Empowerment or Sexism?

I just watched this video, by a feminist that totally contradicts all of the so-called feminists who act like it's empowering to sleep with as many men as you what whenever you want. Jenna Marbles said it differently but this vlogger is basically saying that some feminists may have fooled themselves into thinking being promiscuous is empowering and just embracing their sexuality (skip to 6:44 for the main point). This is why I can't get behind modern Third Wave feminism because they are often saying two completely opposing things so what am I supporting? If you support anything and everything then you really support nothing. All that stuff about "feminism just means you support equality" is way too simplistic and based too much on comparisons to men instead of just making sure women are happy and respected (i.e., different but equally valued and respected). The whole "men do it so women should be respected when they do it" argument sounds ridiculous when the behaviours in question are negative for everyone. For example, being promiscuous, drinking too much, swearing, fighting etc. are negative for men and women so why are women fighting to be respected when they do those things??? Things could be just as equal if men were encouraged to not do those things and stop seeing them as signs of masculinity! Let me put it this way, supporting promiscuity is supporting allowing men to use your body for their pleasure who don't care, respect, or want a relationship with you. Some will argue that many women get pleasure from the sex, but hey, prostitutes and porn stars get paid for their work and they might actually like it but are they not still being used? Women may say, "well I'm using the men too" but sorry, you are the ones who say we live in a patriarchal society where men are in power so no matter what, he has more power than you and is thus using you more than you are using him.

How is it possible that some people look at Lady Gaga and Katy Perry prance around half naked allowing themselves to be sex objects and they are shocked when the women say they are not feminists? (Katy Perry not a feminist video, Lady Gaga not a feminist video, Taylor Swift isn't a feminist either). Um wasn't that obvious? But to some younger women showing your body and sharing it with whomever is being an empowered woman and feminist! So basically it seems to me, being a feminist means being okay with anything other women do and doing anything you want so long as you don't shame or criticize other women, especially if they end up getting hurt! Oh actually that shaming and criticism thing is only okay  sometimes...like any time you think another woman isn't being your ideal version of a feminist or any woman criticizes or shames another woman, then you are free to tear those people apart! I find it highly amusing that feminist Naomi Wolf is criticizing Katy Perry's Part of Me video (actual VIDEO and I like this song) for the army footage when past feminists fought so hard to get women into the army!?? So hey all you military women, you are anti-feminist! (sarcasm) Yeah, I guess feminists don't need military protection? Way to honor the troops Naomi :) To me that video is totally feminist and empowering so I'm not understanding why it's being called anti-feminist (it reminds me of the film G.I. Jane).

Lol I just can't drop this Jenna Marbles issue because I just read some feminist blogs and comments about it. It really seems like there is a group of young feminists who are REALLY naive and unable to distinguish fantasy ideals from reality. These young women are saying that they don't think twice about doing things that most people, through common sense, personal experience, or hearing horror stories would never do. Or most people would not be surprised and would take some responsibility if they did these things and something negative happened. It's as though these women are incapable of weighing the pros and cons and the possible negative and positive consequences of their actions. All they do is trust other people to not harm them, and work hard to brainwash the world into thinking women are incapable of protecting themselves from harm, and therefore shouldn't even bother trying. When there is some risk (e.g., 30% risk of unpreventable harm), instead of taking the common sense route of trying to protect themselves these women decide it is pointless trying to protect themselves in any way.

It's as if they think their belief that certain things are unfair is like some sort of shield that will protect them from harm. Or they just don't think about potential harm and instead are more focused on whether others will blame them for their misfortune after. They don't even think about how awful being harmed would be to them, long term effects (or even death) and use that fear to stop them from doing risky things. So these women want and support doing WHATEVER they want and act shocked when others do WHATEVER they want that ends up hurting them. I have a strong belief that women are learning this from schools or online reading not from their parents because any caring parent warns their kids to not do potentially dangerous things. Where's the common sense? Why is there NO considering of their personal responsibility to protect themselves and just finger pointing at others to protect and respect their rights? Have they never seen the news or heard of bad things happening? How can they not imagine that some people out there don't care to protect them and actually want to hurt them? Maybe they are just being hypocrites and saying they support doing things that they would never do because they actually know those things are terribly risky!

Ok, I guess it's not helpful to criticize feminists without suggesting solutions that could change my mind about them. So I suggest: 1) Feminist leaders need to make a fact sheet about what feminism actually is, maybe 1 page of numbered points outlining what they support and believe and what they don't support and believe. They need a brief and universal statement so people, including feminists, understand what feminism is. 2) State that they do not support the use of the word "slut" and that calling their march "Slutwalk" and wearing skimpy clothes during the march was a mistake. 3) State that they support women's choice to be traditional women who do not want to act like men and state this is not anti-feminist. You must fight for these women too. 4) State that they will not endorse or support women engaging in harmful behaviours just because men do it. 5) Stop insisting that all women are feminists instead of letting women choose whether or not they believe in your fact sheet. Women deserve the right to say whether or not they agree with you and you have no right to label them. 6) Admit that most feminists are privileged White women and that your work focuses on them. Then start helping underprivileged and minority women much more and stop ignoring them (e.g.,  fighting the misogyny in rap music and the ignoring of missing women of colour in the media). If feminists do these things then I will support them, until then I can't call myself a feminist. In the meantime I will just not use the label to describe my self and will just concisely state what I believe to avoid being misunderstood and judged for things I don't even believe. The onus is on feminists to define and inform themselves of who they are not on women to read numerous books and articles and come up with a vague idea.

Related Videos:
Video trying to figure out Lady Gaga is a feminist (good grief now in this video she says she is a feminist!)
Video trying to figure out if if Nikki Minaj is a feminist (OMG Nikki Minaj does not support promiscuity and thinks it lessens a woman's value!? She denies ever being loose or easy. The language is so foul I can't believe those little girls on Ellen are allowed to listen to her music)
Katy Perry and feminism
Katy Perry's aversion to feminism shows that feminism is still radical (EXCELLENT)
Are Taylor Swift and Katy Perry killing feminism? I guess slamming other women is okay as long as you identify as a feminist and they don't (sarcasm).
Don't go calling Taylor Swift a feminist (also mean and insulting. Actually I can think of a lot of really mean things written by feminists...maybe they should try to be nice like Taylor and then people wouldn't dislike them as much. Being mean to sweet girls really isn't endearing, you come off like bullies and snobs)
Taylor Swift is a feminist's nightmare (wow disagree 100% and I don't even know her music. Lol calls Beyonce evolved and Lady Gaga revolutionary (hmmm, been there done that with Janet Jackson and Madonna)
Why Taylor Swift offends little monsters, feminists, and weirdos (I think this person is insane)

Wow the video below is actually viewed by some as a bad influence and Lady Gaga videos are a much better influence???? Compare to Lady Gaga's Love Game video. These feminists would rather have young girls watching this instead of Taylor Swift??? Yes singing about playing the love game and riding someone's disco stick is revolutionary...maybe when Madonna and Janet Jackson did it decades ago...Another video is Paparrazi...yes so original singing about being famous and how great you are for being famous...killing your boyfriend is much cooler than just daydreaming about him right? I guess there is some message in Gaga's art that is getting lost in translation for me. I can relate to Tayor's video way more than Gaga's.