the time it seemed like there were fewer types of music and it was easier to distinguish between rock, heavy metal, rap, pop, country, classical, R&B, jazz, and blues and of course international styles like calypso and reggae.

The type of music that moved me the most was the pop ballad and that is my favorite type of music today! I am "coming out" and admitting that my favorite type of music is any cheesy song where a guy sings about love in a very high voice! I love ballads from the Bee Gees, Maroon 5, REO Speedwagon, U2, Stevie Wonder and MANY one-hit-wonders. I also listened to my father's Love Collection records (yes the one's sold in infomercials) and I loved them! When I hear these songs I get an instant physical feeling of love for the singers (the same way I feel when I see and hear cats lol)! It's an 'I want to scream' and 'I love this/you so much I want to die' feeling that you can see in footage of Beatles or Justin Bieber fans. My theory is that the high pitched voices of male pop singers and cats activate the pleasure centres of my brain lol!!! Hmmm, maybe that's why I prefer guys with younger, higher sounding voices? Yes, it's very quirky and I do love to sing along while making typical performance hand gestures! I readily admitted this as a high school student and undergrad but since then I have felt uncomfortable doing so.

I went to graduate school in a small city and I did not like any of the radio stations (they played too much country that I absolutely can not tolerate and constant Nickleback!). I also did not like many of the songs played on Much Music because they were getting too "screamy" and sounded computer generated (Autotune is horrible). So for the next several years I was not paying attention to new music at all and I mostly heard new music through movies, television, or by chance. Now I feel some imaginary pressure to listen to new music so that I can actually state what type of music I like and open my mind to new things or something. I  keep reading dating profiles where men state "I like many types of music" and it makes me feel like I'm closed off or immature because I rarely like new music and there are many types I don't like. I feel (and have been made to feel) guilty for not liking country music, most things with fiddles (e.g., Celtic music), some alternative (ewww grunge music), jazz, reggae, and calypso. There are many types of music that are great in television and movies for setting the mood (e.g., heavy metal in horror films, classical, jazz etc.) but I don't find pleasure listening to them outside of these mediums. It's like I worry something is wrong with me because I am not moved by more types of music.

When I started looking into new styles of music I tried some so-called "conscious hip hop" (that was actually full of curse words and the n-word), R&B, and neo-soul. I felt so much pressure to choose my favorite music based on race instead of what I found pleasurable!  I felt as though I would be a "sell-out" if I ignored these forms of music and limited myself to genres predominated by White people! There may be some other racial minorities who feel pressure to like their cultural music too but others will just like what they like and never feel guilty. I think that unlike other groups, there is a lot of pressure for Black people to listen to and support rap/hip hop despite it's rampant degradation of women, degradation of Black people (by using the n-word) and making Black men look like materialistic thugs, morally bankrupt artists, and it's references to lifestyles that are foreign to many middle class people (e.g., living in the hood, shootings, drugs, and gangs). But I think that now I am finally secure about my rejection of rap/hip hop music! I think it's safer to avoid the genre and negative messages instead of "giving it a chance" just because a few songs may be innocuous.

I am going to listen to internet radio more often so that I can hear my old favorites and new pop music. I tried listening to some emo, indie rock, soul, and R&B but they did not move me emotionally. I will try them again but probably if they are not played on pop stations I won't seek them out. I feel as though I am not supposed to like the same music I did when I was younger and I'm supposed to like more "adult" types of music that is serious and edgy instead of love songs sung by cute guys. This reminds me of the pressure women feel to abandon pleasurable things, being playful, and acting girly after a certain age (as I wrote about in my post I'd Love to be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl). People feel pressure to trade in everything from childhood for things that are serious and mature (maybe because of that Bible verse about putting away childish things but I'm not even religious). How necessary is it for adults to become aware of depressing/controversial things for the sake of education even though they are powerless to change anything? I think there has to be a balance between entertainment being purely for pleasure and entertainment that is also educational and thought provoking. There seems to be a lot of pressure focus on the latter. I prefer songs that are about love (being in, finding, or losing it) mostly sung by men with high voices. It doesn't teach me about other cultures or the plight of oppressed people. I like 80s and 90s pop and any modern music that sounds similar. The last two CDs I bought were James Blunt and Gavin DeGraw. It just makes me happy. Isn't that enough?

Western Fashions I Really Dislike

I mentioned in an earlier post that I am no longer impressed with Western fashion and I prefer Asian fashion. I'm just basing this off what I see people wearing around me and on television, or the most popular Asian styles I see online. Below I will show popular Western fashions that I think prevent us from looking our most feminine best. I admit I have some items from the styles below but I want to get rid of them. A woman still look cute and feminine in some of these things if she chooses a feminine colour, body fitting size, or something that is atypically feminine (e.g., a pink hoodie with hearts on it). Some of these items can still work if they are paired with other very feminine items.

