Feminine Black Women in Music Videos

Today I thought it would be nice to just show some music videos where the women are being very feminine, flirty, girly, soft, and romantic in my opinion. It's easier to pick out femininity when you see it in action I think. Notice the wardrobe, soft hair, flowing movements, feminine and cutesy dancing, fluttering eyelashes, and pleasant facial expressions. These women are singing about romantic relationships and love mostly.


This is Sandcastle Disco by Solange Knowles. I like Solange's retro sound and I think I like her more than Beyonce. I think she is adorable in this video! I really like the song too. Notice the lyrics and the feminine message or vulnerability and needing to be treated with care.



This is another interesting video from Solange. I remember this song from the L'Oreal hair colour commercials. Notice the wardrobe in the 1960s and how it becomes increasingly more masculine and hard during the futuristic scene. I of course prefer the 1960s outfits the most because they are the most feminine.


I am really liking Corinne Bailey Rae! She is the queen of the innocent, breathless, baby voice lol! I love this song as well as Put Your Records On.



I am so mesmerized by Corinne's hair! She has been one of my hair inspirations for a while but it looks even better in motion! Gorgeous!



This is Inna Modja. I have collected many images of her on Tumblr because of her hair, smile, and feminine demeanor. Most of the song is in French but the chorus is in English. I like it :)



Ah Sade, this is one of the most feminine videos ever! Look at the way she moves, her facial expression, and listen to the lyrics. She is soooo feminine it's unbelievable.

P.S. Hey have you noticed that women in country music tend to be very feminine and not very masculine, hard, and overly sexual like the women in pop and hip hop?  They are also overwhelmingly White. I wish I didn't hate twang. fiddles, and banjos so much otherwise I would like it! I'm allergic to twang :) Plus, a lot of them sing about love and relationships and that's my favorite subject for music, since I love ballads. There is also that part of me that really notices that country music is overwhelmingly White and wonders if this isn't because of racism, just as the U.S. Republican party is also very White (I reference the U.S. because that's where most country music comes from). Maybe it's the conservative thing? I'll post a video below of popular country music.


You tell me, do they appear more feminine and less like loose women when compared to pop musicians? Well except for Gretchen Wilson who seems pretty hard. Some of the photos are sexy but not as over the top as the pop or hip hop ones. Maybe it's the facial expressions and feminine clothing? Maybe I'm so used to seeing "Black women appreciation videos" that use photos from men's magazines so the country video looks very tame. Lol, notice how feminist some of the lyrics are though! Some are not about romance and are about having masculine traits or getting revenge on a man! All the songs except three were about men. I have the feeling that Christian and gospel musicians would be more reserved and feminine too but I don't do religion or religious music.

Feminist Frequency Commentary on Advertising

Recently I've watched many videos on a YouTube channel called Feminist Frequency that comments on pop culture from a feminist perspective. I think that I'll be doing future posts commenting on these videos because I definitely have a different point of view! The reason why I think it's important for me to view and read things like this is so that I can identify the messages I have been given from other women, whether they are fair, whether they make sense, and whether thinking the way the messengers do would be helpful or harmful to me. This post will focus on the vlogger's commentary on sexism in advertising. Many women would agree with her assessments and views but I disagree with most of them mainly because I think that she is holding men to an unreasonably high standard for behaviour that women don't necessarily follow and because I'm not sure if the advertisements are actually harmful (i.e., is art imitating life or is life imitating art). Also, I think that many women are coming off as angry, I used to be angry about things feminists said I should be angry about, but now I feel fine so I want to understand that too.


