Wash and Go's for Gorgeous Natural Hair

If you have natural, un-relaxed hair, then wash and go's are a way to have gorgeous, defined, movable hair that you (and everyone else) will love to look at! It has been my go to styling method for at least 3 years. Prior learning about wash and go's, I would do braid outs without gel, I would have to re-braid my hair every night, and by the end of each day I had very little curl definition. But with my current wash and go routine I don't have to braid my hair and I can go A FULL WEEK with defined coils!

The routine can be time consuming on my Sunday wash day, but for the rest of the week I barely have to do anything with my hair. With wash and go's your hair will actually move, blow in the wind, and hang down. My hair is most defined the next day, but as the week goes on it gets bigger and fluffier and I absolutely love it! I also tend to use inexpensive products and I have never been happier with my hair!

I decided to write this because I found a new gel that works so much better for my wash and go's, my hair looks fantastic, and it is so soft. I have no desire for straight hair at all. Natural hair is gorgeous!

My Wash and Go Routine:

1. Co-wash (I usually conditioner wash) or shampoo hair: I wash one half of my head at a time while the other half is in a bun tied with an elastic. This stops my hair from getting too tangled and shrinking, After I wash one half, I put that hair in a bun and do the other half. I usually co-wash with Tresemme moisture and shampoo with Head and Shoulders 2in1.
2. Condition hair: I condition my hair for 3-5 minutes in the shower while my hair is in 2 buns. I don't deep condition outside of the shower (who has time for that?). I use Queen Helene Cholesterol for my conditioner because it's cheap and it works!
3. Detangle: In my room I get ready for the detangling process that usually takes 1 hour. I know some people detangle in the shower, but my hair is so tightly coiled it is just impossible to do that and I would run out of hot water for sure. My detangling routine:
1. Divide hair into a medium sized section. Spray with mixture of water, vegetable glycerine, and apple cider vinegar (the apple cider vinegar preserves the mixture so that it lasts for weeks and it also conditions the hair.
2. Coat the hair with Tresemme conditioner.
3. Use Tangle Teezer for thick curly hair to detangle section. This one is better than the regular versions in my opinion because the bristles don't bend.
4. Important! Squish out as much of the conditioner as possible and squeeze section with a super absorbant microfiber towel. Most gels do not mix with conditioners or leave in conditioners so you will be left with horrible clumps in your hair if you do not remove the conditioner. The only conditioners I have found that mix with gel are Cholesterol conditioners and curl activator lotions like S-Curl.
5. Twist the section to get it out of the way and then move on to the next section.
4. Shingle hair: Untwist a section. Add a lot of Eco Styler Gel to the section and shingle the hair by smoothing down tiny sections of hair to define coils (see video below about how to add gel and shingle hair. Optional: add some extra virgin olive oil to hair before applying gel to each section. This has made my hair so soft and the gel does not dry as hard.). This takes about 45 minutes. Currently I am liking Eco Styler Krystal because it defines my curls all week, despite re-moisturizing, and I don't have to re-apply the gel at all! With the Eco Styler Argon Oil I had to reapply it mid week, and Eco Styler Olive Oil had too strong a hold. I will post a video reviewing each gel below because you may have to try samples before you find the right one. This brand is really inexpensive and I can usually get a big 5 pound bucket for $11 at beauty supply stores in Canada. 
5. Dry hair: Place hair in loose ponytail and sit under a bonnet hair dryer for 40 minutes. I do the loose ponytail at the back, and then move it to the top half way through drying time. I do this because it helps my hair to dry all in the same direction rather than being scrunched and bent because of the cap. 
6. Set hair: When hair is dry, place in a modified pineapple and wrap hair with a scarf. To do a modified pineapple I start putting my hair in a pineapple, but I don't pull all the hair through, so it ends up looking like a bun. My hair is too long for a pineapple, it's mid-back length. So I don't actually wash my hair and go out, I stretch my hair overnight. In the morning I just take down my hair, shake it out, pin up the side, and I'm ready to go. Each night I just re-moisturize my hair with the glycerine mix, add S-Curl activator, and place in the pineapple bun again. I have started applying a bit of apricot kernal oil after moisturizing and it makes my hair so soft!

Here are some useful videos:

How to wash and go

How to wash and go (my texture is like this I think)

Wash and go with pink eco styler
Wash and go on long hair: Video 1 type 4 hair, Video 2.
Wash and go on 4c hair: Video3 no gel, Video 4.

Review of the different Eco Styler gels: Video 1, Video 2,

Tangle Teezer review: Video 1, unlike in the video, the Tangle Teezer just detangles my hair, it doesn't give me any curl definition at all. 