1. The overly casual look: I rarely wear jeans anymore because they just make you look so casual. I don't like baggy or boy-cut styles, and low-rise jeans need to be retired. This look includes wearing sweats, pajama bottoms, leggings, slippers, and just sloppy outfits that you probably should not be wearing in public. People with this style look like they just threw something on and this includes any looks that are a mismatch of patterns. Oh yes, I would place that ugly grunge look in this category. 
2. The hipster look: This look includes some retro styles, ironic t-shirts, over-sized glasses, scarves with everything, some androgynous items, and a weird mismatch of items.
3. The androgynous look: This includes wearing any clothing that a man would wear (in his size). It includes boy shorts, boy-cut jeans, dress pants in men's cuts, ties, pant suits, fedoras, men's style shoes, over-sized clothes, military looks etc.
4. The sporty look: Some women who wear this look play sports or just like the look. Some may identify as tomboys. It includes sweats and track suits, clothing with visible logos, hoodies, sneakers, ball caps, polo shirts, and sports jerseys.
5. The skater, snowboarder, surfer look: This is a variation on the sporty look that includes those awful skateboarding shoes, baggy pants, hoodies, boy-cut shorts, ball caps, and flip-flops.
6. The punk look: This look is meant to make women look tough, depressed, or scary. Most of the clothing is black and includes combat boots, spikes, skulls and chains. Oh and the piercings, makeup, and hair colours are horrendous.
7. The weird high-fashion look: I would describe this as the strange Lady Gaga, Nikki Minaj, and sometimes Rihanna look. Most people don't wear this look but it's the type of thing you see in Vogue. These fashions make you look nothing like the girl next-door. The look is meant to gain attention with really weird, uncomfortable looking fashions that make you look totally unapproachable. It includes all of those expensive designer dresses that just aren't as cute or pretty as they could be.
8. The sloppy hippy look: This includes loose, 70s style clothes and patterns, ill-fitting clothes that actually looks second-hand, and that boho-chic look. Just not cute!
9. The hip hop look: This is similar to the sporty look and included anything considered "ghetto fabulous". I don't want to look like I listen to hip hop at all.

These are the styles I see a lot of people wearing in Canada and on television. I don't like the styles and they bore me. Almost all of these styles incorporate some sort of "edge". I can't stand edge and it is so masculine! Something edgy would be a woman in a pretty dress and combat boots, or a cute pink sweater with skulls, or punk girls in tutus. It just ruins the femininity and cuteness. It conveys hostility, unhappiness, boredom, and a negative attitude. Being edgy is not the look I'm going for.

B- Lifestyle in Japan

I just read a fascinating article on Clutch Magazine called "B-Style: Japanese Youth Reject Convention in the Pursuit of Blackness". You must watch the video below!

For Hip Hop News & Entertainment at DimeWars.Com

Here are my thoughts about the article and video:

1. It makes me happy to know that some people think Black women are so beautiful that they want to look like us. In Japanese society (and many others) where pale skin is the epitome of beauty, some people think dark skin is more attractive and healthier looking. It was amazing watching the video and hearing the women say that Black women looked so good and cute. The B-style women use dark tanning just like light-skinned women in North America who tan and prefer their skin to be dark (just not as dark). They also like Afro-textured hair and braids (unlike some men over here). I didn't hear any of the women saying the Black women looked hard or unfeminine, they think the Black women look beautiful, cute, and pretty and that our styles look good. 
2. I think that the Japanese women wearing the styles are still cute but it does make them look harder than the kawaii girls (I'm not a fan of the piercings). But they still look feminine don't they? Would a Black woman dressed the same way still appear cute? I did notice the women in the video were smiling a lot so maybe that's the difference. It didn't seem like they were swearing or speaking in a harsh, masculine manner either. Wearing hip hop fashion is not the same as acting ghetto and hard. Wear it, don't be it.
3. I wish they would not use tanning beds. I just can't cosign anyone trying to look Black if it would endanger their health. Self-tanners are the best option. It would be horrible if some of these women ended up with skin cancer in 20 years because of a fashion trend they liked when they were young and innocent. Are they doing blackface? I don't think that is their intention and it's different from White American kids having those offensive hip hop costume parties. The people at those parties were making fun of Black people not appreciating them. They were putting on costumes not embracing a fashion trend. Tanning beds exist to make skin dark, the Japanese are just going extra dark. Now if they started painting their lips white and putting on Amos and Andy routines that would be another story!
4. I wish that people around the world did not think that hip hop culture was synonymous with "Black culture". I cringed when I saw the women watching 50cent's Candy Shop video. Do they even understand his degrading lyrics? Are they pumping more money into the rap industry that actually degrades all Black people? I think they just like the beats (as do I), don't understand the lyrics, have never lived the dangerous street lifestyle (most of us haven't), and just like the fashion. I can't fault them for that because the hip hop industry likes it that way and goes to great lengths to promote it as the only   "authentic Blackness" today, even for other Black people! I hope that they don't start accepting the degradation of women, using the n-word, and thinking drug dealing and gangs are cool. I want Black people to stop liking those things and it would be better if the Japanese did not embrace those things either. Am I offended by it? No. They have been sold a commercialized music/fashion style just like everyone else. I think that fashion is fashion. I like Japanese fashion and prefer kawaii to hip hop fashion :)
5. Someone commented that they thought that some Black men would prefer an Asian woman acting Black to an actual Black woman. I wouldn't be surprised if that was true, even if the woman had a bad attitude and was a golddigger. Anyone who excuses the same behaviour in one person or "race" over another just has a preference for that person or "race" period.
6. It was interesting hearing the comments of the B-girl's mother. The mother said that the girl was in school and healthy so the unusual fashion was okay. She knew that when her daughter got older she would give that all up and dress in a mature manner. That's exactly what Black people have to do! You have to put that aside after a while and grow up, tone things down, speak properly, and live a respectable (non-criminal) life. For some reason, young Black people are so immersed in hip hop culture they can't act in any other way. It's just a fashion, not an inherent part of your personality or DNA as a Black person. Giving it up or never liking it in the first place does not mean you are not Black.
7. I didn't like Dime Wars' spin on the video. They entitled their article "Dang! When Black Women are Trying so Hard to Not Look Like Themselves, Japanese Women are Trying to Look Like Them". What a backhanded compliment! Instead of just looking at it as an appreciation of Black women, the writer had to criticize Black women for wearing hair extensions. While there are some Black men who like our style there are many others who hate it. You can't please everyone nor should you bother trying. I bet if the Japanese women started wearing wigs and hair extensions (they already do actually) they would be given a pass because they have long straight hair underneath. It takes a real talent (sarcasm) to turn that video into a criticism of Black women.

