Two More New EBW Videos

I really enjoyed making these two videos. It's actually a lot of fun. I enjoy watching them because they really show how feminine and beautiful Black women can be and the femininity of Black women of the past. I've watched both several times while making them and after adding all the labels. The more I watch the more I can see how to be an Elegant Black Woman. Notice the way they smile, pose, and have pleasant (non angry) facial expressions. I can also see that many of the women are wearing shaping garments like corsets. I love these images!

New EBW YouTube Videos :)

I just made some videos for YouTube. These are just image videos because enough of my thoughts are already on this blog. I think I'll turn all of my photo posts into videos. It wasn't hard at all. I used a free program called Ezvid and then added annotations using YouTube. I think that the difference between these women and the women we see in the media will be very striking. These women look highly desirable, approachable, friendly, kind, and like high quality women. These are my fashion and beauty role models.  I hope you enjoy these :)

Tribute to Black Beauty Queens

I've been meaning to make this post for a while but I didn't have the time. Last month I watched videos of Black beauty queens on YouTube and I have links for you all to watch. These are the women we need to look up to! I'm not talking about being some diva, doing anything to win including sabotaging other women, or being nothing but a pretty face. I'm talking about being intelligent, well-spoken, educated, ambitious, poised, congenial, and a well-rounded woman who men desire and women envy. Those are the traits of an EBW! Enjoy these videos and pay special attention to the make-up (natural looking), physique (healthy, not underweight or overweight, athletic not masculine), intelligence (in the answers), poise, and grace. Many of these pageants award scholarships, the chance to travel and make new connections, and the opportunity to be a role model. They are not just pretty faces...but they could do without the swimsuit competition. Oh yes, and look at how lovely Black women can look in gowns!

Vanessa Williams Miss America 1984 (yes I know about her indiscretion but she still carries herself like a lady and expressed herself so well in this video!)

Chelsi Smith Miss USA 1995

Janelle Commissiong first Black Miss Universe 1977
Vanessa Williams Miss America 1984 and Vanessa Williams the beauty queen
Miss Trinidad Miss world 1986 (Halle Berry is in this clip)
Debbie Turner Miss America 1990
Carole Gist Miss USA 1990
Kenya Moore Miss USA 1993
Ericka Dunlap Miss America 2004 (she was so surprised it's hilarious!)
Carissa Cameron Miss America 2010
Leila Lopes Miss Universe 2011

Miss Black American Princess Pageant (good example of showing girls how to behave)
Black beauty queens around the world

Blog Review - Be Exquisite Part II

This is Part 2 of my review of the beautiful and elegant Be Exquisite blog! I started the review from page 26 to page 16. Part 1 can be read HERE. Part 2 will be about the many random thoughts and questions that popped into my head while reading her blog (that are likely to inspire future posts). Really, they are just ramblings that will probably tell you more about me than the actual blog! I will review the rest of the blog in a future post. 

These are the Thoughts that Popped into my Head as I Read this Interesting Blog

Changing Yourself: 

• As I read through the blog I kept asking myself "is this all fake"?. Is the elegance we see in Michelle Obama her true self? Did she not receive some sort of teaching and coaching? If so, then some or us were taught early but it's still possible for some of us to be taught later. Eventually, practicing what we learn will become habit and our true selves. It isn't a natural way to behave but it can become natural.
• Are people allowed to change? Should we not improve ourselves? Rude is rude, obnoxious is obnoxious, why accept that your true self is an obnoxious oaf?
• Is it wrong to improve yourself to get a man? People do it to get a job and a man is more important than a job. It's a give and take. You become a better woman in order to get a better man. If you are a poorly-mannered woman then you will end up with a poorly-mannered man. Being well mannered is being nice and not offending others and I think those are good goals.
• Is it wrong to change if your man asks you to? On YouTube men have put out mean videos criticizing Black women and of course, when we are attacked we become defensive. But what if they asked in a nice way, or if it was your man who you actually loved. Would you change for him? Some will state that he should accept you exactly the way you are. But let me give you an example, suppose you have a habit of burping at the table and your man asks you to stop doing this. Would you say "no, burping at the table is who I am and you have to accept that or we are through." Yes it is trivial. To some, this whole blog is trivial, but it's this trivial thing that is hurting Black women's reputation around the world! So based on the negative consequences of these trivial actions, why not just fix the problem so that we can move on to more important things! By the way these Black women bashing videos are being pumped out by Black men you would think this is the biggest problem facing the Black community so let's quickly fix this problem so we can focus on the real issues!

