Bellydance for Femininity, Weight Loss, and Fitness

I'm going to take up bellydancing to improve my feminine movement and allure. I also want to do it for fun, weight loss, and exercise. It will be a hobby and I can actually use some of the moves when I go out dancing.  I have had bellydance fitness tapes for a long time so I'm going to bring those out again. But to start I think I'm going to try some free videos online. I like the movements in belly dance and the costumes. It is so feminine! I spoke about wanting to take up a dance before in Feminine dances I want to learn, Lessons we can learn from Brazilian women, and Instantly improve your posture. I actually went to one session of a ballroom dancing class. But I only went once because the class was full of creepy guys I really didn't want to dance with. So I've decided on a solo dance instead. Maybe in the future I will actually pay to take a real class.



A reader suggested before that I watch some Bollywood films for lessons in femininity. I haven't watched one yet but I watched some videos on YouTube. I do like some of the dance moves because some are very much like belly dance moves. Some of the music is okay, not my favorite (because it's hard to enjoy when I can't understand the words), especially when the women are singing really high. But watch this video of Bollywood music scenes and this VIDEO (so cheesy...well maybe it's a comedy), and Bollywood Ladies video.



Do you see the difference between these videos and the ones by Black women in  R&B, hip hop, and pop videos? All of Ciara's videos, like 'Ride' and 'Oh' come to mind (not ladylike at all...gross). Even though there is some skin showing I still think that the women are not being vulgar or overly sexual. They are being more flirty and mysterious. I'm guessing this is due to a low tolerance for overtly sexual women in their culture (aside from the Kama Sutra lol)? Plus a lot of the time the women are smiling too and that seems to make things less sexual. Hmmm...maybe that's the difference between the sleaziness of strippers when compared to burlesque dancers, there's just something there that's more artistic and less vulgar. For some reason the men in these videos look so corny though! I think this is part of the reason why I'm not a fan of musicals. I just always find the music scenes to be corny and the men look silly. It also really stands out for me now that I don't like mustaches! Maybe some stubble or a really short beard but I am not attracted to mustaches on their own lol.

Well I guess the Indian ones aren't technically music videos. There have been some recent Black musicals like Sparkle, Joyful Noise, and Dreamgirls, but I'm drawing a blank about whether there are any Black musicals like the Bollywood films (my mind may just be asleep). Oh, I think Idlewild was sort of a musical wasn't it? But what about some like the regular musicals where they are not about musicians at all and they just start singing and dancing out of the blue? What would they be like? There are so many Black dance movies but I can't think of the musicals right now. That could be an interesting idea.

I also found a video channel by a Black woman named Tiffany Rothe who has a bunch of short exercise videos (around 10 minutes each) that seem like fun. Any exercise is better than nothing and you can break up your 30 minutes a day into 10 minute segments if that is more convenient. I love making use of free things. I really have no excuse not to use these videos for 10 minutes at a time. Here is a link to her 10 minute beginners ballet video.


This is a Brazilian exercise video. Part II

P.S. This is a totally unrelated topic but I just finished watching the show Suits and I LOVE it! Gina Torres is GORGEOUS on that show and I'm glued to the screen whenever she is on. I just wish she would get some romantic action (I want her and Harvey to start something). Plus Meghan Markle is on the show and she is actually part-Black and is the desired and sought after female on the show. Their wardrobe is totally my style and it's pencil skirts and dresses and feminine tops every episode! Excellent EBW role models in my opinion.

I just started watching Eureka and I'm really liking that too! It's pretty funny and Salli Richardarson-Whitfield is on it and she is so beautiful it's just nuts. I'm just on season 1 but there is romantic tension between her and two men on the show! The woman is 44 and Gina Torres is 43 and they are both so fit but not scary underweight. They are all the motivation I need to keep up my looks and figure. Also Vanessa Williams, Gabrielle Union, and Meghan Good are all coming out with new shows and OMG I think Scandal is starting up next week!!!!

The Type of EBW I want to be

I've decided to review the type of woman I want to become so that I can check my progress and what I still need to work on. These are things that I want to achieve but of course I'm not expecting to be perfect. If I achieve these things then I will be the best woman I can be and my idea of an EBW. This is an ideal and not necessarily the ideal woman to anyone reading this blog. Anything with a star is something I haven't made enough progress with.

