Great Shows With Desirable Black Women

This is a followup to my previous posts, Great TV shows starring Black women and List of shows starring Black women. There are a lot of great shows out there and there are some new ones starting next year so I'm excited!

1) I have to of course start with Scandal again, my favorite guilty pleasure every Thursday...mmm Scandal...That show gives me the vapors! Each episode doesn't always have a romantic scene between Olivia Pope and the President but when it happens...well you will hear numerous OMGs from me and I will either be holding my mouth shut or clutching my chest. The show is THE BEST THING EVER for me. The amazing thing is that now Kerry Washington is 'the Black Actress of the moment' on television and she is a feminine and elegant Bl
ack woman! She is on all the magazine covers and people are looking at her and desiring her. When she poses for photos she is a lady and always wearing feminine clothing. I am so happy for her and happy for Shonda Rhimes for creating this amazing show!

2) People who love Science Fiction should really give Eureka a try! The show has wrapped after five seasons but it was really enjoyable, funny, and cute. Sally Richardson Whitfield is the lead female on the show and she is GORGEOUS! She was pursued by three different men on the show and these men wanted to marry her. She also had some nice wardrobe pieces. Also, in the last two seasons there was another Black female character played by Tembi Locke. Including male actors and children there were 5, yes 5 Black characters on the show towards the end!

3) Suits is such a great lawyer show! I just love the dialogue and the office politics. The reason I started watching the show was to see EBW Gina Torres shine! She is drop dead gorgeous, in charge, and well dressed on the show. Unfortunately she hasn't had any romantic relationships on the show really so I hope this is remedied. However Meghan Markle is also on the show and she is the love interest! So this show actually has 1.5 Black women :) This show will show you how to wear a pencil skirt.

4) Franklin and Bash is a funny and entertaining show with lots of eye candy! Incredibly again this show has 2 Black actresses! EBW Garcelle Beauvais stars as a lawyer and Dana Davis works as Franklin and Bash's private investigator. I need to see the women in more romantic scenes though please!

5) Castle is a great detective drama that actually has 2 Black actresses! They are not the leads but they are part of the cast. Penny Johnson stars as the police chief and she is hard as nails like every police chief on television. You will remember her is as the evil President's wife on 24. Also Tamala Jones stars as the medical examiner and she does have a romantic pairing for a while. She is very cute :)

6) I just got into watching Revenge after seeing images of it on Tumblr. Well Ashley Madekwe is a member of the cast and she is an attractive and desirable woman. The first season was CRAZY and I loved it! This season is a bit more soap opera-ish but still great. I LOVE all the amazing dresses everyone wears on the show! They are all highly feminine women. Also, for all those people who love to bash the adultery in Scandal...Madeline Stowe is the lead villian and she is also an adulterer as is almost everyone else.

7) I really like the show Nikita! I really liked the original show that aired in the 90s too. This version is different but just as exciting and filled with sexy spies. In the first season Tiffany Hines is a pretty mean girl unfortunately but she's there. In the second season Lyndie Greenwood is a very feminine computer expert who is romantically linked to Birkhoff, the original computer expert (who fantasizes about her). She has an adorable wardrobe ;)

8) At first I didn't like Warehouse 13 but it grew on me. This is a science fiction sort of show where the agents have to collect items that have special powers. Genelle Williams is a member of the cast but she doesn't do much...but she's there with awesome natural hair lol. Also CCH Pounder has a recurring role so the show employs 2 Black actresses!

9) Fringe is another great science fiction show that I believe is in it's last season. Jasika Nicole stars as adorable Astrid also with amazing hair I love to watch! I didn't like this show at first either because it seemed so technical and I had to pay such close attention to understand what was happening. But after a while I got used to the dialogue and got into the story. It's the kind of show, like Lost (same creators), where you really have to see every episode and pay attention to everything so you can understand what's happening. Unfortunately there were no romantic relationships for Astrid :(

10) The Secret Circle was a great show about teenaged witches starring adorable Jessica Parker Kennedy. I enjoyed it but it was cancelled after one season. I hear she is on a show called Teen Wolf with another Black actress, Bianca Lawson.

