Saturday, February 25, 2012

Femininity Blogs and Sex and the City

Well I have been blogging up a storm because I have had so many thoughts running through my mind recently. I'm always just reading something online, minding my own business, when an idea is triggered and I just have to write it all down! In the process of writing down my own ideas, I do Google searches for related information. After I read that information that further alters my ideas, I go back and edit, or I add more. Sometimes that even inspires another blog post. Oh and reading comments on this blog or other blogs do that too. Articles, news events, videos...they all trigger this writing storm.

Now I am also realizing that there are blogs out there that are similar to mine and about this interest in modern/traditional femininity that I didn't know about I want to read them. I need to get back to learning more about feminine things. One blog I need to read thoroughly is The Proper Lady. It will take me a while because it looks like there is a lot of information there for sure. I also need to follow links more so that I know about all these sites so I can keep up with their posts and add them to the blog roll. It's so funny that I have been a woman for a at least a decade but I barely knew anything about being one lol! I also have to visit the blogs of people who follow me and start writing more comments on blogs (I apologize if it seemed rude that I was not visiting you).

On to the next subject. I saw a photo of Sex and the City on a blog and it reminded me about how much I've changed and the things I've learned. Five years ago I thought that men would prefer Samantha over the other women and I was shocked when a survey revealed they preferred Charlotte! I thought they would like Samantha because she was so sexually adventurous. I would have been less surprised if they picked Carrie because she was feminine but not as wild as Samantha. I looked at Charlotte and thought she was too old fashioned, boring, girly girl, and conservative and did not understand why a man would prefer her. Now I completely understand. Men don't want to marry or have a real relationship with a promiscuous woman. They want someone respectable in conduct and appearance. Carrie was also quite promiscuous (I'm not interested in promiscuous men either for the record). There was this strong feminist attitude that it was empowering to have sex with many partners and an anything goes attitude about sex that I actually think is detrimental to women. The basic premise of the show was that you have to date and sleep around a lot to find Mr. Right. Five to ten partners might help you figure out what you like in bed but is 60 necessary??? I think Miranda had around that number or even higher. Is it empowering to have multiple abortions or STDs???

The show was often applauded for it's fashion. Carrie and Samantha dressed in a very sexy manner and Charlotte did not. She was very feminine, respectable, and actually had an upper class look. Miranda did not dress in a sexy manner either but something about her was quite masculine and that may have turned men off too. I don't remember her wardrobe so it must have been pretty boring. I was never a fan of Carrie's wardrobe because it was just too odd for me. She would often wear weird high fashion clothes that I have never liked. I know sometimes she wore more "normal" women's clothes, but it was the weird stuff that got all the attention in the media (e.g., that hat she wore with her wedding dress in the movie was hideous!!!). So I think I preferred Samantha's wardrobe at the time because it wasn't as weird as Carrie's but not as old fashioned as Charlotte's. Well, things have changed and now I prefer Charlotte's wardrobe and the way she acted. I think one reason I didn't like her was because she made weird faces sometimes lol :)

Unlike many women, I could rarely relate to the women on Sex and the City because I was an intellectual "give back to the community" type and they were not. They were socialites and probably popular in school but I was a nerd. They also had sex way too quickly with way too many men.  I think that there were some things about the show that bothered me. For instance, Miranda was a lawyer and she went for a bar tender who is not on her level in terms of educational or career achievement. Charlotte went for a man who was not on her level physically reinforcing the idea that women shouldn't care about men's looks yet we have to look attractive for them. Carrie kept going back to a man who hurt her over and over like a dependent woman with no self-respect. Last of all Samantha was totally obsessed with sex and chose to never settle down sending the message that women can be fulfilled by casual sex, friends, and their careers alone. It's harsh but those were things that annoyed me about the show. I guess it's good for drama, controversy, and water cooler talk though. I also thought that Big was a jerk and I would have left him and never looked back. That guy Charlotte was with was gross and Miranda's husband didn't do anything for me either. For a show meant for women I'm not sure why they couldn't give us more eye candy! Well that Smith guy was hot but that relationship was not what I would want anyway because they didn't want to get married. A lot of the time they chose guys who I would never go for as an adult woman (I made some poor choices in my earlier years but my standards are much higher now). Also, they were all White and had no visible minority friends. I usually boycott such shows (e.g., Friends). I did for a while but I watched it in syndication because it was always on!

The way Carrie spent so much money on shoes was really disgusting to me. I am not that materialistic, I don't care about designer clothes, and I won't fall for their money-sucking racket. Every season designers decide what's in and what's out and there is pressure on women to abandon their old clothes (even if they are just a few months old) and buy new things instead of using their money for more important things (e.g., education, buying property, investments etc.). Then the designers (mostly men) and fashion magazines show their weird high fashion, androgynous, or odd clothes on the runway and in magazines being worn by emaciated models that straight men do not find attractive (this makes some women starve themselves to look like these models). Women feel pressure to wear this clothing that is often unfeminine and unflattering (e.g., Lady Gaga is a mess). They also give this clothing away to rich celebrities for free who are photographed wearing the clothes that the poor masses are pressured to purchase at full price. Every season the cycle repeats and I am not falling for that racket! I am a die-hard thrift shopper and I don't care about what's in or what's out anymore. So in many ways I am not a Sex and the City woman...but I'd love to dress like Charlotte ;)


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  3. LOL The men chose Charlotte cause she was the best looking of the 4. It wouldnt have mattered what character Kristin Davis played nor her wardrobe and out of those 4, she wouldve been chosen by men.