Remember when Being Feminine and Girly was a Black Thing?

When exactly did Black women start embracing the "strong, hard, independent Black woman" instead of the "feminine, delicate, elegant Black woman"? I know that during slavery Black women could not afford the same clothing as White women and they had to do hard labor, so let's just focus on after slavery. During those times there were surely poor Black women and those who were "better off" in their communities. Again let's focus on the women who were "better off" and could actually afford to choose their clothing (even if it was of lesser quality than the clothing White women could afford). Many of these women may have actually sewn their own clothes but they would have had to purchase the fabric. These women dressed very similar to White women at the time. I don't know for sure, but they may have added their own unique flare to the styles, but they were very feminine, elegant, and beautiful. I do also notice that they attempted to style their hair like White women which is unfortunate, but they probably needed to in order to work and fit in at the time.

So there was a time when Black women and White women followed the same fashion trends and dressed in a similar manner! When did this stop? Was it in the 60s when Black women started wearing afros? During the 60s and the civil rights and feminist movements Black and White women wore pants more often and embraced the sloppy hippie look. Both looks could be feminine or masculine at times. Was it the 70s? I think the Black disco queens were quite feminine. I don't think it was most of the 80s either because there were many Black female celebrities (e.g., the Pointer Sisters) who dressed in a feminine manner that was quite similar to the style of White celebrities.

There have always been subcultures who had their unique styles but I'm talking about mainstream fashion that was worn by the masses and then promoted by fashion designers and brands. Often times a musician would have a style, fans would copy the style and attitude of the musician, and eventually the mainstream would embrace the music, style, and attitude (or an actress would star in a big movie and fans would copy her style seen in the movie and in public). I think that the point where Black women embraced hard, edgy, defiant, masculine styles and mannerisms was the 1990s (because they liked them, not because they had to)! Prior to the 90s there was not much of a difference between Black and White female fashions, at least one did not seem more masculine than the other.  The 90s saw hip hop culture become mainstream and "urban fashion" was born. Urban female fashion was hard, edgy, overly sexy, or a female version of MEN'S fashion (in fact, when I was a girl I just wore my brother's old clothes). The sexy part was similar to White women's fashion but the hard, masculine part was unique to urban fashion (well actually White women had punk fashion that was hard and masculine but all White women were never pressured to dress punk. White people had many other styles that they chose from so they did not limit themselves to one style). By the 90s many Black women had also accepted feminism and along with that many rejected anything that was traditionally feminine (e.g., learning how to cook, sew, knit, and act like a lady etc.).

Celebrities who embraced urban fashion included Mary J. Blige, TLC, Queen Latifah, MC Lyte, Salt & Pepa, Aalyiah, Brandy, Monica, SWV, Xscape, and many others. When you think of these women, when they were most popular they tended to wear over-sized clothing that often looked like men's clothes and in their videos they rarely smiled and often looked unhappy. These were the women that Black women everywhere emulated! Some celebrities like En Vogue dressed in a feminine manner but they also had a hard edge sometimes. Fortunately, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey appeared "nice" in their videos as did some other pop and R & B singers (both women were accused of acting "too White"). This was the time when hardness and attitude crept into the professional personas of Black musicians and it was rare to see a Black musician who appeared sweet, soft, or down to earth without a chip on her shoulder. This was also echoed on television shows where elegant women like Claire Huxtable were replaced with loud, obnoxious caricatures like Gina on the Martin show, and numerous characters on In Living Color and Saturday Night Live (remember Ellen Cleghorn and her character threatening to cut everyone?).

Some may argue that the world always thought that Black women were unfeminine compared to other women and the change in fashion would not have made a difference. I just don't believe that! I think that if Black women had continued to choose mainstream fashions (and attitudes) instead of urban fashion then we would look no different from White or Asian women and perhaps today we would be regarded in the same manner. Look at how people react to Michelle Obama. Some still hold racist views and claim that she is angry and militant but sensible people can see she is very feminine, a caring mother, and a devoted wife, and that she dresses the same way they do (or the way they aspire to dress). Many Black women CHOSE to appear different and rejected anything that was overly feminine by calling it "White" and embraced masculine, oversized clothing as being "Black". We also did the same thing by calling good manners, speaking softly, becoming educated, reading etc. "acting White" even though these things were once cherished in the Black community! Instead we chose to follow the uneducated, criminal rappers and their hard, defiant, hyper-masculine attitudes. We followed these men in an attempt to "keep it real" and show our loyalty when we would have been better off following the fashion aimed at women in general! Part of this may have been an angry rejection of anything associated with White culture but I don't think it has helped us and it has only marginalized us further. It didn't work so what's the point holding on to it (the same goes for Black men acting hard because it has backfired)? Black women today need to realize that Black women were not always hard! Even in the face of blatant racism during Jim Crowe many women still carried themselves with more dignity and appeared more feminine and gentle than women today! I really think it's time that we went back to the old ways and rejected urban fashion/attitudes/mannerisms in favor of feminine, mainstream women's fashion/attitudes/mannerisms. That's exactly what I am doing!

Fantastic links to Vintage Black Women (you must visit these links and be amazed by the way Black women were once portrayed!):
Vintage Black women on Flickr
Vintage Black glamour on Tumblr
Vintage Black2 on Tumblr
16 Stone Vintage (great blog WOW!)

This EBW is Learning How to Sew

I have decided to save up to buy a sewing machine! The reason for this is very practical. I lost a lot of weight and now I have over a dozen really nice blazers that are way too big. I have a few options:

1. Do nothing and let the blazers sit where they are because I might gain all the weight back anyway (no way!!!). But what will I wear in the meantime?
2. Donate all the blazers to charity and buy new ones. This will be expensive.
3. Take the blazers to a tailor to have them altered. This will also be expensive. Most of them are second hand and altering may cost most than I actually paid for the!
4. Buy a sewing machine, learn how to use it, and alter all the blazers myself.