11) I am hesitant to mention The Vampire Diaries because I HATE THIS SHOW but I guess other people like it. I just watched it for the good looking guys but it stars Kat Graham as a witch. She did have a romantic paring but she doesn't get enough of it to satisfy me. I hate how she keeps getting hurt helping her selfish and dangerous vampire friends.

So that is A LOT of shows staring Black women. I don't play the 'she's biracial, too light, or she's not Black enough game' so comments about that will probably be deleted. After doing this post it's pretty amazing to see that there are shows that actually employ two Black actresses usually without any Black males in the cast to pair with them. So it's like when they cast for a minority role they are giving them to the women on these shows. Plus, on almost all of the shows where the Black woman has a romantic interest that relationship is interracial. Maybe this is because they filled their 'quota' for minority roles on the show. Or maybe it is because they are no longer trying to make sure Black people are only paired with other Black people so they just pair up their cast members regardless of race. I actually think that is progress because they are allowing Black actresses to play roles that don't focus on race that a woman of any race could play. I also notice that none of these shows actually focus on race at all which is amazing (and maybe why they don't care about interracial relationships). A lot of these shows are the ones you would see on the Sci Fi Channel so if you are not into these types of shows then you are missing out on all of these great actresses.

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Shonda Rhimes is really making things happen!

Touching Black Women's Hair

NOTE: This is not a post about letting random White people you don't know come up and grab your hair without asking. Please keep that in mind while reading this post :)

It's really interesting the way someone can love something while others will hate it. I think it really all depends on your personal experiences (socialization), opinions, your environment, and the way you see the world.
Touching Black women's hair seems to be an issue for some. It's amazing how many women become outraged over the idea that someone wants to touch their hair! It creates anger! I have constantly seen the response, "Why should I let them touch my hair, I'm not in a petting zoo!". No one said you were an animal in a zoo but why do you equate touching a WOMAN's hair with touching an animal? First of all, why are YOU comparing yourself to an animal in a zoo?!! Did the person say, "you remind me of an animal so I want to pet you?" Did they say "you look like a woolly dog so can I pet you?" NO! They usually say "your hair is so pretty/amazing/full/big/coily etc. can I touch it?" It is you who are reminded of racist sentiments that rush to your mind. Isn't it hard always thinking such hurtful thoughts all the time? Why is it your natural impulse to think the person is a racist and has bad intentions instead of good intentions and curiosity? Are they treating you like an animal even if they are Black? If not, then why do you have a problem with Black people touching your hair? Okay, you may not want strangers to touch you, understandable.

But why in the world can't your friends, family, or dates touch your hair? You mean a guy can kiss you or sleep with you but he can't touch your hair??? This is a case where ignorance really is bliss because if your mind was not so filled with thoughts and stories about racism then you would actually enjoy having your hair touched. I had it done last night and I loved it! And guess what...I touched his hair too and it felt good! Did you know that many men LOVE to have their heads touched and massaged by women? If it is so horrible then why do they like it? One of your most powerful romantic tools as a woman is the power of your touch...use it instead of giving up sex so easily! Is this about weaves that you are ashamed of? Some many women say I love to change up their style, it's just hair so it's not important, White women wear weaves etc. so why make a fuss if it's not big deal? Is this about using greasy products? Well then maybe you need to stop buying that useless crap that's marketed to us and start using something different. I don't use any grease or oils on my hair and it feels fantastic (I'm all about super moisturizing with conditioner).

I think this is weird. Why are you so defensive and closed off? Why is this such a big deal? I get grossed out when people burp or pick their noses, but touching my hair, even by strangers doesn't anger me. I just don't feel the way you do about this issue. Here is the link to another funny (but crude) VIDEO about a man's views on the issue. 