Sensuality, Beauty and Dress:

• I liked her advice about how to keep nails filed and using cuticle cream. Simple things can make a big difference.
• Jackie made a post about being pleasurable to the senses (i.e., sensuous). This made me think about products for relaxed hair. They don't smell good at all. I wonder if this has had a negative effect on Black women's reputation. Do people think our relaxed hair smells bad? Natural hair products smell much better and are better for the hair. We should all make the switch because smelly hair is unacceptable.
• I liked her advice about trying to look like a goddess. Strive for that.
• I never got into aromatherapy. I thought it was bogus, new age, nonsense. Maybe I should give it another look if it is pleasurable to the senses. I do have essential oils that I use for their properties but I don't use anything for aromatherapy purposes.
• I think those people on "What Not to Wear" need to learn some vocabulary from Jackie because all they talk about is "sophisticated" and "sexy". Aren't there other things women can aim for when they choose an outfit?
• I wonder what it means to "dress Black" or "dress White?" If I wear feminine, sensuous (not sexy) clothes, that are not revealing, and not hip hop inspired, then would people say that is dressing White?
• This blog has posts about flowers. Do I like flowers? I think you spend money on them and they just die. I would prefer spending money once on fake flowers that last forever. I guess they look nice...I noticed that most of my dresses have some sort of abstract flower design on them. I guess I do like flowers :) Plus, if a man gave them to me I would feel great...maybe I love flowers!

Dating and Marriage:

• I am a smart woman and well-mannered. Men are criticizing other women for being loud and having attitudes.  So, if I become even more well-mannered I will have my pick of men! Since there are not enough men to go around, self-improvement sounds like a good idea.
• Men like women for their differences in mannerisms and appearance. But I think I would get along best if the man has values that are similar to my own.
• Do we really want androgyny? Do we want women to look and act like men and do we want men to look and act like women? I think women are most beautiful when they look and act like feminine ladies (e.g., on their wedding day in a beautiful gown). I think some men actually need to tone down the aggression and clean themselves up. That rugged, mountain man, thug, angry at the world, ill-fitting clothes look is entirely unattractive to me. Give me a clean-cut man in a three-piece suit and I swoon! I prefer men who are cute an sweet, maybe even a pretty-boy if I'm lucky :)
• I think a woman has to act like a lady in order to get a chivalrous man. I don't find chivalry demeaning, I love it! Growing up, due to feminism I thought that if something was traditionally feminine then I had to reject it! I didn't let men open doors, I carried my own heavy bags, I refused to learn how to cook, and I refused to wear dresses and skirts. Now I think the exact opposite! So we can change! 
• There is a great post on chivalry. If a man doesn't act chivalrous towards you, does he really care about you? Never curse and your man should never curse in front of you. I don't like listening to music with cursing and way too many songs have that now.
• Great quote "Get to know two things about a man--how he earns his money and how he spends it--and you have the clue to his character, for you have a searchlight that shows up the innermost recesses of his soul. You know all you need to know about his standards, his motives, his driving desires, and his real religion." Robert J. McCracken.
• I think that within the first three dates women should find out if their date believes in marriage. If he doesn't then you should stop seeing him otherwise you will be wasting your time trying to change his mind. If a man can definitively say he will never get married or does not believe in marriage, take him at his word and move on.
• I looked at her Recipe Challenge #10 and I had the vision of coming home with groceries and smiling at my husband. He asked why I was smiling and I told him I was making a special dessert. He smiled and looked excited. I think I would really like it if that happened. Seriously ladies, if you can get a guy to prefer you over other women but learning how to cook then why wouldn't you? You don't have to do it all the time and he can help you. Really think about all the expensive clothes and trips to the salon you spend money on to look attractive. Maybe you should spend that money on learning how to cook instead.

Posture and Grace: 

• There was a great post about how to sit with grace. What was amazing to me was that I was already sitting that way! I remember being at meetings where every woman in the room had their legs crossed at the knee and I was the only one sitting with my knees together and my legs crossed at the ankles. I actually worried that was sitting improperly. I don't cross my legs because sometimes my skirt rides up and it really hurts my knees when I do it. 
• The blog has a post about posture. Luckily my posture is quite good. I spent two years sitting on a balance ball instead of a desk chair. My abs are tight now, and I can stand up straight. I can check that one off my list.
• The blog has a few posts about ballet. I am not a fan of ballet...but they are graceful though.