Video #1: I didn't see things the way the vlogger did in this video. She views the actions of the men with the puppies as being "manipulative" and yes they were lying about owning the puppies. So, a man comes along with a puppy, lies and says it's his, and women get to play with them...how is this harming women? Just because a woman plays with his dog doesn't mean he'll get a date but he might just get a conversation while she plays with his dog. Did you notice that the men were not much to look at? So what is a less attractive man to do but try to find some common interest or something (e.g., clothing, a car, a dog etc.) to possibly attract a woman? Who knows if the men are just looking for sex or for actual relationships. They won't get relationships if they start off with a lie though. So in actuality, these men are so unattractive or socially inept that they have to rent dogs just to talk to women and that is really sad and pathetic! So it's the men who you should feel sorry for in the commercial (similar to the Mike's Hard Lemonade commercial in video #2)! I can also imagine that it is hard for men to be rejected so often and women should empathize with that (especially if you have had the guts to start a conversation with a guy who ends up not being interested...it can really be a blow to your self-esteem and can make you question your attractiveness and lovability). Some men would even say that women who wear make-up, body shapers, bras, and lingerie are being manipulative especially if they look very different once these items are removed. Men and women use manipulation! If I can do it then so can men. It makes me think some women may use make-up, clothes, and lingerie because they don't think they will be accepted just the way they are. Maybe men use pick up lines, bragging about money, or tricks like the men in the commercials because they don't think they will be accepted as they are either.


Video #2: This video shows a man lying to his wife about why he was staring at some attractive young women. He lies and says they could be babysitters for their child and the woman believes him. The vlogger says the woman is naive and the man is a liar. Well, I see it as him doing something natural and then lying to spare his wife's feelings and avoid an argument. In another commercial a man ripped a sweater his wife gave him rather than tell her he didn't like it. The vlogger suggested the man just say how he felt but it is difficult for some men and women to express their emotions. Maybe he wanted to avoid a fight and doesn't want to hurt her feeling by saying "You have horrible taste and I hate your gift". It also bothered the vlogger that a man lied to his wife about why he wanted to spend time with his friend but shouldn't he be allowed to spend time with his friends sometimes anyway? Come on people, even women lie about things! Well I guess unless you are one of those women who tell your partner everything but I think sometimes women lie about men flirting with them (and flirting back), dancing with other men, looking at other men, whether their partner is attractive (including the size of what's in his pants), whether he is good in bed (e.g., faking orgasms), whether he is successful, how many partners she has had and the list goes on. If women lie then so can men. Do we really want them to tell us the truth about everything? Isn't it more important that they are faithful, supportive, loving, and honest when it actually matters?


Another issue is a feminist idea that I just don't understand and that's the whole argument about "objectification" (i.e., seeing women as attractive objects for sexual pleasure). Their argument is that men should like women (complete strangers) for who they are as whole individuals not just because of their looks. I'm trying to wrap my head around why men are expected not to look, feel attraction for, or be aroused by women who are very attractive who they don't know (or even those they do know). Why should they feel ashamed of that? If a painting or sculpture is beautiful don't you want to look at it closely? If a woman is beautiful men will try to look at her closely too, some are more discreet, but they surely notice. I suppose this objectification thing bothers me because I do it to men! When I see an attractive man I definitely look at him and in a social even I may try to stand near him so he will notice me and try to talk to me. I also admit that when I see attractive men in advertisements I stare at them! There are also countless films and television shows that I have watched ONLY because they included attractive men! That's the main reason why I want to see The Avengers (I like special effects and superheroes too). It helps if the characters are also great guys but I have also ogled many villains and horrible characters too because they are fictional and I don't know the real actors personally!

Furthermore, how is someone supposed to become attracted to the entirety of a person in a two-dimensional print ad or 30 second commercial? You can only ever have superficial attraction to someone in advertising! I do agree that there is too much sex in advertising though but part of the feminist argument is that many ads only show part of a woman (e.g., chest, legs, behind, body without a face) and the complaint is that it reduces a woman to parts or "a thing" instead of a complete human being. The argument is that when people are objectified it is easier for others to treat them like things for their pleasure or desires instead of independent and valuable human beings. This is what I'm not sure of...would men be less likely to think of women as things if there were no advertisements? Aren't there men who would do that anyway if they were not interested in a relationship and only wanted sex or to look at someone attractive? I mean haven't men always been attracted to female bodies? Aren't women who have casual sex doing the same thing? I thought some feminists were okay with women enjoying sex with multiple partners without always looking for a relationship or marriage? I think some parts of certain women are very attractive and I think some parts of certain men are very attractive too; sometimes the parts actually look better on their own if the other body parts are unattractive (e.g., great abs but unattractive face, or cute face but flabby body, some parts of all of us are nicer than others because no one is perfect).

