Feminine Black Women in Music Videos

Today I thought it would be nice to just show some music videos where the women are being very feminine, flirty, girly, soft, and romantic in my opinion. It's easier to pick out femininity when you see it in action I think. Notice the wardrobe, soft hair, flowing movements, feminine and cutesy dancing, fluttering eyelashes, and pleasant facial expressions. These women are singing about romantic relationships and love mostly.


This is Sandcastle Disco by Solange Knowles. I like Solange's retro sound and I think I like her more than Beyonce. I think she is adorable in this video! I really like the song too. Notice the lyrics and the feminine message or vulnerability and needing to be treated with care.



This is another interesting video from Solange. I remember this song from the L'Oreal hair colour commercials. Notice the wardrobe in the 1960s and how it becomes increasingly more masculine and hard during the futuristic scene. I of course prefer the 1960s outfits the most because they are the most feminine.


I am really liking Corinne Bailey Rae! She is the queen of the innocent, breathless, baby voice lol! I love this song as well as Put Your Records On.



I am so mesmerized by Corinne's hair! She has been one of my hair inspirations for a while but it looks even better in motion! Gorgeous!



This is Inna Modja. I have collected many images of her on Tumblr because of her hair, smile, and feminine demeanor. Most of the song is in French but the chorus is in English. I like it :)



Ah Sade, this is one of the most feminine videos ever! Look at the way she moves, her facial expression, and listen to the lyrics. She is soooo feminine it's unbelievable.

P.S. Hey have you noticed that women in country music tend to be very feminine and not very masculine, hard, and overly sexual like the women in pop and hip hop?  They are also overwhelmingly White. I wish I didn't hate twang. fiddles, and banjos so much otherwise I would like it! I'm allergic to twang :) Plus, a lot of them sing about love and relationships and that's my favorite subject for music, since I love ballads. There is also that part of me that really notices that country music is overwhelmingly White and wonders if this isn't because of racism, just as the U.S. Republican party is also very White (I reference the U.S. because that's where most country music comes from). Maybe it's the conservative thing? I'll post a video below of popular country music.


You tell me, do they appear more feminine and less like loose women when compared to pop musicians? Well except for Gretchen Wilson who seems pretty hard. Some of the photos are sexy but not as over the top as the pop or hip hop ones. Maybe it's the facial expressions and feminine clothing? Maybe I'm so used to seeing "Black women appreciation videos" that use photos from men's magazines so the country video looks very tame. Lol, notice how feminist some of the lyrics are though! Some are not about romance and are about having masculine traits or getting revenge on a man! All the songs except three were about men. I have the feeling that Christian and gospel musicians would be more reserved and feminine too but I don't do religion or religious music.

Asian Women Acting Masculine, Hard, and Ghetto Part II

I found this interesting Tumblr Site about B-Gyaru (sorry about the title). I previously wrote about B-gyaru in my posts, B-Lifestyle in Japan and Asian Women Acting Hard, Masculine, and Ghetto in Music Videos. Some may think this looks cute but I don't. I think you should also know that the most popular wearers of this style are STRIPPERS! Okay, some are go-go dancers, but you can tell from the site that they sometimes wear barely any clothes, many work at clubs, and they look very over sexed. They look hard and trashy in my opinion and you know this is not a respectable way to dress. I mean it's not all horrible but....just look at it and decide for yourself. Compare that site with one for cute, feminine Gyaru gals at Site 1, Site 2, Site 3, Site 4, Site 5 (it's a very young look I know) and you'll notice the B gyaru look is harder and more sexual and vulgar!

Both looks are very extreme, way too extreme for professional women or students, and Gyaru is way too much for an adult woman. But I just wonder, if someone were to dress in one of these costumes who would be perceived as a sex object who lives a rough life, hard, and trashy versus cute, sweet, endearing, and harmless? I think in a way they are showing two extremes of femininity, the mature, sexually aggressive, and skin bearing type of femininity versus the girlish, innocent, sweet and frilly type of femininity. Its "Bad girl" versus "Good girl". You know I prefer the Good girl look and most parents of young girls would. Unfortunately I think many women, especially Black women, are forced and pressured into the Bad girl, mature, sexually aggressive, and skin bearing type of femininity or into hiding their femininity by adopting masculine styles. There needs to be more balance and until then there will be opposition to both types of femininity. If the Bad girl look was so great women would not be complaining that they are treated as sexual objects, assumed to be promiscuous, assumed to have low morals, passed over for more conservative girls, and disrespected. If the good girl look was accepted then people would not call Black women "sellouts", "traitors to women", or infantalized and immature for choosing a more ultra feminine look.

