Clothing Men Prefer on Women

This post is about clothing that men love to see women wear. In a future post I will write about clothing I love to see men wearing because I have preferences and it's not just about women being appealing to men. I have no problem looking fantastic for my fantastic looking man! Of course you can wear what you want and take the chance that you will meet someone who loves your androgynous style or you may be lucky enough to see someone on a regular basis (e.g., school, work, social group etc.) so that they fall in love with your personality first. For myself, I don't want to take chances and I don't have the same luck so I'm going to put out the bait to attract men and look feminine and respectable while doing so.

I think one has to be cautious about accepting the advice of women who are opposed to other women trying to look good for men. Sometimes I know they just don't want women to get hurt with extreme diets or plastic surgery, feeling shame/sadness if they don't come close to meeting beauty ideals, wearing things that don't make them feel comfortable, or a fear that men will only like them for their looks. But some of these women may have personal issues that are different from yours, they may be very angry with some men in their lives when you haven't had the same experiences, or they may have very different life goals (e.g., not heterosexual, believe in having lots of casual sex, believe in open marriages/relationships, doesn't believe in marriage, want to raise kids alone).

It's even worse when some women advocate not to do certain things when they are the poster women for those very things (e.g., thin women telling overweight women not to lose weight, beautiful women telling less attractive women to not wear makeup, women in relationships telling single women not to do anything to attract a man, women who's parents were married saying marriage doesn't matter, women without children saying women can raise children on their own etc.). It's hard to know what's going on behind the advice especially if a person is really adamant about their views. So to be fair you should really listen to a lot of different opinions and then choose the opinions, actions, or goals that make the most sense and feel the most comfortable to you. This will take time, learning, and introspection. For me, I look to women who are in relationships/married for relationship advice or experts (e.g., relationship counselors, match makers), or even men since I want to live with one of them not another woman. Why is it more enlightened to cave to the fashion industry or trends by buying new clothes every season? I'd rather buy some classic, durable, feminine clothes that I can wear for years that also attract men.

So below are links to information from men and women about what clothing and looks men prefer on women. You can ignore all of this information if you wish :)

• 5 outfits guys secretly hope you will wear video (I ignored the parts about pants since I never wear them. I'm all for the sexy librarian look. I like simple dresses too)
• What men want women to wear
• Here is a link to some interesting commentary on a dating forum where a woman asked "why do men like women to wear dresses/skirts?" I like reading forums sometimes because they show you what a group of people, from who knows where, think about a subject and in this case it is one where men and women are seeking relationships. This is useful if you don't have the time or know enough people to ask their opinions. Notice how negative some of the women are about the topic (e.g., calling men pigs for finding women's legs attractive) and how many have gotten used to just wearing jeans and not doing much about their appearance. I like this quote, "The only good thing about pants on a woman, is seeing the shape of her butt. Otherwise, they look clunky and industrial. Now a dress... accents her curves....and flows when she moves. Poetry in motion."
• It's almost like a flirty thing. When you wear a dress sometimes men start to fantasize about you in a way they don't with women in pants. Some women may be uncomfortable with the idea of this fantasizing but I like it, and I think it's powerful to be able to attract someone's attention so easily. I just ignore the men who don't interest me and revel in the attention of the one's I like. It's interesting the way some commenters actually said the question was "silly" and that the poster should obviously know that men prefer women in dresses/skirts because they make women look more feminine, accentuate their curves, and make men fantasize, but really I think some women don't know this! Or they know this but they don't care because they are more comfortable in pants or baggy clothes for whatever reason.
• Interesting website called The Rules Revisited by a man telling women what men want. There was an interesting post called Feminine beauty is highly controllable. The article is basically saying there is a lot your can do to improve your looks if you are willing to put in the effort. 
• Just because...How to dress like the ladies of Mad Men
• Clothes guys don't want women to wear (agree)
• Things women wear that men hate
• Things men hate that women wear
• Top 10 styles women love to wear but men hate to see

Why I Gave Up Wearing the Pants--Literally!

I have given up wearing pants and I'm so glad I have! Almost four years ago I transitioned to wearing natural hair and cut off my relaxed ends. Even though I had nine months of new growth, I did not realize how much shrinkage I would get (about 80%!!!) so my hair ended up looking only about two inches long! That was way too short for me and I thought it made me look unfeminine. It also didn't help that my student wardrobe was mainly jeans, sweatshirts, and hoodies. So I decided I needed to make myself look more feminine to compensate for my hair.

