Lessons we can Learn from Cheerleaders

I haven't done a "Lessons we can Learn" post in a while so here goes. I think that there are some lessons we can learn from cheerleaders! There is something about cheerleaders than drives men crazy and draws the envy of other women. There is a reason why cheerleaders are featured in so many films and even music videos. This begs the question, why? Being a cheerleader is a very feminine thing and unfortunately men are often ridiculed when they become cheerleaders. Some people see the cheerleading as being sexist but it has actually become a sport in itself with it's own competitions and awards. We can think of cheering games as simply practice for competitions instead of standing on the sidelines where the real athletes perform. I read somewhere that cheerleading is possibly the most dangerous of high school sports so I don't know if I would want my future daughter to participate in it, or in gymnastics though.

I think that nowadays the uniforms are too revealing and I prefer the image of the vintage cheerleader with longer skirts and no midriff showing. I don't think high school cheerleading is a big deal in Canada but our professional teams have them too so maybe the professional cheerleaders learned it in school. Perhaps they even get scholarships. Either way they are feminine icons in North America. Here are some movies/shows/videos featuring cheerleaders (or a cheerleader): the Bring it On series, Fired Up, Sugar and Spice, Man of the House, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Mean Girls, Sixteen Candles, Lucas, Death Proof, Can't Buy me Love, John Tucker Must Die, American Beauty, Jawbreaker, Not Another Teen Movie, Jennifer's Body (and most teen horror films), Starsky & Hutch, Saved by the Bell, Sweet Valley High, Beverly Hills 90210, Carrie, and Britney Spears' Baby Hit me One More Time video and Hey Mickey...that's a lot! Here are some lessons we can learn from cheerleaders based on their public appearance (in private they may be quite different...mean and trashy according to many of these films lol):

1. Be cheerful at social gatherings: Cheerleaders smile and present themselves as happy, friendly, and enthusiastic people. While performing they do not mean mug and they make sure to present themselves in a positive manner. They know that everyone is watching so they are sure to make a good impression that will not bring shame to their school/team.  Be sure to do the same for yourself at any social gathering, networking event, or interview. Just as they are ambassadors for their schools/teams you are an ambassador for your school, family, and employers and you are only doing yourself harm if you make a bad impression. 
2. Make friends and network: Cheerleaders tend to be very popular. This may be because they are visible at sporting events, they wear identifiable uniforms, they tend to be attractive, and men desire them. Because of this people know who they are and want to be their friends/dates. Chances are you are not a cheerleader but you can still make an effort to be social, go to social and networking events, be a good friend, and try to meet new people. Good friends will bring you happiness but avoid and cut off ties with those who make your life difficult (don't keep frenemies). Good friends and acquaintances may help you with many aspects of your life (e.g., job opportunities, references, mentoring, unique opportunities, introductions, and entrance to their social circles). 
3. Be supportive of your family, friends, and partners: Cheerleaders encourage their team so that the team can do it's best. You can be a cheerleader for your family, friends, and your man. I can't think of anyone who doesn't appreciate encouragement and support for their goals or difficult things they need to do. You can be that person who others go to for support. Try to encourage your loved ones instead of tearing them down and competing with them (especially your man). Be a good team member so that group goals can be achieved. This will make you a valuable person in the lives of others and make them want to spend time with you. Hopefully they will return the favor when you need support. 
4. Exercise and be physically fit: Cheerleaders must be in excellent physical shape and they are constantly training and eating healthy (they may go to extremes so avoid that). No matter what anyone says being too overweight or obese will never be accepted in cheerleading. These women are considered to be highly attractive to most people and they tend to be slim and participate in regular physical activity. They try to adhere to standards of beauty and to many they are the standard.
5. Wear cute clothing and accessories: Vintage cheerleader outfits are adorable! I love the pleated skirts, pompoms, v-neck sweaters, and hair bows. Even adult women can wear hair bows (e.g., around a ponytail), pleated skirts, and v-neck sweaters. You can also find pompoms on hair accessories, pens, and sweaters. Cheerleaders tend to be feminine role models for others and they take pride in their appearance. They do not want to be seen looking bad.
6. Have a life: Cheerleading is a sport in itself not just something revolving around men's activities. Because cheerleaders tend to be popular they have active social lives outside of school. To be a well-rounded person you need to have your own life. Find some hobbies, figure out what interests you, set some goals and spend time working on them. Find something to do with your days instead of just watching TV or surfing the Internet. If you are in school find some extracurricular activities. You may actually enjoy them and they will look good on school and job applications. 

