The EBW Look

I LOVE this photo! This is the image I have in my my mind when I imagine EBWs. There is nothing unfeminine about Gabrielle Union, Sanaa Lathan, and Ciara in this photo. It doesn't matter what Ciara has done in music videos or what she has worn in the past because we can all improve ourselves and change if we want to. They all look happy and like nice women instead of looking hard, angry, mean, overly sexy and unfeminine. It would be great if they all had natural hair too but that's too much to ask for in Hollywood right now. They all look very healthy like they eat sensibly and exercise. Why are some people so opposed to this look and demeanor?

I'm sure there are some people who would look at this and say they are "acting White" yet they would never say that about any other non-Black women dressed and looking the exact same way! Why are people trying to create and maintain a Black beauty and behaviour standard that is so different from this? Are those people really helpful and keeping your best interests in mind or are they harmful to you as a Black woman? Anyone who says that these women are not beautiful and less than other women is a liar, blind, or just being racist because any honest and non-disturbed person can see that they are the opposite of unattractive. There is no need to hate your skin or your hair ladies because Black can be and often is beautiful!

UPDATE
Look at this sad sight...

Notice how it says "Meet your new role models"! This is what a Black publication offers to us as role models!? Catty, materialistic, opportunist, goldigging, scandalous, fake, tattooed, no self-respect, exposing way too much skin, overly sexy, attention seeking, probably uneducated, reality television stars! I do not watch these shows and these are not my role models! In fact, celebrities are only ever my role models physically (to an extent) because they do not lead the type of life I want. But because these women display their so-called "real lives", based on what I have heard, they are definitely not my lifestyle or behaviour role models. This is what Black women have to deal with so no wonder people think we are all like this...sad.





I was SHOCKED to see that someone at Clutch seems to agree with me in these articles: Ladies First and If these are our new role models then we are in serious trouble.

Watching Films with Classical Elegant Women

I recently read a post on The Proper Lady called The Elegant and Proper Ladies of Jane Austen (great post!). In the past I'm not sure if I ever watched a film based on Jane Austin's books and I don't think I've read one of her books. I think I might have one or two of her books somewhere. I have seen some period films (Valmont is one of my favorites) and I suppose, if you pay attention, they can teach someone quite a bit about chivalry and how to be a lady. I really don't have time to read a book right now (I'm about to graduate and there are other more pressing things to do!).

I think that in the past I rejected some of these films because they were "chick flicks" and way to girly and romantic for me. The term "chick flick" is derogatory but really it shouldn't be so I won't think of them in that way anymore. Sometimes, when I'm single, I avoid watching anything related to romance because they just remind me of what I don't have. But I think that this may be a fast and easy way to see ladylike manners in action. I think seeing demonstrations of comportment will be very useful since I can't find a real, all-encompassing etiquette video online.

Another reason why I rejected these films and books is because of their lack of cultural diversity. I want to read and watch things that include different ethnicities, including Black people. I think Jane Austen writes about the Victorian Age (1837 -1901) and this is after the abolition of slavery in the British colonies in 1833. So I don't think there will be any slavery in the films/books which is a good thing. I just wouldn't feel good trying to emulate the behaviours of women who had slaves and thought they were inherently better than me (you know what I mean). It would just feel wrong because the women would act kind and lovely to their peers and family yet they would be participating in such evil by having slaves. So I don't think I'd be interested in a film or book about manners in the U.S. prior to the abolition of slavery or during Jim Crowe either. Like I said in a previous post, I tend to boycott things that don't show diversity. I would love to see/read anything from the Victorian era that has diversity though, or anything about manners in Asia, India, the Caribbean, or Africa actually.

So, I think the first film I will watch is Pride and Prejudice ( I watched the Bollywood movie Bride and Prejudice before lol...not a fan of musicals). Maybe I'll just put the boycott aside for a while so that I can learn what I want to learn. It will probably be really helpful to see exaggerated depictions of femininity, etiquette, and manners so that I can develop my behaviour to be a better-than-modern-average but less-than-Victorian. In order to be a proper lady it seems logical to look at the examples of classical proper ladies. But if I hear any racism I'll be really annoyed!

Update 1: I just found out Jane Austen lived from 1775-1817, definitely before the abolition of slavery so I guess her books are not set in the Victorian age. So I don't know about this whole thing at all...The hoity-toity characters she writes about probably owned slaves and are of the same sort who went around the world to colonize other people and build plantations. These are the people I can't stand! Yes, people like me are just supposed to ignore things like this and appreciate the art and writing...not sure if I can or should...


Update2: I read about Jane Austin on Wikipedia and it states that she writes about the landed gentry, people who own land in Britain, but there was no mention of slaves. The article talked about farmers living on the land and the gentry earned money from rent (not unlike what I would like to do one day with houses or office space) but I don't know if they also employed slaves, or if the slavery was race-based. I think I'm going to have to research this more before I decide to watch/read any Jane Austen. I'll give it a chance and watch Pride and Prejudice and do a review on it. Let's keep an open mind because maybe there is nothing to be offended about.

This all reminds me of a time in high school when I told some friends that I started to watch Dead Man Walking but I turned it off after hearing Sean Penn's character say horrible, racist things. I said I didn't have to subject myself for that or try to empathize with the character because I had better things to do. The teacher overheard and said that I should have watched the movie anyway because I missed out on a great film. Well she was White and had probably never had the experience of watching a movie only to find it riddled with racist things directed at her. This was the experience I also had watching Taxi Driver (every racist slur towards Black people was mentioned in that movie!), L.A. Confidential, Saturday Night Fever, and many Quinten Tarrantino films (e.g., Reservoir Dogs). No one thought to mention that there were highly racist comments in the films said by the so-called "heroes" who the audience is supposed to root for and identify with. I'm just supposed to look past the racism and somehow enjoy the film. I don't reject every movie that has racism though, only the one's that didn't need it (and it seems as though the writer just felt like insulting Black people). For instance, in Reservoir Dogs the movie was not about a historical time period (e.g., Jim Crowe) and there were no Black people in the film, yet I still heard the n-word. It makes sense in a movie about a racist person or setting, but not out of the blue. Well I can't stand the unnecessary racism and I won't endure that anymore. If you insult me, don't expect me to stick around to hear what else you have to say. There are plenty of excellent films from around the world that I would rather spend my time watching. Missing out on a few is not the end of the world.