The Prep Pursuit

Hey Ladies,

Well ad you may have noticed, I haven't had time to make posts on this blog. I'm just really busy lately with work and trying to enjoy myself. I have also been reading tons of politics but I don't want to write about those things on the blog.

But I do have something for you today that could keep you learning how to be an elegant Black woman for hours! Perhaps on this blog or on YouTube, someone suggested the channel The Prep Pursuit but I never got around to checking it out. Well some of the videos showed up on my feed and they look like something you would all like. Check out a few of her videos below :)

How to make a great 1st impression

How to flirt with a gentleman

My thrift shop secrets

12 Things Every Elegant Black Woman Must Know

In upcoming blog posts I am going to review the things that I have learned about being an Elegant Black Woman (EBW) and how you can become an EBW too. This is what this blog was originally all about--my journey towards achieving my goal of becoming a high-quality woman, despite my upbringing or lineage, so that I can attract good, successful men of any race (you can read, It's Time for The New Elegant Black Woman, my original post that explains why I started this blog). I have learned so much over the years and I have changed so much. I am treated better than I was in the past so I think that this endeavor has been a success!

The last step I have to achieve is settling down and starting a family but I am hopeful that this is just around the corner. Education and starting a career interfered with my romantic opportunities unfortunately so I was not able to "have it all" while trying to become an educated career woman (sigh). But now is the time for me to date and find someone to settle down with, who is grown up enough to want the same thing.

In reviewing my old blog posts I think that I can summarize what I have learned into 10 lessons that every BW must learn in order to become an EBW (I narrowed things down from 12):

1. How to dress
2. How to wear your makeup
3. How to wear your hair
4. How to smile
5. How to speak
6. How to sit, stand, and walk
7. How to interact with others
8. How to spend your free time
9. How to date
10. How to be virtuous

***UPDATE November 11, 2016. Visit this PAGE to view the l0 lessons.***

Some might complain and ask why are all of the appearance lessons listed first? I did this because when you are trying to make changes in your life, it is better to start with small easy steps. That way you can start with some early successes that can boost your spirit and give you the momentum you need to complete more difficult tasks. It is much easier to change the way you look than it is to change the way you feel and the virtues you embody. You could shop for a day or two and totally change the way you look. People are also likely to treat you differently based on your feminine appearance so you can benefit from the positive treatment right away. First impressions matter, and we all know as BW that we are often stereotyped based on first impressions, just because we are Black. Also, when a change is new, the reasons for some things may be complicated or difficult to understand. Changing your look to appear more stereotypically feminine, so that people assume you are feminine, is not complicated to understand.

On the other hand, people may not notice your personality or behaviour change right away so you could feel disappointed by that. Lessons 11 and 12 will take much more time to learn and practice. People are accustomed to women changing the way they look, but they are less used to women totally changing how they act, speak, and respond to things. It is in this area where many modern women will object, often due to feminism (let's be real, they would object to the other lessons as well). Also, unfortunately many people associate being well mannered, soft, and virtuous with being White and some may actually oppose these changes for BW. They will exclaim "just be yourself and do what's natural". The problem is that being ourselves and being natural has not been helping many of us, and while feminine behaviour is rarely questioned in other women, it is both expected and discouraged for BW at the same time! When we don't act feminine we are compared to non-Black women and told we are inferior, but when we act feminine we are accused of being self-hating and trying to be something we are not! My choice is to be feminine and ignore that haters because being feminine leads to better treatment by people who matter in my life. 

Furthermore, what is natural? Most of us learn how to act by observing others starting with our parents, siblings, teachers, classmates, and eventually people in the media. A child will observe these people and will often act in the same way. But what if a Black girl's role models are all highly masculine acting, aggressive, angry, depressed, uneducated, or poorly mannered? Then that girl may act the same way! Due to this negative influence, many BW will have to re-learn how to be feminine and undo the unhelpful behaviours they learned in the past. Self-improvement and remedial learning is necessary for anyone who didn't get the best training when they were younger. There is nothing wrong with self-improvement and striving to improve your life because nobody is perfect!. By leaning these 12 lessons you will feel better about yourself and other people will feel better about you! Stay tuned :)

The Importance of Elegant Black Women Images

After I removed the images from my blog I started searching royalty-free stock images of elegant Black women (EBWs). The search was hard! There are some free stock-photo sites, many of the images were not good, and most were of White women. This is because the sites are probably White owned, the photographers are mostly White, and the models are mostly White. It is what it is (sigh). Photographers and models should be paid for their work and I don't want to take advantage of them. But while looking for images I felt so left out and kept asking myself 'why aren't there more images for us'?