Here are some of my past Lessons we can Learn posts. These are posts that look for positive things we can learn from stereotypical female icons that are sometimes viewed as only negative:

Lessons we can learn from secretaries

Lessons we can learn from beauty queens

Lessons we can learn from geisha

Lessons we can learn from Stepford Wives (lol)

Lessons We Can Learn From Geisha

I have been meaning to do this post for a long time. When I first started this blog I watched a documentary about Maiko Training. A Maiko is a young woman who is training to become a Geisha. A Maiko starts out as a normal Japanese girl and she learns how to become the ultimate feminine woman who is desired by most men because of her grace, elegance, and mysterious beauty. It just goes to show, although some aspects of femininity come natural to women, some things can and must be learned in order to appear the most feminine. It includes learning how to move, speak, dress, wear make-up, perform music and various arts, and how to treat men. It takes five years to learn all of this! It reminds me of young women who are sent to finishing school to learn how to be proper ladies. It was hard to find videos about Geisha, just as it is difficult to find videos about etiquette and finishing schools because people want to reserve these skills for the elite members of society (or they want to be paid for the valuable information).

When I started this post I decided to give myself a lesson (a few hours) about Geisha based on what I could find online. So I decided to watch The Secret World of Geisha and Memoirs of a Geisha (other video: Video1). What I love the most about Geisha is the way they move so gracefully and slowly. That is what I really want to learn, how to move in the most feminine manner possible. That is also why I want to learn dance lessons. I really want to learn some Geisha tricks!

Memoirs of a Geisha starring Gong Li

I have to say that I have been a fan of Gong Li ever since I saw her in Raise the Red Lantern years ago. I also loved her in Hannibal and Miami Vice (the movie).  She is always so beautiful, graceful, reserved, and ultra-feminine. I really need to watch more of her films so I can absorb some of her essence! Her photos on Google Images are just breathtaking!

Here are some lessons we can learn from Geisha:

1. Be a fantasy and a walking work of art.  A Geisha is a man's fantasy of a feminine, pure, idealized woman. Make yourself look beautiful and feminine. Walk in a soft delicate manner with small steps. Carry and treat yourself like a precious work of art. Do not allow people to treat you with disrespect because you are priceless! The more you believe this and act this out the sooner it will become your usual way of thinking and behaving. Part of being a fantasy is not revealing everything about yourself as soon as you meet someone. Be mysterious. Also, try not to mention everything you do to look beautiful, keep your grooming habits secret.
2. Be exclusive and only associate with high quality men. Only the most successful, high quality men are able to associate with Geisha. Do not lower yourself by associating with low quality people or they will bring you down to their level and you may pick up their bad habits. If you associate with low quality people onlookers will assume that you are low quality too. If you want to find a good man then you must frequent the places where such men congregate not at a sleazy club or on the street beside the liquor store.
3. Learn how to entertain. Geisha are artists who provide entertainment to wealthy clients. Being entertaining includes learning the art of conversation. Become aware of world events, read non-fiction, tell amusing stories, ask other people questions, and show interest in others. Be a good guest at parties, be on your best behaviour, and learn dining etiquette. You don't have to say everything you are thinking and there is not need to argue all the time. Speak wisely, listen closely, and learn to keep a secret.  Sell your skills and companionship to male suitors, not your body.  Be reserved and learn to control your emotions.
4. Women need to preserve traditional femininity. Women must teach girls and other women how to be feminine because men can not properly teach these things. Men may believe that acting feminine comes naturally and don't realize that it is hard work to learn. There are tips and secrets that we must teach future generations so that we maintain our femininity despite all of the pressure to be androgynous. Gender roles have changed with time and we can keep some of the old and blend with the new. 

