I think cursing is very unladylike and I hope that Black women decide to hold themselves to a higher standard. The feminist quoted in this post seems to think it's a good thing that women are cursing more just because men do it. That is what I don't like about feminism. I support equal rights and protection of women but I don't support the idea that we should do whatever men do, as though what they do is better or more correct. Beware of this type of thinking. Sometimes when Black women take on this thinking their behaviours are judged more negatively than the White women who endorse it! It's not fair that we have to be twice as good to be considered equal but that's sometimes the way it is. Black women have to act more feminine than White women to be considered equally feminine (it's not fair I know, but if you want to be considered feminine you have to really express it).
I think women should not swear, men should not swear in our presence, and men should swear less. Men are not carrying themselves like gentlemen and women are not carrying themselves like proper ladies. Reality tv is garbage and I can see why it's having a negative effect on girls. They think that drama is a common thing in people's lives and the behaviour is normal.
This inspired me to make a list of the masculine things that I now reject because I felt some unhealthy pressure to like or want to do these things. Think about this, no one would criticize a man for trying to be as masculine as possible and taking up masculine pursuits. But if a woman tries to be as feminine as possible and chooses feminine pursuits some people will actually look down on that! Now I don't think that is being supportive of women!
- I am not interested in watching or participating in aggressive sports like boxing, mixed martial arts, football, or hockey. I have never been interested in sports and I'm not ashamed of that. I may decide to play volleyball, tennis, or golf to be active and social. Once I start playing I may watch those sports for instructional purposes. I will not pay attention to or admire women who play aggressive sports in order to "support the feminist cause".
- I will not try to become muscular. I used to buy fitness magazines that showed fitness competitors and articles about weight training and weight loss. These women were very muscular and I tried to look like them. I thought that it would protect me from others. That was unhealthy and must have come from some insecurity or fear that made me feel vulnerable. I will now exercise to look feminine.
- If a man tries to protect me or do me a favor I will NEVER say no (unless it puts me in danger). I will let them open doors, walk me to my car, carry large packages, and prevent me from being harmed. They like to do this and it benefits me if they do, so why fight it?
- I will not speak like an unrefined man. This means I will not curse or speak in a vulgar manner to anyone. My speech will be intelligent and pleasant not ugly or boorish. I will speak in an appropriate tone, not speak loudly in public or air my dirty laundry in public, and I will never argue in public (and I will maintain my poise when I have disagreements in private).
- I will not wear masculine clothing even if designers start a trend. I am not interested in boyfriend jackets, pant suits, or androgynous attire. I will always wear clothes that look nothing like men's clothes.
- I will not go without make-up, long hair, or styled hair. I will make myself look attractive. I will not let any feminist ideas convince me that trying to look good is vain, it makes me a slave to male desires, or that I should not strive for attainable, feminine, (Black) beauty ideals. Not doing this is detrimental to Black women. We need to try to look better than other women so that we can be deemed equal (unfair I know but that seems to be the only way). Looking like a man, sloppy, or unattractive is not going to help me or the progress of women. We need the world to accept that women can be beautiful, intelligent, hardworking, and capable at the same time.
- I will not become a workaholic and neglect family so that I can rise to the top. For me, once I finish my education and enter my field, I will be at the top. I will work for an organization and eventually for myself, but I am not in competition with anyone. I will not sacrifice having a family for awards, fame, or to show off to others. I am not in business or a high stakes field that is full of competition so I will only work as much as I need to (glad I chose a non-competitive field).
- I will not drink heavily or smoke and I will leave that to the men. These things are unhealthy and I would prefer a man who didn't do these things either. I will not let other women or men entice me to drink heavily or smoke.
- I will let men do the "masculine" household tasks. I'll let them shovel snow, mow the lawn, fix the car, change light bulbs, make home repairs etc. They like these things and I don't so they can do them. I'll do more of the feminine household things (but I expect a man to clean up after himself and cook for himself when I can't. He can't be a total dependent slob lol).
- I will let men be men when it comes to dating. I will not be the pursuer or the aggressive one. I don't care what feminists say about being empowered and chasing a man, being sexually liberated (i.e., promiscuous), or deciding to have a child on my own. I don't think these things will be beneficial to me.