Asian Women Acting Masculine, Hard, and Ghetto Part II

I found this interesting Tumblr Site about B-Gyaru (sorry about the title). I previously wrote about B-gyaru in my posts, B-Lifestyle in Japan and Asian Women Acting Hard, Masculine, and Ghetto in Music Videos. Some may think this looks cute but I don't. I think you should also know that the most popular wearers of this style are STRIPPERS! Okay, some are go-go dancers, but you can tell from the site that they sometimes wear barely any clothes, many work at clubs, and they look very over sexed. They look hard and trashy in my opinion and you know this is not a respectable way to dress. I mean it's not all horrible but....just look at it and decide for yourself. Compare that site with one for cute, feminine Gyaru gals at Site 1, Site 2, Site 3, Site 4, Site 5 (it's a very young look I know) and you'll notice the B gyaru look is harder and more sexual and vulgar!

Both looks are very extreme, way too extreme for professional women or students, and Gyaru is way too much for an adult woman. But I just wonder, if someone were to dress in one of these costumes who would be perceived as a sex object who lives a rough life, hard, and trashy versus cute, sweet, endearing, and harmless? I think in a way they are showing two extremes of femininity, the mature, sexually aggressive, and skin bearing type of femininity versus the girlish, innocent, sweet and frilly type of femininity. Its "Bad girl" versus "Good girl". You know I prefer the Good girl look and most parents of young girls would. Unfortunately I think many women, especially Black women, are forced and pressured into the Bad girl, mature, sexually aggressive, and skin bearing type of femininity or into hiding their femininity by adopting masculine styles. There needs to be more balance and until then there will be opposition to both types of femininity. If the Bad girl look was so great women would not be complaining that they are treated as sexual objects, assumed to be promiscuous, assumed to have low morals, passed over for more conservative girls, and disrespected. If the good girl look was accepted then people would not call Black women "sellouts", "traitors to women", or infantalized and immature for choosing a more ultra feminine look.

You won't believe this video. Yes, Caribbean women haven't always portrayed the best image either. Even the women in the video recognize that they are trying to portray "strong" women and their dancing is overly sexual. All Asian women don't want to be delicate flowers as you can see ;)


Lol Latinos are not immune as you can see on this Chola Gal Tumblr site ;) Seriously this is so crazy they really know how to do that look! (OMG When I was in high school I used to wear dark liner and light lipstick...I was copying Chola style!).

This just makes you think that all it is is clothes, make-up, dance/music, and an attitude that can be adopted by anyone. It isn't genetic. It's just that somehow, due to fate, some people adopted a certain style and demeanor while others chose something different. So just because you were born in a certain country or with skin of a certain colour it does not mean you MUST adopt the stereotypical/most popular style of that culture. It's not in your genes, it's just a matter of preference. You can adopt any style you want.

BUT if that style brings you nothing but grief you will have to decide if it's actually worth it since it really is just clothes, make-up, dance etc. To me, none of those things are worth my future marriage, friends, or job so it wouldn't be the end of the world to me if I had to stop doing these things or keep them behind clothed doors. They are not more important to me than my partner, family, friends, education or job. They don't make me me.

One last thing is that while some may find these sites and videos cute and use them as confirmation that your style is harmless fun, please consider who these people are and who is in the most support of these styles. Are they like you? Do they have the same goals and lead the same lifestyle you do? If your style is mostly worn by strippers, rappers, and criminals, and you want to be a banker, teacher, or doctor then you are emulating the wrong people and it could prevent you from achieving your goals. You do not know why these people have adopted these styles! For all you know it could be because their dancing job requires it, they are criminals or part of the underclass (e.g., in a gang), wacky musicians or artists who don't have to follow mainstream rules of conduct, they are rebelling against their parents or society (and will eventually grow out of it), they have no desires to achieve anything and are just surviving, or it's just something fun they do for the weekend. Many adopt the gangbanger style as a form of rebellion because they have no interest in leading a mainstream, "normal" life and don't need to be accepted by anyone (e.g., mainstream employers, teachers, family, banks, customers etc.). So choose wisely :)

If I Were a Poor Black Woman: If I Were a Poor Black Kid Response

Most of you have probably heard or read about the Forbes editorial called "If I Were a Poor Black Kid" written by Gene Marks, a middle-aged White man. It was about his list of things he would do to get out of poverty, including buying an inexpensive computer, using internet resources, making good grades your number one priority, trying to get a private school scholarship etc. Okay, please don't send me death threats...but when I first read it I thought it was a good article with great advice! I thought to myself, if I had those resources growing up I would have done even better in school! Well, there has been TONS of negative feedback about the article. It seemed almost unanimous that people thought the guy was out of touch. I guess that means I'm out of touch too. The feedback made me realize that I can't relate to African Americans in many ways, especially poor African Americans. The first step is admitting it right?

My parents grew up poor in the Caribbean (worse than American poor in some ways) and then came to Canada. They both obtained university degrees (my mother has 2). They were middle class. They always pressured me to do well in school and acted like anything less than an A wasn't good enough (that hurt my feelings at the time but I guess it was for the best). So I worked as hard as I could in school, got an undergraduate degree, master's, and now I'm almost finished my doctorate. So when I read Mr. Marks' editorial I thought about all the ways his advice fits with what I was told in the past what I think would have helped me. A few years ago I actually tried to gather online resources that would be useful for the Black community, so even then I thought using the internet and technology was a great idea that could help us.