It is so important that Black women and girls can see images of themselves that defy racial stereotypes so that they feel free to break those stereotypes. It really is mind control! We are not all blessed with imagination, and many of us don't question why we act a certain way, or if we could be different. Sometimes just the suggestion of a different path can inspire a flurry of ideas and possibilities for someone. This is especially important for BW because, due to our history, we have been bombarded with pessimism, criticism, and legalized restrictions on what we could and could not do. Showing non-stereotypical possibilities opens minds and could lead BW and girls to defy the stereotypes. Just think back to your childhood. Do you remember ever thinking that you could not be successful, beautiful, cherished, adored, or admired because you rarely saw BW portrayed with these qualities? Only seeing White women with these traits has an impact.

So what can we do to change this? We have to seek out positive representations and support them, including support with our dollars. Selling, publishing, and buying now is easier than ever! We can produce images to show the world how we want to be represented. There are already creative people making Black dolls with Afrocentric features and natural hair, there are now many BW on TV and in movies too. I have seen some people self-publishing books and selling them, including children's books. These items can be advertised on blogs and by using social media. They can be sold using online marketplaces like Amazon, Etsy, and many others.

Well, in the process of finding images I came across some avatar makers! Some of them are actually girls games (like paper dolls) but you dress up your "doll" online and then download the images! It was quite fun and I must have made 20 images lol! Now this may seem childish, but think about all of the logos, product covers, clothing, commercials, and art that have graphic images of non-Black people on them. These were created by adult graphic designers who make a living designing these things. I'm no graphic designer, but I think I can make some simple things to decorate my blog or post for other's use. I plan to use these avatar makers when I do posts about feminine clothing as well as using Polyvore (Polyvore allows you to create fashion collages and you can post the widget on your blog. The items in the widget will show the price and brand and link to where you can purchase the product. As far as I know it's legal). Simple things like making your own decorations, book covers, wall decorations, etc. can help you to surround yourself with EBW images rather than images of other women. I'm going to find out about some of these options and share them with you as I go along. There is no reason why BW need to beg big companies to make these things for us when we can make or find them ourselves and sell to others. What we make will probably be more affordable and more to our liking anyway.

P.S. I also learned something fantastic that may be useful to bloggers. You can now use many of the images from Getty Images for free on your blog if you use their posting widget to give credit and link to their site! So I will be able to post images of EBWs all over this blog and it will be legal! Also to see a large collection of EBW images be sure to visit my Tumblr site because it's amazing!





Avatar Makers (pretty fun!): The first thing you should do with any of the games is check if they have brown skin and the hair options you want because many don't have brown skin tones.Take a look at the FAQ pages because it may be possible to use the image you create commercially if you give credit to the artist.

• Doll Divine: My favorites are: Deluxe pin up maker, perfect dress, pin up maker, and fashion creator.
• Rinmaru Games Dress Up Games: my favorites are  50s fashion dress up game, Fashion creator v2, Shougou manga avatar creator, Ancient Greek costume creator, and Indian traditional costume creator.
• Avatarmaker.com
• Doppelme

Stock Photos:

• Getty Images
• Public domain archive
• Death to the stock photo
• Free images.com
• Pexels.com
• Pixabay
• Picjumbo
• Morguefile
• Stokpic.com
• Gratisography
• Jeshoots
• Freestockphotos.biz
• Clipartkid
• Great African American stock images from Shutterstock (they aren't free)
• 123RF African American images (they aren't free but they are really good)

DIY Fashion Collages:

• Polyvore
• My Polyvore

New EBW YouTube Videos :)

I just made some videos for YouTube. These are just image videos because enough of my thoughts are already on this blog. I think I'll turn all of my photo posts into videos. It wasn't hard at all. I used a free program called Ezvid and then added annotations using YouTube. I think that the difference between these women and the women we see in the media will be very striking. These women look highly desirable, approachable, friendly, kind, and like high quality women. These are my fashion and beauty role models.  I hope you enjoy these :)

The EBW Look

I LOVE this photo! This is the image I have in my my mind when I imagine EBWs. There is nothing unfeminine about Gabrielle Union, Sanaa Lathan, and Ciara in this photo. It doesn't matter what Ciara has done in music videos or what she has worn in the past because we can all improve ourselves and change if we want to. They all look happy and like nice women instead of looking hard, angry, mean, overly sexy and unfeminine. It would be great if they all had natural hair too but that's too much to ask for in Hollywood right now. They all look very healthy like they eat sensibly and exercise. Why are some people so opposed to this look and demeanor?