Miscellaneous Thoughts:

• Jackie, the writer of this blog, writes very well and she is definitely well educated. I like the brief lessons and some posts are just images of art and I like those too.
• Jackie appears to be religious and I think that 100% of the blogs on this topic were by religious women too. What does that mean? In modern times are religious women more well mannered than atheists or agnostics? Are some of these rules of etiquette and deportment based on the Bible? What benefit would an agnostic get out of reading the Bible?
• I wish comments were allowed on more of the older posts.
• This blog introduced me to singer Amel Larrieux. I have never heard of her but I liked her song called "For Real. Very nice :) I think listing to all that negative hip hop has probably had a negative effect on the Black community. Hip hop is the opposite of feminine and it definitely is not sensuous or soothing. All of that foul language and derogatory language is the way some people speak all the time now.
• I really liked the post about How to Be Perfectly Miserable . 
• I think this would be a nice blog to give to her daughter. I hope she saves it.
• I admit, I have to work on my discretion. I was really embarrassed two years ago by being too open. In fact, this has been a big problem ever since high school. 
• I skipped over the recipes because I'm not in the position to deal with that right now (low funds, no oven or stove right now).

So that's the end of Part II of my review of Be Exquisite. Just reading this blog put so many ideas and questions into my head. Things I never really thought about before I decided to become an EBW. Maybe this blog will change you too :)

Modern Femininity: Thandie Newton for Uptown Magazine

Our darling Thandie Newton is on the cover of Uptown Magazine! Always an EBW!

 
The article looks interesting too about the Talented 10 in Hollywood. This refers historically to the outstanding 10 percent of the Black community who are good examples and strive fore excellence. Their incredible skills and hard work show the world what Black people are capable of so that those who come after will not have to fight as hard to get ahead. Are you one of the talented 10th?

Smiling More Often Can Improve Your Life

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Have you ever heard that Black women don't smile enough? It's a common complaint that I have heard online along with the other criticisms about us (I don't think Black men smile enough either). I admit, I don't think I smile enough. In the past I didn't smile often because I was just unhappy most of the time. I also avoided smiling out of fear that men I passed would think I was interested in them when I was not.

As part of my journey to become an Elegant Black Woman (EBW) I am going to smile more! I have been doing it for the past week, not a full toothy grin, but just a slight raise of the corners of my mouth. This looks much better than my relaxed face. In fact, I feel less tension around my eyes and forehead when I smile this way. My whole face feels somehow lighter. Plus, when I see people and they smile it is easier for me to smile back because my face is not locked in a frown. When I'm by myself and smiling I find myself laughing more and my mood is actually more positive. You get a warm, satisfied feeling when you have a slight grin. It really does have an effect on others because my coworkers have all asked me if something good happened or if I met a guy because I look so content!



Here are the main benefits of smiling that have been supported by research:

• Smiling will improve your physical attractiveness. You will look more attractive, your face will be lifted, and you will look younger. You will look like a happy, confident, successful person.
• Smiling will improve your social life. Other people will smile back at you. People are attracted to happy people and the smile on your face will tell them that you are happy.
• Smiling improves your mood. Smiling is incompatible with negative thoughts and positive thoughts tend to pop into your head when you smile. Smiling releases endorphins and serotonin that help your body and brain to feel happy. These natural chemicals will also help you to feel less stressed.
• Smiling is good for your health. Smiling boosts your immune system that protects you against illnesses. Smiling has been shown to reduce blood pressure and induce relaxation. Studies have shown that optimistic people (who tend to smile) live longer. 

This list was based on following articles that you can read for more details: Health Benefits of Smiling, The Remarkable Benefits of Smiling (cites research), 20 Benefits of Smiling, The Benefits of Smiling (psychological and social benefits), Little Known Reasons and Benefits of Smiling (interesting!), and Benefits of Smiling.


For a while I was reading jokes online so that I could tell them to my friends. I haven't done that in a while but I want to start again. I will have a laugh and I can lighten the mood in social settings. I suppose it's not ladylike to tell sex jokes, so I will just enjoy them and keep them to myself ;) Really, I need to take myself and life less seriously, it hasn't helped me at all to do otherwise!

Instantly Improve your Posture and Appearance

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One way to improve your feminine appearance is to improve your posture. Feminine women like Zoe Saldana were trained in dance and have excellent posture. When you stand up straight with your shoulders back you appear thinner, healthier, and more attractive. You will also experience less back pain and you will walk more gracefully.