I started by buying jewelry. I think large, colourful earrings look great with natural hair so I bought plenty of those. I also bought necklaces but I just never liked them enough to keep wearing them (maybe I haven't found the right style yet). I also decided my wardrobe needed an overhaul not only to look more feminine, but also because I had gained weight and my pants no longer fit! It wasn't that expensive either because I tend to do thrift shopping. I became frustrated because the pants I tried on did not fit me well. Many Black women have probably encountered the same problem trying to find pants for larger thighs and backsides along with a small waist. If the pants fit the thighs/backside then they are loose around the waist. Any pants that were in my waist size were too tight to pull over my thighs. So I decided to try on some skirts. At the time I had a few long flower skirts that I rarely wore but I still gave it a try. I ended up with pretty, elegant dresses and skirts that greatly improved my look and garnered many compliments! These are the benefits of wearing dresses/skirts:

• It is easy to look feminine wearing a dress/skirt. Dresses and skirts come in feminine patterns (e.g., flowers, elaborate designs, lace etc.) and colours (e.g., pink, red, yellow, pastels) that are not seen often in pants. This means that as soon as you put them on you instantly look more feminine. Baggy pants aren't helpful but even a loose, flowing skirt can enhance your femininity. Furthermore, you will look more feminine because you will be wearing a traditional female garment. Dresses/skirts may also prompt you to walk and sit in a more feminine manner and this will make you appear well mannered and elegant. Women who want to look androgynous or masculine do not wear pretty dresses or skirts.
• When you wear a dress/skirt you look more dressed up. Dresses and skirts are basically just tubes of fabric but somehow they make you look less casual. They are definitely more dressy than jeans. People will think that you care more about your presentation even though dresses and skirts are easier to put on than pants (no jumping around to fit into tight pairs or using hangers to pull up zippers!). Many women only wear skirts for special occasions so when you wear dresses/skirts it looks like you are dressing for something special. You will always stand out in highly feminine dresses/skirts when surrounded by other women wearing pants and casual styles. This will make you more attractive to men who prefer feminine women.
• A dress/skirt can give you an hourglass figure. You can buy skirts that emphasize your curves if you have them, give you more curves if you don't have them, and minimize your curves if you have too many. When you wear a skirt (slightly above the knee or lower) no one can tell how large your thighs (I actually looked thinner than I did in pants especially because my lower legs are unusually thin). Skirts that are worn high on the waist (higher than any pants would be worn) can really emphasize the small waists of curvy or overweight women. Wearing things low on my waist makes me look boxy. Some pants are cut to actually look like men's pants and they make my hips look huge (especially when the pockets stick out).
• Dresses/skirts can accommodate for weight fluctuations. Pants with elastic waist bands tend to look awful, but many skirts are made of stretchy spandex material or loose flowing material! If you gain weight the skirt still fits and hugs your body. If you lose weight is just looks like a looser skirt and you can add a belt. Pants that are too tight or loose do not flatter the body at all. So if you accidentally put on a few pounds over the holidays or if you are on a weight loss program you may not need to rush out and buy new pants. This will allow you to keep your favorite clothes and save money.
• Dresses/skirts can actually be very comfortable. I think girls may avoid dresses because they are warned about getting them dirty and are not allowed to play in their "good clothes". But adult women do not worry about getting dirty or being able to run around, so these things are no longer a problem. Dresses/skirts can be made of comfortable stretchy material including cotton and jersey fabrics that breathe and stretch. On a hot day it is very uncomfortable being squeezed into tight pants. I was also pleasantly surprised that my legs didn't get very cold in dresses/skirts. I also wear them in the winter with tights and high boots. You can find comfortable dresses to wear at home too and you can wear flattering night gowns.
• A great dress or skirt will always be beautiful and in style. Although designers come up with new fashions every season, a good skirt or dress will always be in style. A black skirt or summer dress will always be a great part of your wardrobe. Flower skirts have been in fashion for decades. The little black dress is a wardrobe staple. Certain styles like capris, harem pants, or certain jeans can go out of style quickly. 

I love skirts and dresses and they make me look fabulous!