I'm sure there are some people who would look at this and say they are "acting White" yet they would never say that about any other non-Black women dressed and looking the exact same way! Why are people trying to create and maintain a Black beauty and behaviour standard that is so different from this? Are those people really helpful and keeping your best interests in mind or are they harmful to you as a Black woman? Anyone who says that these women are not beautiful and less than other women is a liar, blind, or just being racist because any honest and non-disturbed person can see that they are the opposite of unattractive. There is no need to hate your skin or your hair ladies because Black can be and often is beautiful!

UPDATE
Look at this sad sight...

Notice how it says "Meet your new role models"! This is what a Black publication offers to us as role models!? Catty, materialistic, opportunist, goldigging, scandalous, fake, tattooed, no self-respect, exposing way too much skin, overly sexy, attention seeking, probably uneducated, reality television stars! I do not watch these shows and these are not my role models! In fact, celebrities are only ever my role models physically (to an extent) because they do not lead the type of life I want. But because these women display their so-called "real lives", based on what I have heard, they are definitely not my lifestyle or behaviour role models. This is what Black women have to deal with so no wonder people think we are all like this...sad.





I was SHOCKED to see that someone at Clutch seems to agree with me in these articles: Ladies First and If these are our new role models then we are in serious trouble.

Dorothy Dandridge, the Quintessential Elegant Black Woman

I have never actually seen one of Dorothy Dandridge's performances but I have watched the HBO docudrama, "Introducing Dorothy Dandridge" twice. It stars Halle Berry and I believe she won an award for her performance. Fortunately, I found some video tributes on YouTube! This woman is beautiful, graceful, refined, stylish, super feminine, delicate, elegant of course, and highly talented! Ladies, this is the quintessential EBW!

Blog Review: Be Exquisite - Part 1

This is Part 1 of my review of the beautiful and elegant Be Exquisite blog! I started the review from page 26 to page 16. Part 1 of this review will be about the best advice and must read posts. Part 2 will be about the many thoughts and questions that popped into my head while reading her blog (that are likely to inspire future posts). I will review the rest of the blog in a future post.

I really like this blog! I think it's quite unique because I was only able to find four other blogs that discuss femininity and elegance in a similar way and this is the only one by an Elegant Black Woman (EBW). I love that the blog is a mix of quotes, advice, and examples of feminine elegance. Be Exquisite is filled with quotes, proverbs, and dictionary definitions and I enjoyed all of them. I think that people who use such quotes sound more credible because how can you really argue with a quote or ancient proverb? This is one to remember: "You define yourself with your deeds, words, and actions. Others define you with their perception of your deeds, words, and actions." I have learned a lot so far from reading and had to look up the definitions of orisha, deportment, and carriage. She also mentioned some elegant Black women like The Supremes, Diana Ross, Ertha Kitt, Naiomi Sims. Dorothy Dandridge, and Dianne Carrol. It's truly amazing that her family spent the time to teach her these things because that was a lot of quality time well spent! I hope she saves her blog posts to give to her own daughter or a female relative. I think that any woman who wants to improve her femininity, grace, manners, and deportment will benefit greatly from reading Be Exquisite!

Best Advice:

• Learn about the world because it makes you interesting and gives you something to talk about.
• Think about who you keep company with because they may actually be making your life worse and making you look bad.
• I liked the idea of venerating your ancestors because I don't think people do this anymore.
• Wear clothing styles and accessories that men do not. That will emphasize your femininity.
• Be sensual! Sensuality is about being pleasurable to the senses. You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar and negativity is not pleasing to the ears. I think that some men complain about loud women because they are not pleasurable to the ear. We need to speak in a more sensual manner to get what we want.
• I love the explanation that "attractive outfits which accentuate the female form are feminine...Attractive outfits which reveal the female form are sexy". The next time I buy clothing it will all be feminine!
• Seamless boyshorts are the best underwear because they hold everything in and they don't show.
• "By your own words, deeds, and actions you are continuously teaching others how to treat you."
• Respect yourself. "Let your words, deeds, and actions, place you in the best light. Refuse anything that is not advantageous to you".
• Try to listen to your intuition. I'm not even sure how to use this because many women like me have been taught that thinking with our heads through reason is the only way to do things.
•  "There are times when silence has the loudest voice", Leroy Brownlow. "Just because something is true doesn't mean you have to say it," Katherine Triandafilou.
• If someone compliments you say "Thank you" smile and maybe tell them "It was nice of you to say that" brilliant!

Must Read Posts:

• Conversation 101
• Self-Respect
• How to Sit With Grace
• Maintain Good Posture
• Sensuality
• Marriage
• Compliments
• Dressing with Self-Respect
• Acts of Chivalry
• Dare to be Unique
• How to be Perfectly Miserable
• Table Manners
• At the Table