Monday, July 23, 2012

Maybe I have a Sensitivity to Masculinity LOL!

I just wanted to mention I changed the layout of the EBW Tumblr site and it looks so much better and you can see all the photos by scrolling instead of turning pages. I LOVE it :) Eventually I'll probably switch to Pinterest though if it's more popular.

Just right!

Wait a minute, JGL kind of looks like the first I like feminine men??? Darn it those Big Bopper and Tiger Beat magazines I read (drooled on) growing up made me love pretty boys lol!!! Oh well, skinny, pretty guys need love and cuddles too :) Actually the first guy is kind of cute....I have to face it, I prefer men with a feminine side. I swear I'm straight though...seriously ;)

I think that in the past things were like this:

A. Femininity-X-----------------------------Androgyny--------------------X---------------Masculinity
          Preferred Woman                                                   Preferred Man

The preferred woman would be ultra feminine and was prevented from doing anything masculine. She was not allowed much if any independence, men ruled her life, she was their property, she was there to look pretty, have children and care for them, take care of the house, and do what men wanted. She dressed in an ultra feminine way reserved for women.

The preferred male was very masculine by not extremely so because he was a gentleman. He was intelligent, chivalrous, resourceful, and a good provider and protector for women, his family, and society. He was the leader and head of the household and everyone had to listen to him. Some of these men, especially of the upper classes, put work into their appearance and dress so that they looked good and stayed fashionable. But he dressed in a masculine way reserved for men.

Then over the past 100 years things shifted and I think in Western countries things are more like this today:

B. Femininity--------------------------------X-Androgyny-----------------------------------X-Masculinity
                                              Preferred Woman                                      Preferred Man

Basically everyone became too masculine and I think I'm allergic to that much masculinity lol! I think that in the 60s-80s women were more in the middle of the Femininity-Androgyny side and I think that was pretty good. Women worked and had rights, they still dressed in a feminine manner but not in the ultra feminine way of the past. Women wanted to be treated as equals and society began to accept and promote that. Women were still women but they were able to do more of the things men did and they did not have to look ultra feminine. But I think today it has gone so far that the preferred women in the media and to feminists would be practically androgynous. She wears women's clothing that look like men's and it's hard to tell she is a woman physically. She devalues feminine things and strives to prove she can do everything men can do and prefers what they prefer. The preferred woman is too close to androgyny and has given up all the things I love about women (e.g., softness, kindness, sweetness, dresses, skirts, bows, flowers, kittens, bunnies, smiles, cupcakes, baby ducks, and all that sissy stuff lol).

The men in the 60s-80s were still similar to the way they were in the past but they were getting used to thinking of women as equals (of course many fought against this). But then guess who came along...the tough, muscled, body builder, tough talking, rule breaking, ultra male of the film industry. This male typified by Marlon Brando, Burt Reynolds, the Marlboro Man, and eventually Arnold Swartzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and many physically dominant athletes. These were examples of masculinity on steroids (literally) and this is when bodybuilding began. At times I admit I do find these men physically attractive, but they have so many other unattractive things about them that I just don't want to have relationships with them. They are nice to look at but do they really get along with others or settle down for a quiet peaceful life? They just aren't boyfriend or husband material.

So this is what I think I like:

C. Femininity-----------X---------------------Androgyny--------------------X----------------Masculinity
        Preferred Woman                                                       Preferred Man

Yes, what I prefer is almost the same dynamic present in Example A. BUT...I want all of the gains women and men have made to remain! So I want women to keep the rights and respect they have yet still be allowed to wear dresses, bake cupcakes (if they want), and love kittens. I want men to not feel the need to be tough, ultra masculine men but instead go back to being more like chivalrous gentlemen. These gentlemen will want to have families and settle down while still having respect for women and their partners. So there will be less pressure for everyone to be masculine and masculinity will not be valued more than femininity. This level of masculinity is just enough for me :) I admit I do like some androgynous traits in men such as: long hair (lol, maybe I just like retro hair); metrosexuals in terms of personal grooming with little body hair; cute voices rather than deep ones; cute boyish faces rather than hard ultra masculine ones; guys who are younger or my age rather than older guys; thin rather than big guys; and of course guys who are sweet, nice, romantic, and sensitive. So these are things that the ultra masculine men don't have.

Many people don't have the same sensitivity I do so they are perfectly comfortable with Example B and will say anything a woman does or wears is feminine because she is a woman so basically anything goes. So they may date men who I think are way too hard or act in ways that I think are way too masculine but to others it will be perfectly "normal". I understand this. We just have a different sensitivity/preference and you may be comfortable with the status quo.

My next question would be, 'who do men prefer?' Followed by 'will the men I prefer actually prefer me?' From what I have read many men prefer very feminine women however I have just learned some (e.g., hipsters) don't seem to care and are comfortable with androgyny. I'll have to test out the second question in my real life :)

This made me think of Japanese pop stars. This is how I think things are in Japanese pop today lol!:

C. Femininity-X--------------------------------Androgyny--X----------------------------------Masculinity
               Preferred Woman                                  Preferred Man

Yes, I like my men to have a soft side but he shouldn't be wearing my make-up or looking prettier than me lol!


  1. Love JGL. Well mannered, intelligent, and always dressed to impress for interviews. I also notice that Japanese men were the first to start the new dapper look.

  2. He and Ryan Gosling dress really well and look great even when they are dressed down. JGL is just.....swoon. Hmm I didn't know that about Japanese men. :)