Black ladies, do you realize that women of other races let their friends, family, and romantic interests touch their hair? It is a sign of affection and it feels good to the woman and the person touching their hair. People would not allow or try to do it if it didn't feel good. I get that it may be annoying if a stranger just grabs your hair without asking or if you are a germaphobe but if someone you know asks why make such a big deal over it? It make you look like a nutbar! It's your hair not your breast or something! People don't try to touch smelly, dirty, ugly hair. They touch hair that looks like it would feel good or at least not unpleasant. I would think that after having a horrible experience touching nasty hair people would stop trying to do it, so obviously they have had good experiences with it. The people who ask to touch have probably also had the pleasure of having their hair touched. This may explain why some are shocked by your aversion. It reminds me of how weird it is when people react negatively to a compliment...that goes against the complimenter's experience giving and receiving compliments.

The whole hair thing also reminds me of those stories of babies raised in Russian orphanages. You can read about the benefits of touch in this article called Touching Empathy. It's like some Black women are deprived of being touched in a good way and the article explains all the positive things that these women have not received. It's really an unfortunate thing. But there is a reason why hugs and massages feel good and they have nothing to do with you being treated like an animal in a zoo! These things are pleasurable, this is the "good touch." Ask yourself how often you received the "good touch" from family, friends, and love interests in your life? Are you uncomfortable showing or receiving physical affection? If so then you are missing out on one of the most enjoyable things in life. If you have received the "bad touch" and that is the reason why you don't like being touched then this may actually be good for you so you can find out that not all touch is horrible. You need to desensitize yourself to the anxiety raised when someone touches or wants to touch you. This also reminds me of all of those movies where a person is afraid to do something they have never done before and an experienced teacher tells them to "let go of your inhibitions" because they will see there is nothing to fear and it is their thoughts that are keeping them back from experiencing something that could positively change their life. Maybe it would help you to let someone you care about touch your hair and you could touch theirs. I think Black women need to get over this issue and allow themselves to feel what other people are experiencing.

Someone may come back stating during slavery this, during Jim Crow that, racists think A, B, and C as reasons why they won't let someone they know touch their hair. I don't see the point in referring to the way people acted so far in the past (before many were born) or to what happened in another country. My being Canadian from the Caribbean is probably part of the reason why I don't look to those things as reasons why someone shouldn't be allowed to touch my hair. I also know my hair feels amazing so I have nothing to fear. I guess when it comes to touching my hair that's one issue where I'm extremely liberal. I've heard that in some countries there are actually people called "Untouchables" because of their social caste, they are treated horribly, and they are prevented from having the opportunities that the rest of society enjoys. I think that's awful. Why are you labeling yourself untouchable? What's the worst thing that could happen if someone touched your hair? It's one thing if you used too much product or it's too dry so you think the person will react negatively, but thinking up all of these racist, animal in a zoo fears is really, really excessive.

But you can do whatever you want to do and you don't have to let anyone touch your hair ever...do what you want. I'm writing about this because I find it annoying when people put out statements saying "never touch a Black woman's hair" because I am Black and I don't want people to treat me differently from other women  :)

Related Articles:
Evidence that little touches do mean so much (excellent)
Touching makes you healthier
The benefits of human touch
Touchless society (video)
Hair touching: why I don't necessarily mind it
Black women want their heads rubbed too
Playing with her hair: Does it make sense?
Pick up artists are actually teaching men to touch women's hair (some foul language)
Advice from AskMen.com, "Maintaining their gorgeous locks isn’t the only reason women go to their hairstylists so often. The process of wash, cut, color, and styling can actually be quite a stress reliever. Running your hands gently through her hair is a surefire way to send tingles down her spine. Let your fingers massage circles from her temples to the nape of her neck and she’ll be putty in your hands." not applicable to  some Black women I guess.

Just because...Edgy pixie cuts are back, but do they kill your attraction?
Why do men like women with long hair? "Another reason why men love long hair in women is that, they love to touch it. Men love to touch women, hug women, they like to think about touching your soft hair and it's very attractive to them."
Do men prefer long hair on women? The answer is yes

Staying Away From Controversy and Online Activism

I think that being a positive person and surrounding oneself with positive things is very important for one's health and success. Being around negative things, living in a negative and hostile environment, and being around negative or draining people can bring you down and derail you from your personal goals and focus on the positive things in your life. In my offline life everything is going great and I am not surrounded by negativity...so why do I allow that in my online life? I know plenty of people who don't even read blogs or comment at all! 

