Friday, October 19, 2012

Self-Help Articles for Black Women

In this post I will present a list of some great self-help articles from Pick the Brain and Life Hack. I love these websites because they provide quick and easy to read articles about how to improve your life. These ideas are very common in self-help, self-improvement, life skills, psychology, and even philosophy type websites, books, and seminars. This is the type of thinking that I am used to (it's automatic for me) but it is very foreign to some people. They are written for a wide audience and not specifically for Black people so certain dysfunctional "keep it real" ideas are not there. For example, I just shake my head when I hear people advocating that BW don't leave dangerous communities because the bad people will follow them anyway or that it is their duty to stay because that somehow helps the community!? I also shake my head when I hear people say find a man with "potential" (who has never achieved anything in his life) and your love and support will make him great (no, only he can make himself great). These ideas are highly dysfunctional and go against common sense!

Another thing I like is that the sites are not just posting complaints or negative events while providing no solutions and expecting someone other than the author to handle the situation. There is no pleading for readers to "do something" about the writer's concern, get outraged, form a committee, come up with solutions, or start a movement. There are no accusations that unconcerned readers are somehow part of the problem, traitors, brainwashed, or the enemy. There is no "We", it is only about what individuals can do to improve their own lives so it is VERY individualistic. This is quite different from some Black blogs where there is a huge "WE" always present, one Black person's struggle/burden is everyone's struggle going back to slavery, all Black people must help every other Black person, and you must be an outraged and confrontational activist at all times. On many Black blogs the only time personal responsibility comes up is when other people, not even involved in the issue, are pressured to do something about it!? For example, when outsiders give the complainer suggestions they are given 101 excuses why they can't take personal responsibility and why outsiders MUST be the ones to devote their time to helping them and fighting the system (the complainer is toxic). These expectations are just tiring, overwhelming, and too much for people who have their own issues to deal with. It just creates outrage but no real changes, and when no change happens that leads to hopelessness.

Dysfunctional ideas like those are totally absent in non-Black self-improvement writings (so I would recommend them if you are tired of the dysfunctional ideas and endless complaining). However, most of these ideas are also commonly heard on BWE blogs...the ideas are not new and they are common sense to many people! This may be why some people can not tolerate BWE blogs because they are more used to dysfunctional "keeping it real" ideas instead of self-help and self-improvement ideas. I think that these types of articles are what one needs to read and believe if they really want to improve their lives. These are the ideas that successful people believe.

How to detox your life of negative people and feel good about it (Very important): "Definition of a toxic person- A person who complains and dumps their problems on you but doesn’t do anything to change their situation. Someone who is not supportive. Someone who makes you feel badly about yourself. Someone who shoots down your bright ideas, big goals, or bold (and risky) decisions. Toxic people are usually in a place in their life where they are not open to constructive feedback or changing, so they are stuck in their current situation and don’t have the insight to see beyond their own struggles."
10 ways to instantly build self-confidence
How to build self-discipline (Excellent): "Self-discipline involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life."
10 natural ways to stop feeling depressed
How to motivate yourself- self-motivation
6 ways to stand out from the crowd (career focused)
16 ways to connect with anyone
How to tap into the power of positivity
20 practical soft skills everyone should learn (pretty good!)
14 tips to help you build more self confidence

1 comment:

  1. Oh I really love the sites that you brought us attention to! My favorite one is zenhabits!