I am not like the women in the videos, but by posting these videos and claiming that most Black women fit those stereotypes, these videos affect me. As a Black woman I feel compelled to stand up and fight to correct these unfair assaults on our image. Most of the time I find it frustrating, but yesterday I actually found it amusing! I was amused because I realized that the men posting and commenting on these videos are really the bottom of the barrel and don't have anything to offer a woman like me. An EBW is a lady, but she is not a doormat! I think sometimes I can be insulting to these men, but if they put these videos up then they are asking for an argument. I think you can tell so much about the men based on the videos and comments and these are my observations:
- These men are not educated. You can tell they are not because their spelling is atrocious and their grammar is pitiful. They don't even know how to capitalize the first letter of a new sentence! They also resort to swearing and insults instead of focusing on the argument. I also think many of their arguments don't make sense and they are incapable of understanding women's viewpoints. They may be victims of a poor school system, or they may not have applied themselves in school. Either way, I wouldn't want one of them.
- These men are not successful. These men get offended when successful women say they want a successful man. If they were actually successful then they would not be offended. These men have not achieved much and they want us to ignore that, give them our bodies, and "submit" to them just because they are men!
- These men are desperate for respect. They have done nothing else in their lives to deserve respect. They are desperately trying to get it based on the fact that they are men which somehow entitles them to respect. They use the Bible to justify that men should be the leaders and women were made for men, they go on and on about the roles of men and women, criticize matriarchy, and rant about feminism. A man who was successful, makes good decisions, and carries himself like a gentleman would not need these arguments because he would be respected automatically! We should respect everyone's basic rights, but the type of respect these men want can only be earned. They have not earned this respect and that hurts their egos.
- These men can not get the women they want. These men complain that Black women don't want a good man and only want thugs. They claim that they are good men and there are plenty of them around. That tells me that they think they are good catches but the women they want obviously don't and they are rejecting them. In fact, these women are rejecting them harshly with a lot of attitude which has been a blow to the men's egos. The only way they can protect their self-esteem is by criticizing the women instead.
- The only thing these men offer is sex. These men get upset when Black women on YouTube talk about liking White or Asian men. Frequently, they say Black women are crazy for liking Asian men because Black men are supposed to be better endowed, as if that is the only thing a woman wants. When Black women talk about the positive traits of men they know of other races, Black men ignore everything (e.g., personality, respect, education, career, sensitivity, romance etc.) and focus on sex. They do this because they know they do not have the qualities these other men have so the focus on the one thing they "possibly" have over them.
- These men do not hold themselves accountable for their lives. These men blame everyone for their current situation including their mothers, Black women in general, "The Man", racism, and discrimination. Yes, racism and discrimination may have a role, the economy, where one grew up, and parents do have a role, but what are they going to do about that? They take NO responsibility for the choices they have made. The finger is always pointed elsewhere so they don't see any need to change themselves and spend their time lecturing about women needing to change. Men like this will not improve their circumstances because they do not realize that it is extremely difficult to change other people and it is easier to change yourself.
- These men's standards are too high. Black women bashers are unrealistic about the women they want. Why would a middle class, successful woman want a poor man who goes from job to job with no security? Why would someone with an education want someone without one? Why would she want someone with a criminal record? According to these men they are attractive and good men (I don't know what criteria they are using) and that should be all a woman should look for. If she wants anything else then she is a snob, a golddigger, or a mammy for "The Man". They ignore the much researched notion that women want security, stability, and someone who can provide her their children. Looking good or being well endowed doesn't ensure any of that. These men complain about women with attitudes who are superficial, with children from different fathers but maybe...those women are on their level and the only ones who would want them! The men can't accept that based on their lack of achievement they can not get better women. They have to face the fact that they need to educate themselves and get better jobs if they want better women.
- These men are immersed in hip hop culture. I say this because any time someone blames the hip hop culture for the misogyny, materialism, aggression, and criminality of Black men they take offence and try to justify the music and it's messages. They do not see their misogyny or double standards or any harm the music could cause. They equate being Black with liking hip hop and do not pursue any other cultural genres. These men want to be rappers or ball players no matter how unlikely it is to to become a professional in these areas. They waste their time trying to achieve that dream instead of focusing on school or other creative ideas. I would advise EBWs to stay away for men who areTOO interested in hip hop.
- These men just hate Black women and nothing will change that. There are some Black men posting videos who have never liked Black women, or they have decided they don't want to date them again. These men are not providing constructive criticism to help Black women so that maybe they can date again. These men just want to spread their hate. Their video are no better that those posted by racists. They do not care about improving the Black community or fostering Black love. These videos should be flagged and removed.