An Elegant Black Woman Speaks Well and Defies the Stereotypes

Is speaking well and sounding educated ever a bad thing? To some people in the Black community it can be. Some people have the belief that speaking well means you are trying to "act White". Because of this, Black people who did well in school, have a good command of the English language, or grew up in predominantly White areas are often accused of "acting White". Who convinced some of us that speaking a language the best you can means you are trying to be something you are not? Who told these people that using slang and poor grammar, that most people can not understand, is being true to your blackness? Someone must have tricked these people! Maybe it was the same geniuses who thought we could "take back" the n-word by using it in every sentence or as a term of endearment!

We all know that there is a negative stereotype that Black people are not smart and speaking poorly just confirms that stereotype! People who don't like us made up prejudiced lies about us and some people are embracing them as the truth and aspirations we should live up to! You are just hurting yourself by conforming to stereotypes and you are dragging us all down. I think that we have to reinvent what it means to "act Black" because today's definition is hurting us. Here are some things I would call "acting Black".

• Acting Black is about risking everything to get an education. I think we all have to remember those hardworking courageous people like the Little Rock 9 who risked their lives to get an education. Think about all the great thinkers like W.E.B. Dubois, Percy Julian, and even Frederick Douglas who fought for their educations when the powers that be wanted to keep them ignorant and out of their schools. 
• Acting Black is about writing and speaking well. Think about the great speech makers like Martin Luther King Jr., Malcom X, and even President Barack Obama? Acting Black is about writing and speaking well and inspiring your people to do better.
• Acting Black is about political activity and activism. Think about the Civil Rights Movement and all of the great activists who fought for equality. They had to be good communicators so that they could inspire the masses and convince those in power about the error of their ways. Use your energy to make positive changes in the world. Vote and get involved!
• Acting Black is about defying the odds. Read some Black history and look for current news about Black people who have defied the odds. People who are unintelligent and ignorant do not become astronauts, they do not have multiple patents, they are not valedictorians, and they are not CEOs. Being Black is about disproving the stereotypes and doing things no one ever thought you could.
• Acting Black is about being on your best behaviour but not denying your heritage. We can be on our best behaviour and still be Black. Think about the Obamas, Oprah Winfrey, and Nelson Mandela. None of these people deny their heritage, but they carry themselves with dignity. They don't feel the need to act ghetto even though they were not wealthy growing up. Acting Black does not mean acting ghetto! Furthermore, many Black people are not from the ghetto so why should they pretend to be something they are not? The way you grew up does not have to determine how you act now, you can always improve. 

I hope that this post has inspired you to improve yourself and defy the stereotypes that have plagued us. Acting ignorant is never a good thing and good behaviour, speaking well, and being educated IS "acting Black" and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. If you need help improving the way you express yourself there are many resources online, books, DVDs, and speech making clubs like Toastmasters. You can always improve yourself! I am making a vow today to never swear out loud, never use slang, and use proper grammar at all times! I will always speak at my best.

Here are some online resources that can help you with your enunciation and diction:

Speak For Success Course (Free)

Quick and Easy Ways to Improve Your Speaking Voice

Diction Exercises to Make Sure they get your Message (pretty good!)

How to Improve your Speech, Voice, and Manner

Proper Pronunciation-What Will Speaking "Proper" English do for you?

Beastly Pronunciations (words we tend to mispronounce)

Diction

Tongue Twisters (extensive)

Tongue Twisters

Good Diction Could be the Deciding Factor in Who Gets the Job

Vocab Tests.com
Diction Exercise (YouTube)

Build Your Vocabulary-Build Your Speaking Skills (Classic Film)

Here are some links about "acting Black":
What is Acting Black?
Acting Your Race (interesting but I disagree with some points)

Is Trying to be Elegant Also Trying to be White?

Searching for websites about elegance, manners, and being a lady brought up some conflicting thoughts. For one, none of the websites I found were owned by Black women (maybe I just have to search better though). Furthermore, 95% of the elegant women posted on the blogs were White besides Michelle Obama! I tried to think of some elegant Black women and it was hard because I've never done that before, but I would put Michelle Obama, Iman, Zoe Saldana, Thandie Newton, Angela Bassett, Nia Long, and Saana Lathan on my list. The websites I visited tended to have black and white photos of actresses who died long ago like Audrey Hepburn (I have never even seen one of her movies), Grace Kelly, Eva Gabor and others that you can see in this article where there isn't a single Black actress.

Just look at this photo! When I look at it (just the photo not the real actress who I heard was very nice) I think snobby, upper-class woman, born into wealth, who never had to do anything for herself, who would never give a Black person the time of day unless they were serving her. Many of the photos on the websites had women dressed in 1920s, 30s, and 40s clothing or even Renaissance style paintings with no dark faces in sight. So if I go on this endeavor of becoming an Elegant Black Woman (EBW), then doesn't that mean I'm trying to be a White woman?

I took some time to think about it. I think that what would help me more is if I put up photos of elegant Black women so that I can remind myself and others that having manners, poise, grace, and elegance does not have to be linked to race. I will not entertain the notion that Black women must act badly in order to avoid being called White. Why would anyone choose and defend being rude, uncultured, obnoxious, loud, and un-feminine? I certainly will not. I think that women have these traits to varying degrees.

One positive thing that came out of reading websites made by White, Asian, and Indian women was that supressing our femininity and being lax with manners is not simply a "Black thing". Its something women of other ethnicities and countries are also concerned about! So, women losing their ladylike mannerisms is a problem for MANY women in industrialized countries where Feminism has been accepted and women work.