Appearance

• long, healthy, natural hair (my hair is bra-strap BSL length!)
• clear, toasty-brown skin all over* (I need to exfoliate more and always apply lotion or oil)
• healthy body weight and toned body* (want to lose a few pounds but I still look good)
• make-up that accentuates my features
• feminine fashion style (need to start wearing heels more often)
• good posture and feminine movement 
• smiling often (greatly improved)

Attitude and Behaviour

• Staying poised when under pressure
• Maintaining a positive mood and attitude (not too bad, greatly improved)
• Behaving like an EBW in public and private (improved)
• Not engaging in useless arguments online and offline (I have really improved!)
• Being a good friend  and daughter (need to make more friends too, improved as a daughter)
• Being a fun, joyful, nice, pleasant person (greatly improved)
• Toning down the sexiness (not bad)
• Being interesting to talk to (not bad)
• Helping others * (I help my friends with advice but I haven't been volunteering)

Hobbies and Interests

• healthy cooking * (need some good recipes)
• physical fitness and working out
• physical activities (e.g., pool, tennis, volley ball, golf)* 
• reading (need to do more pleasure reading instead of school related reading)
• self-improvement
• dinner parties *
• sewing and knitting *
• sketching and painting * (know how to but need to actually spend time doing)
• blogging (of course)
• dance lessons *
• learn massage * (another trick for my feminine arsenal)
• travel *
• socializing regularly* (the winter really killed my social life)

Romantic Relationships

• Starting a monogamous relationship * (I'm single)
• Getting married * (not even close)
• Having a baby *(again, not even close)

Career

• Graduate (almost there)
• Get a job in my field * (I have to start looking)
• Do the best job I can *

As you can see from this list, I have made a lot of progress on my journey to becoming an EBW! Most of the progress has involved changing the way I look, my attitude, and my behaviour. I am acting and looking very different from the way I was a few years ago. 

I am not worried about the improvements I need to make in my career because these goals will be achieved in the near future. I'm not even worried about them anymore. As you can see, my career goals do not include becoming the best, starting a company, or anything time-consuming like that. I'll be satisfied with the job, a husband, and kids. 

The areas where I need the most improvement are in my interests and romantic relationships. It may be possible that my interests and romantic relationships could actually intersect. I could take up some sports and meet someone in the process. I could go to dinner parties or out dancing and meet someone. I could also take in community events and meet someone. I just have to get out more and socialize and these things will be taken care of. The winter has really put a hold on some of these things, so I can't wait until the weather gets better. Some of the hobbies also require time and money and it was hard to find time and money while I was busy with school. So right now my priorities are doing what is necessary to graduate, finding a job, and going out and socializing. I'll wait until I earn some money before taking on some of the hobbies :)

This EBW is Learning How to Sew

I have decided to save up to buy a sewing machine! The reason for this is very practical. I lost a lot of weight and now I have over a dozen really nice blazers that are way too big. I have a few options:

1. Do nothing and let the blazers sit where they are because I might gain all the weight back anyway (no way!!!). But what will I wear in the meantime?
2. Donate all the blazers to charity and buy new ones. This will be expensive.
3. Take the blazers to a tailor to have them altered. This will also be expensive. Most of them are second hand and altering may cost most than I actually paid for the!
4. Buy a sewing machine, learn how to use it, and alter all the blazers myself.

I have chosen option #4 because although buying the machine will be an investment it will pay for itself because I won't have to buy new blazers or pay for a tailor. Furthermore, as long as I (and my future family) wear clothes I may need to make alterations. I can already make minor repairs to my clothing by hand, but a machine will be better for the large scale alterations I have to make. Doing all the alterations may take a year, but why not learn a new skill?

This is a traditional female skill but it is useful, and in these economic times it makes sense to do things yourself and not waste money. Many people dream about becoming rich and never cooking, cleaning, or doing almost anything for themselves. But this is reality and I don't have a maid. We throw away too much money to restaurants, housecleaning services, handymen, and other services that people used to just do for themselves. Isn't it better to be self-sufficient and use our hard earned money for more important things? Altering my clothes will make them fit and look better. If any of you have watched "What not to Wear" then you have probably heard them recommend altering the clothes you buy so that they fit better (I watch the show occasionally but I think they way too superficial and narrow-minded).

My mother can sew and I actually learned a little back in high school. But I didn't keep it up because, as was typical for me, I though anything that was traditionally feminine was beneath me and all modern women. I'm thinking differently about it now. I don't think I'll ever start making my own clothes, but I could do other things like make curtains, pillows, place mats, and simple things instead of buying them. Just think about all of those home decorating and renovation shows like "Take This House and Sell It" where a seamstress makes the curtains and pillows...I could do that! It could be a worthwhile hobby :)

Here are some articles on the benefits of sewing:
The Many Benefits of Sewing
Benefits of Sewing
Learn to Sew: Benefits of Sewing
Studies Show Benefits of Sewing