Saturday, June 23, 2012

Being Imperfect and Complaining About Those You Care About

Lol, Shanda reminds me of a cross between Marylin Monroe and Sandra (Jackee from 227) because she has this bombshell look and a sultry yet cute voice :) It's a good video about the fact that no one is perfect and that's okay. All we can do is try our best, try to improve, and be understanding of ourselves when we fail. We can change if we want to. What stood out for me the most was that we have to remember that other people are watching us and that we are role models to others and with that role comes responsibility. We are responsible for our image and if you want to be respected or seen as intelligent, desirable, friendly, marriage material, or feminine then you must present yourself as such instead of feeling entitled to those labels automatically. 

This video sends an important message that I think every EBW should heed. When you complain about someone you may bias the listener against that person. This can be harmful to you if you are complaining about someone you care about (e.g., you boyfriend, husband, child, or friend) because then the listener may treat that person negatively or encourage you to distance yourself from them. In fact, if they insist you leave the person and you refuse that could hurt your relationship with the listener! Talking behind someone's back in a negative manner is never nice but of course people want to talk about their relationship problems in order to cope.

So I think that we have to do such things in moderation, try to not be entirely negative and show more balance, make note of your role in the conflicts, and be aware of the possible negative consequences of complaining. You don't want to become Negative Nancy who is always complaining but never doing anything to improve your situation. Furthermore, if you are speaking so negatively about someone you care about the listener may wonder if you are not doing the same thing behind their back!

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