The Feminine Woman has an excellent article with video demonstrations of stretches you can use to improve your posture! I have been doing the stretches for the past 3 days and they work! I had thought that I had great posture, but after doing the stretches I realized that my shoulders were rounded forward and when I stood normally my palms faced the front of my thighs. After I do the stretches my shoulders are pulled back, my back is flat, and my palms face the sides of my thighs so there is a major difference. Elegant Woman.org also has several articles about improving your posture. I'm going to do these exercises daily until my posture is permanently corrected.

I also read on another blog, possibly The Art of Being Feminine, that if you are having difficulty walking in a feminine manner, practice walking on your toes. I have done this several times over the past few days. I notice that when I walk on my toes I'm actually more graceful! I can only take smaller steps, I somehow carry and turn my head differently, and I move and pick things up in a more delicate manner. Perhaps due to my precarious body position I am unable to do things with as much force so every movement is delicate and graceful. This may be why women who wear heels appear more feminine and graceful as well. There are several videos on YouTube about how to walk in heels so please take a look at them. Once the weather clears up I am going to try wearing heels again and I will definitely wear them when I start dating again. Later on I will invest in 2 pairs of high quality heels so that I can be comfortable, but I won't become a Carrie Bradshaw!

On Elegant Woman.org there is an article called Ballet for Elegance. I admit that ballet dancers look elegant and graceful but I have negative feelings about the art because of the demand that the dancers are underweight and the foot pain (if I had a daughter I would not enroll her in ballet or gymnastics).  However, the author did make a good point that most ballet exercises involve stretching which improves flexibility. I rarely stretch but I think I will start!

I can't believe I'm saying this but...I just walked around the room with a book on my head! The truth is, it works! When you walk with a book on your head you have to walk slower and keep your head straight. If you pick anything up or turn your head you have to do it slowly and carefully. When you can walk with a book on your head you will be walking and moving gracefully! I imagine that after a while your body will remember the movements and you will always move gracefully. I'm going to practice this, some may laugh, but looking graceful is no different from wearing trendy clothes, make-up, and getting your hair done--they all make you look beautiful!

Where I Need to Improve

I have been reading the five blogs I posted about here and a few of them, like The Art of Being Feminine reminded me that I need to start this journey by taking inventory of my current ladylike qualities and areas where I need improvement. So let's start with the positive.

My Positive Qualities

• I routinely say please, thank-you, and you're welcome. I graciously thank people who have helped me or complimented me
• I have fairly good (average) manners
• I am not loud when speaking or laughing and I do not yell
• I never chew with my mouth open. If I have to answer a question with my mouth full I try to finish chewing and then hold my hand over my mouth when I speak. (I think I can avoid this by just taking smaller bites and eating more slowly)
• I never burp in public
• I keep up my appearance
• I exercise regularly, eat healthy, and have a healthy body weight
• I rarely swear (and I don't think I will have a problem stopping completely)
• I have discussions but I don't argue
• I dress nicely and like to wear dresses and feminine clothing (but it's hard to do in the winter)
• I wear make-up and jewlery
• I have good posture, sit nicely, and walk upright
• I have natural hair that I have learned to take care of and style nicely
• I am educated
• I speak well using proper grammar (from now on I will severely limit my use of slang)
• I am a great listener 
• I don't brag or boast
• I do not bully or insult people (I may have a few times to unpleasant people on YouTube though)
• I do not hope bad things happen to other people
• I care about others and want to help people
• I am not aggressive and would never even think of hitting someone
• I have goals and a plan for my life
• I am not a golddigger

My Negative Qualities 

• I don't smile enough and find it hard to hide my anger or sadness
• I complain (e.g., about the weather, not having money, being busy etc.)
• I disclose too much personal information (this has caused embarrassment recently)
• Sometimes I say bad things about my parents
• I don't socialize as much as I could out of fear of being a burden or being rejected
• I need more hobbies (hard to do on a budget though)
• I think negatively a lot more than is necessary. I let things bother me when I really don't have to and pay too much attention to negative things (e.g., YouTube videos)
• I don't think positively about some people
• Sometimes I interrupt someone I'm talking too because I really want to say something  
• I stopped wearing high heels
• I am sometimes too passive and fearful of rejection

Things I Need to Learn More About

• Party etiquette
• How to improve my walk
• How to be more attractive
• How to attract, get along with, and have a relationship with men
• How to be more graceful, poised, and elegant
• Rules of etiquette
• How to act more like a traditional feminine woman
• How to dress more modestly

As you can see, I have positive and negative traits and there are some things I can learn to improve my attractiveness :)

Reviews!!!

