Friday, March 4, 2011

Tracy McMillian Explains Why Some Women are Single

Tracy McMillian has written an article about why some women are still single and it is pretty good. She has been married three times and had no problems getting married. Take a read HERE. In response, Anslem Samuel has written an article about why some men are not married and I found it to be very interresting. You can read this article HERE.

I think that I am not married for a few reasons:
  1. I have kept myself unavailable for the last five years while I finish school. 
  2. Once I decided to be unavailable I didn't keep up my looks as much as I should have (but I'm doing it now!).
  3. I did not have a pleasant expression on my face because I was very stressed and unhappy so I looked like one of those angry women. I have improved that great deal already by keeping my mouth in a slight smile at all times and it is working! Even when I'm trying to sleep I have this slight smile. Sometimes out of the blue I will feel that there is something weird about my face, then that I'll realize I'm not smiling and correct it! It's been almost two weeks since I started doing this and it's now a habit and I look so much nicer and more approachable. It also has an effect on my mood because I feel happier. Someone asked me how I was the other day and I automatically said "Very good" instead of my usual "good" or "fine" when there wasn't anything very good going on at all. This is the best thing ever!
  4. I did not make any attempt to meet men and I live in a place where guys don't just ask you out at school, the mall, or on the street. Fortunately I will be moving to Toronto where the are many more dating options so I am VERY excited!
I don't think the other things Ms. McMillian mentioned apply to me. In the past I did go with guys who were "just not that into me" because I thought I could change their minds...I never did and I will not be making that mistake again. 

What stands out for me the most is her advice about not rushing into sex and I agree. I think we should just wait three months because by then you and the man will know a lot about each other. When three months come up you can decide to either break up or have sex because by then you will know if you are a good match and he will probably be ready to have a monogamous relationship. I think that women who are dating should start with dating a few guys. When one says they want to commit and you really like him, then you stop dating the others. When the three month point comes up, decide if you still like him, and if you don't then break up and move on to dating a few men again. Don't waste time hoping things will get better because in the beginning things are supposed to be great and if they are not then that means something. 

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