As many people have noticed, the internet can bring out the worst in people and sometimes that is the case with me. Oh I have improved so much in terms of avoiding commentary by Black males about Black women and those Men's Rights videos criticizing women because those were so negative, hostile, misogynistic, vile, and full of foul language and they just made me so angry. I think that in the past few months I have only watched and made a negative comment on one such video (it was restrained and poised though). I don't feel the need to watch any more. I also avoid listening to many videos that contain foul language, I really have no tolerance for them and I feel no obligation to suffer through that vulgarity in order to hear a person's supposedly important message. 

But what I am realizing is that I have to be extremely vigilant about commenting on controversial African American (AA) women's issues on other blogs! One reason is because VERY often discussions of the negative experiences of AA women end up asking the reader to "do something", "fight something", "come up with solutions", and "solve the problem" and as you know I no longer feel the obligation to "lift up the race". I have no intentions at this time to do anything (other than signing a petition) to remedy any injustices and inequalities although I would be glad to see the improvements. Most people online probably feel the same way but won't say so and although everyone has opinions most are not activists. 

All I am willing to do at the moment is be a good person, possibly mentor someone offline, and lead by example.  This is a blog about improving myself and my feelings about being a Black woman and it is not an activism site. Someone may benefit from it as they would from a self-help book but I do not want to be involved with online activism. I tried that before and it ended badly. Furthermore, other than changing an individual person's behaviour and thinking I do not think that online discussions about Black issues change anything on a systematic level because it is all talk and no plans for action on a systematic level. There is no point getting angry at an individual's commentary when it really won't change things systematically anyway. It is just arguing with minimal benefit to anyone so it is exposing myself to negative issues and commentary that has a negative effect on me for no good reason.

One may argue that exposing myself to these issues will raise my "awareness" of what is going on for Black women and staying away from these messages will result in me being unaware, out of touch, and uncaring perhaps like Marie Antoinette. Well since I am Canadian I think I should focus more on issues where I live (that I have mostly been ignoring because I found it boring) instead of African American issues (that tend to appear more extreme or in the case of televised news, more entertaining). I will have to remember that I am a passive observer of all American content, not to take it personally, and not to co-opt the anger of someone else because I have no reason to be angry in my life. Yes of course there are injustices and inequalities but right now I don't see the benefit of making myself upset about them out of some "race loyalty" while I should be focusing on my personal goals. 

Although racism of course does exist in Canada there are so many differences when compared to the U.S. For instance Black people are only about 1.3% of the population (I think) and the largest minority is Asian; most of our Black media images are from the U.S. and is extreme compared to my middle class life; most of us came from the Caribbean and there is little discussion of the impacts of slavery which comes up in every discussion of African American issues; it's way more accepted to befriend, date, and marry interracially so race issues don't have to be as salient; and just from my experience people are not as angry and focused on race. So I am willing to be out of touch when it comes to U.S. racial issues and don't see the point of being constantly outraged about what is happening where I don't live. Some may be offended by this but really, how concerned are you about what's happening in Canada if you don't live here? It's normal to be more concerned about where you actually live.

So I think that I'll keep focusing on self-improvement, becoming an EBW, starting my career, dating, and starting a family in the near future. I'll restrict how many controversial U.S. articles I read. When I do read I won't bother commenting on controversial American issues unless I agree with the author and won't bother saying anything if I disagree. I won't come to the rescue of anyone online as I would for someone I actually know. I'm going to restrict myself to being positive in all of my comments for a long time in order to foster the feminine trait of being pleasant and agreeable. Of course I can disagree but I won't go around saying I disagree or getting into arguments online. We have to remember that the internet is a new thing and people in the past did not spend hours reading controversial issues and arguing online! Instead they focused their time talking to people they actually know where there are consequences for their actions. If and when I decide to volunteer or support something it will be in my offline life and not limited to racial issues. I have no desire to be an activist at this time like many other people. This will benefit me greatly at this time and is a huge burden off my shoulders.