You won't believe this video. Yes, Caribbean women haven't always portrayed the best image either. Even the women in the video recognize that they are trying to portray "strong" women and their dancing is overly sexual. All Asian women don't want to be delicate flowers as you can see ;)


Lol Latinos are not immune as you can see on this Chola Gal Tumblr site ;) Seriously this is so crazy they really know how to do that look! (OMG When I was in high school I used to wear dark liner and light lipstick...I was copying Chola style!).

This just makes you think that all it is is clothes, make-up, dance/music, and an attitude that can be adopted by anyone. It isn't genetic. It's just that somehow, due to fate, some people adopted a certain style and demeanor while others chose something different. So just because you were born in a certain country or with skin of a certain colour it does not mean you MUST adopt the stereotypical/most popular style of that culture. It's not in your genes, it's just a matter of preference. You can adopt any style you want.

BUT if that style brings you nothing but grief you will have to decide if it's actually worth it since it really is just clothes, make-up, dance etc. To me, none of those things are worth my future marriage, friends, or job so it wouldn't be the end of the world to me if I had to stop doing these things or keep them behind clothed doors. They are not more important to me than my partner, family, friends, education or job. They don't make me me.

One last thing is that while some may find these sites and videos cute and use them as confirmation that your style is harmless fun, please consider who these people are and who is in the most support of these styles. Are they like you? Do they have the same goals and lead the same lifestyle you do? If your style is mostly worn by strippers, rappers, and criminals, and you want to be a banker, teacher, or doctor then you are emulating the wrong people and it could prevent you from achieving your goals. You do not know why these people have adopted these styles! For all you know it could be because their dancing job requires it, they are criminals or part of the underclass (e.g., in a gang), wacky musicians or artists who don't have to follow mainstream rules of conduct, they are rebelling against their parents or society (and will eventually grow out of it), they have no desires to achieve anything and are just surviving, or it's just something fun they do for the weekend. Many adopt the gangbanger style as a form of rebellion because they have no interest in leading a mainstream, "normal" life and don't need to be accepted by anyone (e.g., mainstream employers, teachers, family, banks, customers etc.). So choose wisely :)

Is it Wrong that I Only Want to Listen to Cheesy Love Songs?

I think this has to be the last post I make for a week because I am procrastinating on doing something for school. But who am I kidding, in between studying I know I'll have ideas I'll want to blog! Blogging can be so obsessive!

When I was growing up I listened to the same pop music radio station that most of my friends did. It played 90s and some 70s and 80s rock (including soft rock and classic rock), pop, R&B (including Mowtown oldies), and a little bit of rap. The artists played included Madonna, Janet Jackson, Glass Tiger, The Beatles, MC Hammer, Prince, George Michael, Eurasure, U2, En Vogue etc. Everyone knew these songs and the music was not offensive compared to pop music today. At the time it seemed like there were fewer types of music and it was easier to distinguish between rock, heavy metal, rap, pop, country, classical, R&B, jazz, and blues and of course international styles like calypso and reggae.

The type of music that moved me the most was the pop ballad and that is my favorite type of music today! I am "coming out" and admitting that my favorite type of music is any cheesy song where a guy sings about love in a very high voice! I love ballads from the Bee Gees, Maroon 5, REO Speedwagon, U2, Stevie Wonder and MANY one-hit-wonders. I also listened to my father's Love Collection records (yes the one's sold in infomercials) and I loved them! When I hear these songs I get an instant physical feeling of love for the singers (the same way I feel when I see and hear cats lol)! It's an 'I want to scream' and 'I love this/you so much I want to die' feeling that you can see in footage of Beatles or Justin Bieber fans. My theory is that the high pitched voices of male pop singers and cats activate the pleasure centres of my brain lol!!! Hmmm, maybe that's why I prefer guys with younger, higher sounding voices? Yes, it's very quirky and I do love to sing along while making typical performance hand gestures! I readily admitted this as a high school student and undergrad but since then I have felt uncomfortable doing so.

I went to graduate school in a small city and I did not like any of the radio stations (they played too much country that I absolutely can not tolerate and constant Nickleback!). I also did not like many of the songs played on Much Music because they were getting too "screamy" and sounded computer generated (Autotune is horrible). So for the next several years I was not paying attention to new music at all and I mostly heard new music through movies, television, or by chance. Now I feel some imaginary pressure to listen to new music so that I can actually state what type of music I like and open my mind to new things or something. I  keep reading dating profiles where men state "I like many types of music" and it makes me feel like I'm closed off or immature because I rarely like new music and there are many types I don't like. I feel (and have been made to feel) guilty for not liking country music, most things with fiddles (e.g., Celtic music), some alternative (ewww grunge music), jazz, reggae, and calypso. There are many types of music that are great in television and movies for setting the mood (e.g., heavy metal in horror films, classical, jazz etc.) but I don't find pleasure listening to them outside of these mediums. It's like I worry something is wrong with me because I am not moved by more types of music.