Articles:
NajaBarbie (MUTE your computer if you are at work :) Take a look at the photos. Do Black women look cute when the wear the same things? Is there a difference? Honestly, maybe it's because they're thin so the clothes look better on them the way high fashion is made for skinny models. Clothes just don't look as good if you are bigger. Is that it? Plus, a lot of them are smiling.)

Tokyo Ms. Kicks (Wow! You have to see this blog!!!)
Gyaru Gal Styles
BGal tumbler (photos!)
Surprisingly there are many blogs by Black women and White women who love this stuff!
Videos:
B-Gyaru Love (view this on mute because music is horrible)
Tokyo Sera Toujours Tokyo
Top 15 Japanese Fashion Styles (yeah, they had a style called blackface...not sure if it had to do with Black people though)
B-Gyaru and Rasta (speechless...look at the hair!)

Asian Women Acting Masculine, Hard, and Ghetto in Music Videos

Last night, for the first time, I watched videos of Asian girl groups! It was a surprise. Ladies, these women are singing R&B, rapping,  gyrating, dancing hip hop, and showing some serious attitude! They are displaying some real masculine traits and actually looking hard instead of delicate and submissive! These videos have millions of views so they must be popular groups. This is obviously because they were influenced by African American music and with the music comes the attitude. Too much rap and hip hop can cause people to act hard and women to act masculine even if they did not grow up in rough neighbourhoods where that was the norm. All around the world, when people listen to our music and watch our videos and movies they think all Black women are hard, aggressive, and masculine. People who like the music then start acting like the musicians. I wonder if there are groups of Asian women who are now acting hard and unfeminine because of this music? I wonder if men and their elders think it is a disgrace? If most Asian women started to act like this would they still be considered the feminine ideal?

But I'm guessing that the Asian women in these videos are just putting on an act that they can turn on and off whenever they want. They probably know that acting that way is unacceptable and counterproductive in their everyday lives so they don't become invested in it. Since so many Asian women don't act hard in real life no one today would say that most Asian women are unfeminine and have bad attitudes the way they do with us.

Please watch some of the videos linked below and let me know what you think. Are they still somehow more feminine than Black women in the videos? If so is it because their skin is light or because they are so small, thin and cute? Is it because its hard to believe these women are so hard? To be honest, even though these women are acting hard I would never be afraid of one of them but I would not be surprised if some Black female celebrities threw a punch at someone.

The girls look the hardest in this video. I actually like the song! To tell the truth, if I was in a club I would dance to any one of these songs! Makes me wonder what happened to all the Black girl groups? I used to love SWV and groups like that but I don't hear music like that anymore :(

These girls are showing plenty of "Black girl attitude" but I'm sure all those men who complain about our attitudes still think they are cute. If Black women's attitudes were so bad then why would anyone want to show that in a music video? I'm not saying we shouldn't try to be EBWs, but maybe the rest of the world doesn't think a little attitude and sass is horrible (so chin up). I've heard some people actually like that about us.

2NE1 -I Am The Best (pretty aggressive with guns!)
2NE1 -Can't Nobody (English Version) warning foul language (shocking!)
2NE1 -I Don't Care (wow, Asian woman with an afro in this one)
2NE1 Fire

I'm going to keep writing about Asian women because (unfortunately), many people believe they are very feminine and Black women are not. I'll also look into African, Middle Eastern, and Indian femininity because I don't really know much about these things so maybe readers will find it interesting too. I think I just want to see something besides the European ideal of femininity. Of course, I will post as much as I can about EBWs :)