Totally agree with this one :)
Another good too by a young woman (she swears a bit though)
Please do not conduct yourself like the woman in this VIDEO (a lot of foul language). No I really don't agree with her except about the BW bashers being jerks. The part about all women needing to be dominated is actually dangerous in my opinion. Her message was totally lost because she made herself look horrible because of the extreme nature of her statements and the way they were delivered full of profanity. If you are criticizing the attractiveness of other people then you had better look and act attractive yourself. She made herself look and sound like the hard, masculine, "I don't need no man", angry Black woman stereotype and people used that to insult and discredit her. You have to seem competent, rational, and credible to deliver certain messages and actually have people listen.
I especially like the 3rd video because I think she's very smart and it's good to see that she actually understands what femininity is all about despite her young age. Great post.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog! I recently realized that the way I conduct myself just needs to be corrected on several levels. Your blog (and I think Maria's blog as well?) are great beginning points for me to start to make changes.
ReplyDeleteThanks for pointing me in the direction of Motorcity Moxie. It's great to see another example of a feminine woman rocking it out. I read through some of her blog and her fashion style and beauty is on point. I'm trying to get to that level!
ReplyDelete:LONG COMMENT:
ReplyDeleteThe topic of femininity and black women has always been a little fuzzy to me. Most people always say to black women that if they were more feminine then men would be nicer to them, this and that wouldn't happen to them etc. I sense people of all races and both genders have trouble pinpointing what makes one feminine and what makes one masculine.
When I hear black men tell black women that they need to be more feminine, my body tenses and I've always felt irritated and a repulsed. Coming from them, I've always felt this hostile and intrusive sexual energy being directed at me. That's when I began thinking that within all groups, it's easier for women to be more feminine, when the men are actually masculine. I was looking at The Seductive Woman blog and here's a quote from one of my favorite articles
"The real man MAKES something of his life, and doesn't waste time on things that aren't bringing him any profit. In addition, he's a family man, and a monogamous man. Without him, society couldn't last (and without you it couldn't last!)"
Women of other races have always had men who fit the description above: they provide a safe havens for their women to be more feminine and the women reciprocated by indulging in their femininity. However, in the BC where dysfunction is normalized, the men provide nothing (voluntarily) so the women are literally stuck in limbo in regards to their own femininity. I see black women focus on the traits of caring and service at the expense of all other feminine traits (why else would black women make up like 95% of a church service?). The "independent" attitude and aggression people talk about is learned trait in response to primarily dealing with black men. When the majority of BM refuse to marry BW, provide for their kids and community, of course women will adopt an independent attitude (survival mechanism). When your dealing with a community of men that constantly abuses you mentally, emotionally and physically, then yes your gonna be aggressive to protect yourself. I remember on BM coworker saying BW had to be "hard" b/c of racism so other races of women were naturally "soft". It sounded like complete bs to me at the time but I couldn't figure out why. Now I know black men just say that to keep BW believing racism is bigger threat than a community of men that devalues and uses them for resources.
Phew! Now, I know other races of women are considered more feminine, outwardly, but I've always felt most lacked substance. They focus on being complacent,coquettish and girlish (speaking with an upward inflection, high pitched voice etc.) but they get more insecure as they age usually by around 25.
I believe an ultra feminine appearance compliments a woman who is graceful, elegant and down to earth (that poise Melina talks about). I think black women need to start interacting more with men who posses true masculinity and STOP FIGHTING with the black community or anyone who doesn't like you. Truly detach yourself from needless conflict.
Favorite beauty icons (ideal feminine women I want to be like when I grow up lol)
Angelique Noire
Pearl Bailey
Catherine Deneuve
a bunch of natural hair models
Thanks everyone for your comments :) I always enjoy finding videos, blogs, and comments from other women who also value femininity. A lot of the time it seems like Black women are not allowed to be feminine and are supposed to be hard all the time, but many of us are different and don't find it useful to be hard and masculine in our lives. It would be great if we were just accepted and not challenged about it. Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteHi Samadhi101,
ReplyDeleteI don't mind the long comment at all. You said, "When I hear black men tell black women that they need to be more feminine, my body tenses and I've always felt irritated and a repulsed. Coming from them, I've always felt this hostile and intrusive sexual energy being directed at me." Well, maybe you're just not that into them? You need a man who doesn't make you feel that way.
I like the quote you posted "The real man MAKES something of his life, and doesn't waste time on things that aren't bringing him any profit. In addition, he's a family man, and a monogamous man. Without him, society couldn't last (and without you it couldn't last!)" That is the type of man I look for plus someone I find physically attractive. Men I have met (including Black Canadian men) have not had a problem with my femininity and they have said they like it. I think that's because many Caribbean men are different and they don't have the same "hate the man" attitude that's in the U.S. I think it would be hard to get along with someone who has that attitude because they are always angry and rejecting of things that the mainstream embraces.
I've detached myself from that "the world hates me and is unfair" and "be constantly angry at the man" mentality because those attitudes were not helpful and they brought down my mood. I avoid men who think like that. I date gentlemen. I have my preferences...you can probably guess what they are (e.g., Joseph Gordon Levitt types)but there are probably women who can find love with Black men. I personally don't limit myself and I've had my preferences since childhood so they aren't based on Black men doing me wrong. There were never that many around when I grew up so I like the guys who I saw regularly plain and simple. Now I think that having the same values, goals, and getting along well are way more important than race.
Maybe I need to visit Canada lol I need a break from the gender war over here (I live in Dallas,Texas). My family is from Sierra Leone, West Africa (Mende tribe) but I was born and raised in Texas. I keep forgetting black people are different across the world. I guess gender relations do vary depending on the country.
ReplyDeleteJoseph Gordon Levitt has been around for awhile, so it's interesting to me how he's FINALLY getting his big break :) he was stuck in indie movie Limbo for years.