Now that this blog is off to a good start it's time for the learning to begin! I have found five blogs that I think I will read from top to bottom. Each week I will read parts of these blogs, write about what was interesting to me, what I thought was great, and what I thought was ridiculous. The five chosen blogs are...

Be Exquisite
The Feminine Woman
Grace and Poise
The Art of Being Feminine 
and
Elegant Woman

I chose Be Exquisite because it was the only blog I found that was by a Black woman being elegant, it has so many tips, and it was exactly what I was looking for. This blog is written by a Black woman who was taught how to be a lady by her family. She was raised to be elegant! I just wish the archives were listed on the blog because it took a while to get back to her very first post.

The Feminine Woman is a great site and I am so excited to read it! It is full of information about being feminine. I spent some time on the site yesterday and there are two articles that I must write about ASAP! I also appreciate that they use multicultural images on the site.

Grace & Poise is the site to learn about how to be a lady. It has lessons about everything you need to know about becoming a lady and actually uses photos of the Danish royal family for examples which is pretty cool!

The Art of Being Feminine is an ideal choice because it is about how to accept your femininity and be the remarkable elegant creature you were meant to be. There are MANY articles on this site so I'm sure I will learn a lot.

I chose Elegant Woman because it is just FILLED with information about how to be an elegant woman. I have read a lot of it already, but I'm going to go back and write down my thoughts about the things I read. This blog is by an Asian woman.

I think that these are good places to start.

I also had a great idea for another feature! Each week I will watch and review a movie that provides a great example of elegance in action! While I watch the movie (probably while I'm on the treadmill) I will pay close attention to the tips and to the behaviours of the chosen "elegant actress". Then I will do a review. I'm so glad I can work my love of movies into this endeavor. Plus, since I am a starving student I will watch the movie online for free! I challenge everyone to not spend a dime on learning how to be elegant because I don't plan to! I will also make sure to include many films of Elegant Black Women (EBWs). Here are some of the movies I plan to review: Dreamgirls, Centre Stage, The Black Swan, Miss Congeniality, and that Marylin Monroe movie that Madonna did an homage to in Material Girl. I plan to include some Classic films like Gone With The Wind (I'm trying not to gag), Casablanca, Bollywood films like Kama Sutra and the like, and Asian films like Memoirs of a Geisha. I might even try to tolerate some musicals (women are supposed to like them...gag).

The first movie to be reviewed will be....

The Princess Diaries

So stay tuned for that!

Coming Soon!

I gave up blogging a few years ago but it feels really great that I have started again! I just had to find something I cared about and I care about how Black women are perceived. I will also be looking for Mr. Right in the near future and I have standards so I want to meet Mr. Right's standards too. So, these are some topics that I plan to write about and do YouTube videos about:

•  Areas where I need to improve in order to be a good Elegant Black Woman (EBW)
• The negative effect hip hop has had on the femininity of Black women and the behaviour of Black men;
• Creating a lady-like appearance on a budget;
• The Books "The Rules" and "He's Just Not That Into You" and how they helped me change my ideas about dating and what men want;
• Features about EBW celebrities 
• Why natural hair may be an important part of being an EBW;
• Why Black women need to exercise and cook healthier meals;
• What I think would change if all Black women became EBWs;
• Why I think Black women need to date interracially more often.

How Will I learn to Be an Elegant Black Woman?

I started my research into becoming an Elegant Black Woman (EBW) last night. I found a bunch of articles and websites that provided hours of reading. I'll post them below and later on move them to the sidebars for future reference. I learned a lot in a short period of time and of course some of it is review and I haven't finished everything, but I will. I'll be looking for more articles and blogs related to this topic. There are even YouTube videos that I'll make a post about.

I found it really interesting that I don't recall reading the word "submission" anywhere in these articles. They talked about being demure, not saying everything that comes to your mind, letting the man lead sometimes (e.g., letting him drive), letting men feel needed, complimenting him on being masculine, and listening to people, but no where did it talk about letting men rule your life. In fact, one article actually said the modern lady is INDEPENDENT and she does not let her man, parents, or in-laws rule her life. She is in control! I think the men who are demanding submission are just controlling and want to rule their women. Don't listen to them unless you want to be a doormat to a sexist person who does not think you are capable of making any good decisions.

