Sunday, February 13, 2011

It is Time for the New Elegant Black Woman

If you are a Black person in North America then you know that things are not as good as they could be. Many Black women are becoming educated and obtaining multiple degrees so that they can provide for themselves and their families. These are good women. Those women without much education education are trying their best to find happiness and fulfillment in their relationships and motherhood roles. These are good women too. But sometimes it seems that all the world can see are those women in the minority of black women who make us all look bad. You know who I'm talking about and I'm going to be a lady and not disparage them out here. I'm tired of the negative stereotypes about us!

For the past few years I have been an avid consumer of blogs, websites, and YouTube videos related to Black issues. You may have noticed that recently that YouTube has exploded with hatred against Black women! Black men who have somehow been wronged by us have gone on that site spreading hate propaganda against Black women which hurts their own mothers, sisters, and daughters! These men have taken it upon themselves to spread racism against their own women for the world to see! They post videos criticizing Black women so harshly that no one is willing to listen to them. They quote the Bible and rant that "Black women need to be submissive". Then there are the other Black men who say becoming educated and independent women hurts the Black community and that we need to lower our standards when selecting a mate. So our own men are saying that we are not good enough for them, no one wants us, and we are a lost cause (seriously, some of them are calling for a boycott of Black women...can you believe it?).

 Now the last straw came when an Ethiopian woman (Akat042001 on YouTube) decided to go on a racist rant against Black women. Her video is all over the web and garnered countless comments and response videos. Some Black gentlemen came to the defense of Black women and I love them for that. However, some Black men actually commended her racism and supported her future videos lambasting Black women! I have no idea why her YouTube account has not been deleted.

I did not start this blog to please those Black men who have rejected Black women because what would be the point of trying to please someone who doesn't want you. I definitely did not start this video because I think Akat042001 was right. I started this because I think that it's time that Black women change their image so that we able to achieve the things that we want and deserve. I am educated and I have good manners that I learned from my parents and school. Some women were not as fortunate and therefore, they do not know how to carry themselves as ladies and that seems to be the reason for the negative impression the world has of ALL Black women.

It seemed to me that something like loudness and attitude could be easily remedied by education on how to act differently instead of constant nagging and ridicule. So, instead of listening to the racists I decided to Google, etiquette, manners, elegance, and how to be a lady. I was pleasantly surprised by numerous interesting websites dedicated to these topics! I spent hours reading and learning. Yes, learning! I am not perfect either and I think we can all stand to 'up our game' because we have to compete with all other women for husbands of all ethnicities (we need to date out ladies).

If we want to attract good men (educated, employed, gentlemen) then we need to be sophisticated, elegant, ladies. If we learn how accept and exude our femininity the way we did before the Feminist movement, then we will become the desire of all men (and still have careers).  These things can be learned! Ladies, if we do these things then the reward will be the companionship of gentlemen who will adore us, protect us, marry us, and take care of their families. So follow me on this blog as I learn how to become more poised, elegant, and lady like and report back on how this has helped my dating life.


  1. I am so happy I found your blog! I use to wonder why men treated women from other races different than the way they would treat a black woman. I grow up with my grandmother and she was one of those strong black woman who was forced to take care of 8 kids all by herself after her husband died. She would teach us to be independent because she was alone for so long she forgot what it was like to be a woman.
    I use to describe myself as independent and strong but it obviously worked against me when it came to relationships. In my country there are a lot of Indian women who are so feminine and growing up I was teased for trying to be like them. I always admired these women because in my family there were no feminine women to look up to. Eventually i decided to ignore everyone and started being more feminine. Now men are much nicer to me and men of other races find me attractive. They admire my femininity and they want to protect me and take care of me. My quality of life improved a lot and I finally found a really nice guy who enjoys taking care of me and spoiling me. At work my co-workers are jealous of me because I have a wealthy fiance and they can't even get a date. I try to help them but they won't listen, well, at least not yet. But overall, I'm a much happier person.

  2. Thank you so much for your visit Anonymous :) That was an inspiring story. There are benefits to not hiding our femininity and it feels great to be protected and cared for by others :)