When I started looking into new styles of music I tried some so-called "conscious hip hop" (that was actually full of curse words and the n-word), R&B, and neo-soul. I felt so much pressure to choose my favorite music based on race instead of what I found pleasurable!  I felt as though I would be a "sell-out" if I ignored these forms of music and limited myself to genres predominated by White people! There may be some other racial minorities who feel pressure to like their cultural music too but others will just like what they like and never feel guilty. I think that unlike other groups, there is a lot of pressure for Black people to listen to and support rap/hip hop despite it's rampant degradation of women, degradation of Black people (by using the n-word) and making Black men look like materialistic thugs, morally bankrupt artists, and it's references to lifestyles that are foreign to many middle class people (e.g., living in the hood, shootings, drugs, and gangs). But I think that now I am finally secure about my rejection of rap/hip hop music! I think it's safer to avoid the genre and negative messages instead of "giving it a chance" just because a few songs may be innocuous.

I am going to listen to internet radio more often so that I can hear my old favorites and new pop music. I tried listening to some emo, indie rock, soul, and R&B but they did not move me emotionally. I will try them again but probably if they are not played on pop stations I won't seek them out. I feel as though I am not supposed to like the same music I did when I was younger and I'm supposed to like more "adult" types of music that is serious and edgy instead of love songs sung by cute guys. This reminds me of the pressure women feel to abandon pleasurable things, being playful, and acting girly after a certain age (as I wrote about in my post I'd Love to be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl). People feel pressure to trade in everything from childhood for things that are serious and mature (maybe because of that Bible verse about putting away childish things but I'm not even religious). How necessary is it for adults to become aware of depressing/controversial things for the sake of education even though they are powerless to change anything? I think there has to be a balance between entertainment being purely for pleasure and entertainment that is also educational and thought provoking. There seems to be a lot of pressure focus on the latter. I prefer songs that are about love (being in, finding, or losing it) mostly sung by men with high voices. It doesn't teach me about other cultures or the plight of oppressed people. I like 80s and 90s pop and any modern music that sounds similar. The last two CDs I bought were James Blunt and Gavin DeGraw. It just makes me happy. Isn't that enough?

Asian Women Acting Masculine, Hard, and Ghetto in Music Videos

Last night, for the first time, I watched videos of Asian girl groups! It was a surprise. Ladies, these women are singing R&B, rapping,  gyrating, dancing hip hop, and showing some serious attitude! They are displaying some real masculine traits and actually looking hard instead of delicate and submissive! These videos have millions of views so they must be popular groups. This is obviously because they were influenced by African American music and with the music comes the attitude. Too much rap and hip hop can cause people to act hard and women to act masculine even if they did not grow up in rough neighbourhoods where that was the norm. All around the world, when people listen to our music and watch our videos and movies they think all Black women are hard, aggressive, and masculine. People who like the music then start acting like the musicians. I wonder if there are groups of Asian women who are now acting hard and unfeminine because of this music? I wonder if men and their elders think it is a disgrace? If most Asian women started to act like this would they still be considered the feminine ideal?

But I'm guessing that the Asian women in these videos are just putting on an act that they can turn on and off whenever they want. They probably know that acting that way is unacceptable and counterproductive in their everyday lives so they don't become invested in it. Since so many Asian women don't act hard in real life no one today would say that most Asian women are unfeminine and have bad attitudes the way they do with us.

Please watch some of the videos linked below and let me know what you think. Are they still somehow more feminine than Black women in the videos? If so is it because their skin is light or because they are so small, thin and cute? Is it because its hard to believe these women are so hard? To be honest, even though these women are acting hard I would never be afraid of one of them but I would not be surprised if some Black female celebrities threw a punch at someone.

The girls look the hardest in this video. I actually like the song! To tell the truth, if I was in a club I would dance to any one of these songs! Makes me wonder what happened to all the Black girl groups? I used to love SWV and groups like that but I don't hear music like that anymore :(

These girls are showing plenty of "Black girl attitude" but I'm sure all those men who complain about our attitudes still think they are cute. If Black women's attitudes were so bad then why would anyone want to show that in a music video? I'm not saying we shouldn't try to be EBWs, but maybe the rest of the world doesn't think a little attitude and sass is horrible (so chin up). I've heard some people actually like that about us.

2NE1 -I Am The Best (pretty aggressive with guns!)
2NE1 -Can't Nobody (English Version) warning foul language (shocking!)
2NE1 -I Don't Care (wow, Asian woman with an afro in this one)
2NE1 Fire

I'm going to keep writing about Asian women because (unfortunately), many people believe they are very feminine and Black women are not. I'll also look into African, Middle Eastern, and Indian femininity because I don't really know much about these things so maybe readers will find it interesting too. I think I just want to see something besides the European ideal of femininity. Of course, I will post as much as I can about EBWs :)

Modern Femininity: Sade - By Your Side

Watch the Video...simply lovely!