Would I say I'm anti-feminist, no since I do agree with many of the things they do and have done. But I have the right to talk about the things I don't agree with. I thought about calling myself an egalitarian but after reading a bit about it I don't think it describes me either because I don't believe all lifestyle choices are equal, I think some people are better at some jobs/roles than others, some people earn privileges and prestige, and some people (e.g., children) can't handle the same rights and responsibilities as others. If I say I'm an egalitarian then I would be placing myself with the same people who have no problem with the (c)rapper's lifestyle, being promiscuous, taking drugs, getting black out drunk, not taking responsibility etc. and "respects" everyone else's lifestyle. That is so not me!
Other people often argue that people shouldn't bother to get married because so many marriages end in divorce. When I hear that I always think, "so what if they end in divorce?" I mean, a lot of people fail or have to drop out of university, but I didn't let that stop me from going and trying. If I had listened to the people saying school was a waste of time, so many people fail etc. then I would not have gotten my degrees. A lot of people are let go from their jobs so should I not bother to work? Some people never get into their desired career so should they not even try? Many people change careers 2-3 times in their life and may only stay in a job for 10 years, so was that a total waste of time? Didn't those jobs fulfill their needs for a period of time? Even if I get married and it ends after 20 years, so what? 20 years is a long time and I want that experience. In twenty years I will be 54 and right now I'm not thinking about what my life will be like at 54, I'm focused on my present experiences and my desire for present happiness. Even though up to 1/3 marriages in Canada end in divorce prior to 30 years, who says I won't be in the other 2/3 that don't divorce? Some people let fear of failure prevent them from doing things in life, they may be underachievers, yet when it comes to marriage people act like these people are brave to not get married out of fear of divorce.
Well back to the feminist arguments, these may be considered "radical feminists" but many of them are well known, they have written books I have actually heard of, these books are often read in universities, and many of these women are lecturers, professors, and heads of women's studies departments. So I think I'm just going to post links to articles so that you can read and decide for yourself if there are some feminists who are against marriage and would rather have women become single mothers with no involvement from the fathers. Get mad at them, not me because I'm just providing links to things they have said that are readily available on the Internet and in their writings.
I did find one interesting quote stating that feminists need to tone down on the anti-marriage rhetoric because it puts them at odds with liberal feminists and most other women...good advice. Let's add anti-marriage messages to my list of other reasons why I can't support Third Wave feminism and even some earlier wave feminism (also on the list: the ignoring of non-White women, man-hating statements, promoting promiscuity as liberating and empowering, endorsing single motherhood as though it's easy, and the rejection and ridicule of feminine women, women who try to look attractive, women who wear makeup and dresses, women who want to have relationships with men, women who would rather be stay at home moms than career women, women who don't want to compete with men, and women who don't want to act and look like men).
Articles about anti-marriage statements made by feminists:
- Marriage and family: an ideological background: EXCELLENT! Apparently nowadays believing in marriage and having intact nuclear families is "conservative" when it used to just be "normal". Interesting that some feminists, such as Betty Friedan of The Feminine Mystique and Germaine Grier, were against marriage and their work was used to argue against marriage but later on they changed their minds! Some women spouting this stuff may end up changing their minds after millions of women listened and acted on their teachings.
- Who wants to marry a feminist? Very interesting! When some feminists got married some other feminists called them traitors.
- Young, feminist, and...married
- Can a person be a feminist and still believe in marriage? Really good except the last two paragraphs. "Moderate, mainstream feminists have long rejected this animus against marriage; the vast majority of such feminists either are married or intend to marry...Radical feminists...seek to undermine the nuclear family of married father, mother, and children, which they label the “patriarchal family.” As feminist leader Betty Friedan has warned, this anti-marriage agenda places radical feminists profoundly at odds with the family aspirations of mainstream feminists and most other American women."
- Criticism of marriage on Wikipedia (there is a part about feminist criticisms)
- The case against marriage
- Desperate feminist wives: Article describes large study showing that housewives are happier than women who have to work. "But the most interesting data may be that the women who strongly identify as progressive—the 15 percent who agree most with feminist ideals—have a harder time being happy than their peers, according to an analysis that has been provided exclusively to Slate. Feminist ideals, not domestic duties, seem to be what make wives morose. Progressive married women—who should be enjoying some or all of the fruits that Freidan lobbied for—are less happy, it would appear, than women who live as if Friedan never existed." WOW!
- Straw feminists setting fire to marriage material: This is a woman giving her strong opinion.