Articles:
How to be Feminine
How to be Feminine 101
Tips on How to Be More Femine
How to Be Feminine (wonderhowto.com)
Self-Help for how to be More Feminine
How to be a Lady
A Guide to Elegance

How to be Classy:
How to be Classy
How to be Classy and Elegant Without Money
How to be Classy
How to be Classy
25 Ways to be Classy
What Does it Mean Being a "Classy Woman"
Let's Bring Back Some Class
How to Be Classy Without Being Rich

Websites:
http://www.elegantwoman.org/ This site has so much information!
http://www.thefemininewoman.com/
http://www.empoweredtraditionalist.com/
http://theartofbeingfeminine.blogspot.com/
http://graceandpoise.wordpress.com/
http://theclassywoman.blogspot.com/
A to Z Guide to Manners and Etiquette

Good Manners:
How to Have Good Manners
What are Good Manners?
What are Good Manners? (Wisegeek)
Good Manners (kids health) yes it's for kids but it's still useful

Poise:
How to Develop Poise
Poise, Posture, and Performance
How to Improve Poise
How to Cultivate Poise
How to Improve your Poise and Posture
Self-Help Guide How to Develop Poise and Act with Grace and Style
Walking with Grace and Poise
poise: Have you Lose the Art of Natural Movement?

How to be Graceful:
How to Be Graceful
Advice and Resources on Being and Raising a Lady
How to be Graceful
How to be Graceful
How to be More Graceful
How to Look Graceful in Heels

How to be Girly:
How to Be a Girly Girl
How to be a Girly Girl
How to be Girly
How to be a Girly Girl
top 10 Ways to be Girly

It is Time for the New Elegant Black Woman

If you are a Black person in North America then you know that things are not as good as they could be. Many Black women are becoming educated and obtaining multiple degrees so that they can provide for themselves and their families. These are good women. Those women without much education education are trying their best to find happiness and fulfillment in their relationships and motherhood roles. These are good women too. But sometimes it seems that all the world can see are those women in the minority of black women who make us all look bad. You know who I'm talking about and I'm going to be a lady and not disparage them out here. I'm tired of the negative stereotypes about us!

For the past few years I have been an avid consumer of blogs, websites, and YouTube videos related to Black issues. You may have noticed that recently that YouTube has exploded with hatred against Black women! Black men who have somehow been wronged by us have gone on that site spreading hate propaganda against Black women which hurts their own mothers, sisters, and daughters! These men have taken it upon themselves to spread racism against their own women for the world to see! They post videos criticizing Black women so harshly that no one is willing to listen to them. They quote the Bible and rant that "Black women need to be submissive". Then there are the other Black men who say becoming educated and independent women hurts the Black community and that we need to lower our standards when selecting a mate. So our own men are saying that we are not good enough for them, no one wants us, and we are a lost cause (seriously, some of them are calling for a boycott of Black women...can you believe it?).

 Now the last straw came when an Ethiopian woman (Akat042001 on YouTube) decided to go on a racist rant against Black women. Her video is all over the web and garnered countless comments and response videos. Some Black gentlemen came to the defense of Black women and I love them for that. However, some Black men actually commended her racism and supported her future videos lambasting Black women! I have no idea why her YouTube account has not been deleted.

I did not start this blog to please those Black men who have rejected Black women because what would be the point of trying to please someone who doesn't want you. I definitely did not start this video because I think Akat042001 was right. I started this because I think that it's time that Black women change their image so that we able to achieve the things that we want and deserve. I am educated and I have good manners that I learned from my parents and school. Some women were not as fortunate and therefore, they do not know how to carry themselves as ladies and that seems to be the reason for the negative impression the world has of ALL Black women.

It seemed to me that something like loudness and attitude could be easily remedied by education on how to act differently instead of constant nagging and ridicule. So, instead of listening to the racists I decided to Google, etiquette, manners, elegance, and how to be a lady. I was pleasantly surprised by numerous interesting websites dedicated to these topics! I spent hours reading and learning. Yes, learning! I am not perfect either and I think we can all stand to 'up our game' because we have to compete with all other women for husbands of all ethnicities (we need to date out ladies).

If we want to attract good men (educated, employed, gentlemen) then we need to be sophisticated, elegant, ladies. If we learn how accept and exude our femininity the way we did before the Feminist movement, then we will become the desire of all men (and still have careers).  These things can be learned! Ladies, if we do these things then the reward will be the companionship of gentlemen who will adore us, protect us, marry us, and take care of their families. So follow me on this blog as I learn how to become more poised, elegant, and lady like and report back on how this has helped my dating life.