I am middle class and I like middle class people and their values. I think Black people make up only 2% of Canada's population, most of us are from the Caribbean (some from Africa), none of our ancestors were enslaved here, and there was no Jim Crow. All the people I know, went to school with, and will work with in the future probably think like Marks too. I think I might get along better with him than many of the people commenting on his post. So what does that mean? Well I think that negative stereotypes about Black women affect all Black women, no matter where they are from, or what class they are in. Because we are a minority group outside of the Caribbean and Africa, we will be categorized as an "other" and the majority will think we are all the same (i.e., they will expect most Black women to be loud, obnoxious, promiscuous, obese, etc. before they even meet us). So that means all Black women need to work on the image of Black women. But it also means that I am giving advice from my personal experience that may be quite different from African American women or women who are poor. Yes, I've read several books about African American history, but that's not the same thing now is it? Also, I'm not planning on joining any community groups or trying to change the system either because I have to focus on my own life right now (just like most people).

Reading the negative feedback made me really notice how much anger and defensiveness there is in some African American people! When I was reading AA history I became angry too and blogs and videos maintained the fire. I became angry about racism and discrimination that holds Black people back even though (despite a struggle) I have succeed at my educational and career goals. I was mad about slavery and blamed all White people even though no one alive today participated in slavery, especially the people in Canada. Online there was so much anger, self-defeating talk, competitiveness, sexism, and extreme negativity! So for a while I stopped reading, commenting, or thinking about Black issues to get away from the negativity. I went back to dating interracially and not limiting my entertainment to Black culture. I just like what I like now and try to look for the good in things rather than rejecting things entirely. I stopped being an angry Black women who didn't have much to personally be angry about. I finally came back to start this blog after seeing that YouTube video by that Ethiopian woman that assaulted the image of Black women. Her negativity made me want to do something positive, in my own way, with my limited student budget, that might help on an individual level (just as Mark's thought his editorial could help on an individual level).

So, am I much different from him? I read things and blog about it. I find things that I like and incorporate them into my life and I share that with everyone. I give suggestions. But I know and acknowledge that many women won't have access to the internet or this blog, and won't have the means to buy new clothes or make-up. But I do provide online resources that they obviously have access to if they are reading this blog (the same thing Marks was probably assuming). People complained that little kids would never read Forbes...but other adults obviously have and have spread it all around the internet. Maybe they could give the article to their kids and see if they are actually overwhelmed by it or it they want to try some of his suggestions. At least maybe they will visit the websites he suggested. If you are not a poor Black kid, how do you know they would reject everything he said? If not a poor Black kid, maybe a middle or working class kid of any ethnicity might like it. In the end though, it was just an editorial, one page of suggestions from one man...is it really such a big deal? What advice would you give to a poor Black kid?

Japanese Kawaii Girls are Experts on Cuteness!

This video explains Lolita fashion culture. I tried to find someone Japanese but none of those videos were in English.

"Kawaii" is a Japanese word meaning "cute". In one of my YouTube searches about how to be cute I came across videos by young women about how to look kawaii! Let me tell you, these ladies know how to do it! They wear cute makeup that accentuates their eyes, circle contact lenses to make their irises larger (I heard these are dangerous though), false eyelashes, pink make-up, adorable doll-like hair, and cute, girlie clothes. Here are some sample videos: Video 1, Video 2, Video 3. I also found some videos by young Black ladies who are also kawaii: Video 1, Video 2, Video 3.
These young women are undeniably cute. I know that this is a young look, but I thought there were a few things I could incorporate into my look. I recently bought some pink eyeshadow and lipstick which also fits with the Barbie trend. I like the lipstick but wearing it with the eyeshadow was too much for me so I will only wear them separately. I also did something rash although I had been considering it for a while...I gave myself bangs! Unfortunately, kawaii style bangs don't look so great with my natural curls and I ended up looking like I had an 80s perm! Fortunately I did not cut the hair too short so it actually looks cute when I pin it to the side. So as a lesson to my natural sisters, just smooth out the front of your hair and pin it to the side if you want to get a similar look or you could curl your bangs. It was very hard for me to find images of Black women with a cutesy look and straight bangs but Elise Neal below comes close as does Thandie Newton. I think we try too much to look sexy and not enough of us try to act and look cute. Why? Can we only look sexy or hard? These are some videos of Black women with something similar to the kawaii look: Springtime Barbie Inspired Tutorial. 

There is one thing about the kawaii girls that I find absolutely charming. They have poses you can see at Asian Poses.com! These are poses that they use in photos that make them appear way cuter than the average girl. The website even has people of different ethnicities and even men doing the poses (video of young Black woman doing 28 poses). Using some of them will make your photos adorable, but I'm not sure if they pose this way when they aren't being photographed :)

Articles about how to be cute:

How to Act Cute in Front of Guys
How to Look Cute for a Guy