Feminism is really confusing sometimes! In Video #3 the vlogger defines sexualization as something that "turns people into objects and teaches women that their only value comes from their sexual appeal" and sexuality as "the capacity to have and express sexual desires and emotions". I don't understand the difference. If a man is sexually attracted to an 18 year old woman why is he not allowed to admit that? If men find the adult women in Glee to be sexually attractive why should they be ashamed of that? Some feminists encourage women to not be ashamed of their sexuality but the women of Glee are not allowed to appear in a sexual manner just because their TV show is supposed to be about teenagers? Their photos were also in a men's magazine so I don't understand the fuss. Hey ladies, you are not allowed to wear pigtails, knee socks, or eat lollipops now because that is infantalizing you and creating pedophiles...(groan). Are they saying that if an adult actor plays a teenager on television then in real life they must be treated like teenagers too? How do they know this confuses men at all? How do they know that without the photos men were not fantasizing about them anyway? How can the same group argue for women's rights to go topless, wear skimpy clothes, and have as much casual sex as they want and then complain about women choosing to look sexy in a men's magazine? I guess as long as it's not in print then it's okay?

Well that's all I have to say for now. I guess my opinion is that if we want equality then men and women can be attracted to the opposite sex for whatever reason they want. If someone is attractive we should not feel ashamed for looking at them as long as it is not making them feel uncomfortable and looking is not the same as touching. It is wrong to pretend to be someone you are not because then the other person is engaging in the relationship under false pretenses. But we all try to present ourselves in the best light and try to make ourselves attractive in some way which can be thought of as manipulative (some do it more than others). Sometimes there is no relationship sought at all and if women want to just have sex or to look at someone attractive then men should not be shamed for doing the same thing. I also want to note the negative language the vlogger uses to describe some of the men (e.g., scumbag, jerk) and that even though the men come off as pathetic and should be the one's upset by many of these commercials, she has so much disdain for the men and no empathy at all.

Remember when Being Feminine and Girly was a Black Thing?

When exactly did Black women start embracing the "strong, hard, independent Black woman" instead of the "feminine, delicate, elegant Black woman"? I know that during slavery Black women could not afford the same clothing as White women and they had to do hard labor, so let's just focus on after slavery. During those times there were surely poor Black women and those who were "better off" in their communities. Again let's focus on the women who were "better off" and could actually afford to choose their clothing (even if it was of lesser quality than the clothing White women could afford). Many of these women may have actually sewn their own clothes but they would have had to purchase the fabric. These women dressed very similar to White women at the time. I don't know for sure, but they may have added their own unique flare to the styles, but they were very feminine, elegant, and beautiful. I do also notice that they attempted to style their hair like White women which is unfortunate, but they probably needed to in order to work and fit in at the time.

So there was a time when Black women and White women followed the same fashion trends and dressed in a similar manner! When did this stop? Was it in the 60s when Black women started wearing afros? During the 60s and the civil rights and feminist movements Black and White women wore pants more often and embraced the sloppy hippie look. Both looks could be feminine or masculine at times. Was it the 70s? I think the Black disco queens were quite feminine. I don't think it was most of the 80s either because there were many Black female celebrities (e.g., the Pointer Sisters) who dressed in a feminine manner that was quite similar to the style of White celebrities.

There have always been subcultures who had their unique styles but I'm talking about mainstream fashion that was worn by the masses and then promoted by fashion designers and brands. Often times a musician would have a style, fans would copy the style and attitude of the musician, and eventually the mainstream would embrace the music, style, and attitude (or an actress would star in a big movie and fans would copy her style seen in the movie and in public). I think that the point where Black women embraced hard, edgy, defiant, masculine styles and mannerisms was the 1990s (because they liked them, not because they had to)! Prior to the 90s there was not much of a difference between Black and White female fashions, at least one did not seem more masculine than the other.  The 90s saw hip hop culture become mainstream and "urban fashion" was born. Urban female fashion was hard, edgy, overly sexy, or a female version of MEN'S fashion (in fact, when I was a girl I just wore my brother's old clothes). The sexy part was similar to White women's fashion but the hard, masculine part was unique to urban fashion (well actually White women had punk fashion that was hard and masculine but all White women were never pressured to dress punk. White people had many other styles that they chose from so they did not limit themselves to one style). By the 90s many Black women had also accepted feminism and along with that many rejected anything that was traditionally feminine (e.g., learning how to cook, sew, knit, and act like a lady etc.).