Lessons We Can Learn From The Stepford Wives (2004)

Spoiler Alert! If you don't want to know what happens in this film or the ending please stop reading :)

After finding a photo of the Stepford Wives from the 2004 version of the movie, I decided to watch it again. In this film a powerful television executive (Nicole Kidman) was fired, her husband (Matthew Broderick) quit his job as vice president of the company, and they decided to move to Stepford. Nicole's character had short (very masculine) hair, a dominant presence, and always dressed in Black. She constantly argued with her husband and appeared angry and pushy. In Stepford she met Bette Midler's character who was a writer and she was also very pushy, loud, and a lousy housekeeper who dressed in that awful sloppy hippie style. All of the men in Stepford were rich and and went to a country club. The women were also very successful. But when the men became fed up with their wives they brought them to the club where they had computer chips placed in their brains to turn them into "perfect wives" who were gorgeous, feminine, totally obedient, and unopinionated...basically robots. Nicole and her husband devised a plan to have her pretend to be a robot so that they could destroy the computers at the club. In the end it turned out that it was actually a woman who came up with the idea for the robots because she wanted women to be cherished and loved and for men to be men again.

I'll start off by saying I do not think women need to be turned into obedient robots and men should not force women to change (or do medical procedures) against their will!!! This was a COMEDY and the femininity and gender roles were exaggerated (e.g., Glen Close's skirts were so full no one would wear them today, they were vapid, totally obedient, and lacking of personality). The original version was a horror movie with strong feminist messages about women's independence. The original had a different ending because it would be horrifying to have your loving husband remove your free will and turn you into a robot slave.

There were some interesting messages about gender roles that we can take from the film. It basically showed what men like and dislike in women (but in an exaggerated fashion). The men wanted women who were not argumentative, hard, too busy for them, masculine looking, sloppy, untidy, loud, pessimistic, unfriendly, or embarrassing in public. The men preferred women who looked feminine and pretty and were easy to get along with, and passive (totally submissive in this case). They did not seem to care about the women's careers. It was interesting to note that all of the men were low-average to below average in attractiveness but the women were all very attractive after their robot makeovers (i.e., they looked like trophy wives). Even unattractive men want beauty queens it seems! I have to admit though, I thought the women did look better after their makeovers. Except for some of the exaggerated skirts, the dresses were very pretty, their hair looked better, and they looked happier. After the makeover Nicole Kidman looked the way she does at every awards ceremony so even she prefers looking like a Stepford wife! These are some of the important messages in the movie:

• There is no need to argue over every little thing especially when it doesn't have an effect on your life. Choose your battles wisely. Be passive most of the time (don't sweat the small stuff) and assertive (not aggressive) when you need something or when you need to stand up for yourself. Men find it emasculating when they are questioned about everything they do (it would probably annoy you too to be constantly questioned). You can have an opinion, but you don't have to share your opinion on every single thing or get involved in everyone else's business.
• If you decide to become a powerful career woman then you will have to work extra hard to make sure that you spend quality (peaceful) time with your husband and family. Your work can not be your whole life. If your time with your family is as serious and anxiety-provoking as your time at work then you may lose your family.  When you step into your house it is time to be relaxed and supportive instead of competitive, punitive, or dominant the way you may need to be in some careers. In other less stressful careers it will be easier to make the work to home transition. 
• Looking more feminine can be achieved in one day. Well it will probably take some research into feminine clothing and hairstyles. But once that is done you would just need to go shopping and go to a salon (or wig shop) to get the feminine look. It's just clothes, make-up, and hair (improving posture and grace will take more time and can not be purchased). Making these changes is easy and I'm sure many of us have changed our style and hair numerous times so it isn't that serious but the rewards may be great. You can still express yourself with feminine clothing. People are likely to treat you differently (probably better) if you look feminine rather than androgynous or masculine. 
• Feminine traits can be expressed instantly by smiling more, being polite and friendly, controlling emotional expressions, and not being argumentative or snarky. We all know how to be nice but sometimes we don't feel like being nice or we don't think it is important. Many of believe we have the right to express any emotion or thought we want and everyone has to just accept our behaviour. This will eventually push people away or keep them from ever approaching you. You know your behaviour is unpleasant because I'm sure you aren't overjoyed when someone is angry or sad whenever you see them. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. It's only human to be emotional and unhappy sometimes (no one is ever happy all the time) but if you are always angry or sad then something needs to change. If you are constantly in a negative mood then you need to make some changes in your life or seek help.