I have chosen option #4 because although buying the machine will be an investment it will pay for itself because I won't have to buy new blazers or pay for a tailor. Furthermore, as long as I (and my future family) wear clothes I may need to make alterations. I can already make minor repairs to my clothing by hand, but a machine will be better for the large scale alterations I have to make. Doing all the alterations may take a year, but why not learn a new skill?

This is a traditional female skill but it is useful, and in these economic times it makes sense to do things yourself and not waste money. Many people dream about becoming rich and never cooking, cleaning, or doing almost anything for themselves. But this is reality and I don't have a maid. We throw away too much money to restaurants, housecleaning services, handymen, and other services that people used to just do for themselves. Isn't it better to be self-sufficient and use our hard earned money for more important things? Altering my clothes will make them fit and look better. If any of you have watched "What not to Wear" then you have probably heard them recommend altering the clothes you buy so that they fit better (I watch the show occasionally but I think they way too superficial and narrow-minded).

My mother can sew and I actually learned a little back in high school. But I didn't keep it up because, as was typical for me, I though anything that was traditionally feminine was beneath me and all modern women. I'm thinking differently about it now. I don't think I'll ever start making my own clothes, but I could do other things like make curtains, pillows, place mats, and simple things instead of buying them. Just think about all of those home decorating and renovation shows like "Take This House and Sell It" where a seamstress makes the curtains and pillows...I could do that! It could be a worthwhile hobby :)

Here are some articles on the benefits of sewing:
The Many Benefits of Sewing
Benefits of Sewing
Learn to Sew: Benefits of Sewing
Studies Show Benefits of Sewing

Should an Elegant Black Woman be Able to Cook?

"A good cook is a sorceress who dispenses happiness." Elsa Schiapirelli

"Some people like to paint pictures, or do gardening, or build a boat in the basement. Other people get a tremendous pleasure out of the kitchen, because cooking is just as creative and imaginative an activity as drawing, or wood carving, or music." Julia Child

"Cooking is at once child's play and adult joy. And cooking done with care is an act of love." Craig Claiborne, Kitchen Primer

"Cooking is an art and patience a virtue... Careful shopping, fresh ingredients and an unhurried approach are nearly all you need. There is one more thing - love. Love for food and love for those you invite to your table. With a combination of these things you can be an artist - not perhaps in the representational style of a Dutch master, but rather more like Gauguin, the naïve, or Van Gogh, the impressionist. Plates or pictures of sunshine taste of happiness and love." Keith Floyd, ‘A Feast of Floyd’

Since starting this blog I have changed my thoughts about cooking. For years I dreaded the thought of being "barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen"; I reasoned that if I didn't cook well then that would never happen. I also thought that if I could cook well then my man would require it all the time. Well, I don't plan to be a housewife and I don't plan to cook all the time...so should I learn anyway? I should add that I can cook for myself, but I like plain, healthy meals with low salt and fat, but I don't tend to do recipes and make big meals. So I don't think I cook things that most people (who are not watching their weight) would like.

I realize now that there are good reasons to learn how to cook:

1. Cooking your own food will lower your risk for obesity. Restaurant portions are too big and the food is full of calories, salt, sugar, and fat. Eating out, especially at fast food restaurants, is a health risk (anyone remember "Supersize Me"). You need to be in control of the calories you consume and stick to the recommended serving sizes. If you prepare your own food then you can keep your meals healthy and keep your family healthy.
2. Cooking your own food will save you money. Eating out and buying ready-made meals at the supermarket is expensive. If you purchase the individual ingredients and make your own meals you will save money and you will be able to make multiple meals with the same ingredients.
3. Cooking your own food will limit your exposure to preservatives and bad ingredients. Fast food and processed foods are full of preservatives like nitrates that are bad for your health. Some high sugar processed foods can actually be addictive. Fortunately, you can buy organic or unprocessed foods at the supermarket.
4. Cooking your own food can be a fun hobby. Cooking well is a skill that is valuable in women AND men. It takes talent and knowledge. Learning and trying new recipes can be a fun and creative diversion. If you are watching your weight it can also change your relationship with food so that you focus on cooking rather than eating. No one complains about anyone being too good a cook!
5. Cooking is a way to show others you care. If you cook great meals then your man and your kids will be happy to come home. They will be excited when holiday dinners and special occasions come around. You can keep your family close by preparing delicious meals together, sitting down at the table, and talking about your day. This is a great way for parents to spend more quality time with their kids. If you are a good cook, your extended family and friends will love coming over for holidays and dinner parties and you can impress them with your skills. Even your mother-in-law might like you!
6. Cooking makes you more attractive to men. We have all heard that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach so why not use that to make yourself more attractive? Many men list 'ability to cook' as an attractive quality in a woman (women appreciate a man who can cook too). Some women don't learn to cook because it is a traditional feminine role. But love of food is universal and you will be enjoying the meal too!  Plus, I am not saying you need to make a four-course meal every night. Perhaps you and your man (and your kids) can spend quality time preparing meals together so that he is involved in the work and does not expect you to do everything. The rest of the family should also help with the cleaning. You can also prepare most of the basic ingredients on the weekend (meat, rice, chopped vegetables etc.), and just heat or cook things together quickly during the week to save time. Cooking for an hour or less per night is adequate and there are cookbooks with quick recipes to give you ideas.

I have decided that once I get a stove and oven I will try out recipes and improve my cooking skills. I will use online healthy recipes and try new things. I think cooking is an asset that is necessary to maintain your health and it is so very attractive and delicious too!