Celebrities who embraced urban fashion included Mary J. Blige, TLC, Queen Latifah, MC Lyte, Salt & Pepa, Aalyiah, Brandy, Monica, SWV, Xscape, and many others. When you think of these women, when they were most popular they tended to wear over-sized clothing that often looked like men's clothes and in their videos they rarely smiled and often looked unhappy. These were the women that Black women everywhere emulated! Some celebrities like En Vogue dressed in a feminine manner but they also had a hard edge sometimes. Fortunately, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey appeared "nice" in their videos as did some other pop and R & B singers (both women were accused of acting "too White"). This was the time when hardness and attitude crept into the professional personas of Black musicians and it was rare to see a Black musician who appeared sweet, soft, or down to earth without a chip on her shoulder. This was also echoed on television shows where elegant women like Claire Huxtable were replaced with loud, obnoxious caricatures like Gina on the Martin show, and numerous characters on In Living Color and Saturday Night Live (remember Ellen Cleghorn and her character threatening to cut everyone?).

Some may argue that the world always thought that Black women were unfeminine compared to other women and the change in fashion would not have made a difference. I just don't believe that! I think that if Black women had continued to choose mainstream fashions (and attitudes) instead of urban fashion then we would look no different from White or Asian women and perhaps today we would be regarded in the same manner. Look at how people react to Michelle Obama. Some still hold racist views and claim that she is angry and militant but sensible people can see she is very feminine, a caring mother, and a devoted wife, and that she dresses the same way they do (or the way they aspire to dress). Many Black women CHOSE to appear different and rejected anything that was overly feminine by calling it "White" and embraced masculine, oversized clothing as being "Black". We also did the same thing by calling good manners, speaking softly, becoming educated, reading etc. "acting White" even though these things were once cherished in the Black community! Instead we chose to follow the uneducated, criminal rappers and their hard, defiant, hyper-masculine attitudes. We followed these men in an attempt to "keep it real" and show our loyalty when we would have been better off following the fashion aimed at women in general! Part of this may have been an angry rejection of anything associated with White culture but I don't think it has helped us and it has only marginalized us further. It didn't work so what's the point holding on to it (the same goes for Black men acting hard because it has backfired)? Black women today need to realize that Black women were not always hard! Even in the face of blatant racism during Jim Crowe many women still carried themselves with more dignity and appeared more feminine and gentle than women today! I really think it's time that we went back to the old ways and rejected urban fashion/attitudes/mannerisms in favor of feminine, mainstream women's fashion/attitudes/mannerisms. That's exactly what I am doing!

Fantastic links to Vintage Black Women (you must visit these links and be amazed by the way Black women were once portrayed!):
Vintage Black women on Flickr
Vintage Black glamour on Tumblr
Vintage Black2 on Tumblr
16 Stone Vintage (great blog WOW!)

Identifying Edginess and Anti-Feminine Messages in Pop Culture

My previous post made me think about all of the messages we get from pop culture that promote edginess and anti-feminine messages. Many of these messages have influenced me in the past, but now that I know what they are I won't let them alter my attitudes or behaviour. These are some examples that stand out for me.