Remember, it was just a comedy! Even caricatures have a grain of truth!

Lessons We Can Learn From Beauty Queens

I recently watched a beauty pageant and it gave me the idea for this post. There are some great tips we can learn from beauty pageant contestants that would add to our EBW qualities! Now I'm not advocating that you enter a pageant or debating whether they are sexist or not (I think they should get rid of the swimsuit competition though). For this post I'm just using pageants as a way to demonstrate the qualities of feminine, elegant women. Beauty queens are also fantasy women for many men who want the best of the best! These are the qualities of the idealized beauty queen:

1. Beauty: A beauty queen makes herself look beautiful, feminine, and elegant.  She wears natural looking make-up that accentuates her good features but nothing overpowering. She looks naturally beautiful instead of "made-up" (no bad weaves or rainbow coloured hair). She also keeps herself physically fit and avoids unhealthy foods. Beauty queens have excellent posture and walk with feminine confidence (however, the beauty queen walk is only suitable for the stage!).
2. Elegant Attire: A beauty queen dresses in elegant, feminine, classic, or professional attire. She does not look "ghetto" or "ghettofabulous". She is always wearing something presentable because she is in the public eye. She dresses modestly to preserve her good reputation. Beauty queens are everyday women who dress and act like queens and you can too...well without the crown of course!
3. Dignity and Respect: A beauty queen has a good reputation, she is respected, and she carries herself with dignity. She does not engage in scandalous behaviour that would keep her out of the pageant or cause her to lose her crown. That means, no scandalous videos or photos, no substance abuse, no criminal background, no promiscuity. If you have these things is your past, it's time to stop, put that past behind you, and change your image. It's never too late.
4. Poise: Beauty pageants are public events and the major ones are televised around the world. These women have to be on their best behaviour because everyone is watching. If they trip or fall they must be able to get up and carry on without complaining, causing a scene, swearing, pouting, or any other unladylike behaviour. They maintain their composure. When a contestant is asked controversial questions she thinks before she speaks and provides a moderate or popular response that will not offend anyone. In your everyday life, do you act like everyone is watching? Do you avoid offending people? Maybe you (and I ) should start.
5. Congeniality: A congenial person is pleasant, friendly, and sociable. A person with this quality is well liked, popular, and a role model for others. This is an all-around nice person. Remember to be congenial with others instead of bitter, mean, rude, hateful, or argumentative. These negative behaviours may make you feel good in the short term, but they will ruin your reputation and push others away. 
6. Education and Talent: Some beauty pageants are actually scholarship competitions. The financial prize will be used by the women to further their educations. The message here is do what you need to do (legally) to further your education. You can be attractive and intelligent! If your beauty gets you into a job or opportunity, just make sure you have the skills and training to stay there. These women also have talents and hobbies that they demonstrate in the pageants. Hobbies are great ways to spend your time, they are something to talk about, you will feel confident once you master your hobby, and they make you a more interesting and well-rounded person. 
7. SMILING!!!! Beauty queens are always smiling. Try smiling while you speak, when you are on the phone, and when people look at you. Smile when you ask for something or when you are giving constructive criticism. It works!