• Action films: I truly enjoy action movies but I know that I have to inoculate myself from wanting to be like the heroines. I loved Columbiana (starring Zoe Saldana) and any movies where women kicked the bad guys where the sun doesn't shine. But I was strongly influenced by Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2. She had muscular arms in that movie and it influenced me to start lifting weights and trying to be buff (and non-feminine). In the film she was so masculine and was unable to be nurturing to her son at all. Awesome movie but why did I admire that? It didn't help that entertainment shows were talking about how great they thought Linda looked. Her character could have easily been played by a man. I will continue to enjoy the films but I won't fantasize about beating people up. 
• Action/adventure/sci-fi television shows: I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Alias, and La Femme Nikita. On these shows the heroines were constantly fighting, using guns, and saving people (including men). Because of Buffy I actually considered learning martial arts (not just for self-defense). I have to remember, I do not have to be a protector and I do not have to fight. I'll let the men do that. 
• Athletic commercials: These advertisements almost always have anti-feminine messages. You may have seen a recent one where a woman is actually competing with a man flipping tires, climbing ropes and things like that (I couldn't find the commercial but this VIDEO makes the same point). Why do women have to compete with men in sport and exercise? I remember when I used to lift weights that I felt proud that I could lift the same dumb bells as some of the men. I was the dumb bell because I wasn't doing myself any favours. I don't want to box, play hockey, or be a power lifter. I'll stick to my cardio, light weightlifting, calisthenics, and dancing.
• Music videos: Most Western music videos for pop, alternative, or hip hop music show women with edge and attitude. Maybe videos for ballads might be softer. It isn't news that the videos are too sexy but I haven't heard anyone complain about the edginess. In fact, the videos seem to be edgy on purpose. For instance, take Lily Allen. She wears feminine dresses but she curses like a sailor. Or anything from Avril Lavigne. Even when women in videos are dressed in super feminine clothes they always have a bad attitude! It's like it's not okay to just be nice, sweet, pretty, and romantic...they have to have an attitude! Of course, even the lyrics are not befitting a lady. I wanted to post Avril's "Smile" video but there was actually cursing in it. Any video where a woman curses, sings about her sexual exploits, or sings about beating people up is not for me. Notice in the video that she pushes the "nice girls" away! These videos also shows my point :  (warning there is foul language, crude lyrics, and degrading images in this documentary) Video1, Video2.

• Catty television shows: I have watched some of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, but I have heard that all the Real Housewives shows, Basketball Wives, and Love and Hip Hop shows are similar. The women in the shows may have money and expensive clothes but they lack class, education, sophistication, and good manners. They curse and get into physical fights! I avoid these shows like the plague. I avoid most reality shows anyway. There is nothing I need to learn from Jersey Shore or Teen Moms. These shows are pure poison! I haven't seen Desperate Housewives, Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars, or shows like that because I haven't been into that type of drama for a while. From what I have heard they have women scheming and acting very catty. It might be good entertainment but I would have to remind myself that this is not model female behaviour before I watch. 
• Romantic comedies: It may seem strange to put this on the list, but there are a lot of mixed messages in romantic comedies. For instance, sometimes the female lead chases the guy and they often have sex on the first date or way too early. If the woman is the focus of the movie sometimes she drinks, smokes, and has other masculine traits. But if the man is the focus it is usually a very feminine woman! Well, that's what comes to my mind but I haven't been watching too many of these films. I just remember "Going the Distance" was like that so my opinion on this one might be inaccurate. But I guess all women are different and there is a guy for every woman even if they do have some bad habits and masculine traits. Do you know what's funny...remember that scene in the "Breakfast Club" where Alley Sheedy gets a makeover from melancholic emo girl to girly girl? For a long time I actually preferred her melancholic look but now I prefer the made-over look!
• Fashion magazines: Yes, the magazines made by women for women are full of edginess and anti-feminine messages! I think my previous post demonstrates that many of the fashions displayed in these magazines are androgynous and unflattering to a feminine body. Their fashions don't not look good on women with curves and don't look so great on emaciated models either. Maybe it's because most of the designers are males who are not attracted to females? I have the feeling that the Asian styles I like are designed by women. Plus, in the magazines the women often look bored, like they are on heroine, unhappy, overly sexual, or like they have an attitude. It's rare to see anyone smiling or looking happy at all. It's all about edge and looking unnatural. I found a magazine a couple of days ago and that was what I noticed about it. I don't read fashion magazines (I don't buy magazines anymore) and I haven't for years because they tend to have a negative effect on women's body image. These videos demonstrate my point: Video1, Video2, Video3, Video4.