Some Black Women Are Labeling Themselves "Handicapped"

I'll start off this post with a warning that if you have a physical or mental disability this post may rub you the wrong way so maybe you should skip it. This post is directed towards women like myself who grew up well, have little to complain about, grew up in multicultural areas, and have had pretty good lives. If you did not have the same experience please do not freak out about this post because it was not meant for you. If you have had many difficulties in your life then this post is not about you.

****************************

Last week I was out with friends and we met a nice looking man. He started to speak and it turned out he had a really bad stutter to the point where it took three or four times longer to introduce himself and ask a question than it would take someone without a stutter. When I got home I thought about the man and it got me so upset! I thought about how hard it must be for him to make friends because it was so difficult for him to communicate. I wondered how people treated him and what he was able to do for work. I also worried about what he thought of himself and his future. I felt so sad about it and thought to myself that if I were in his shoes I didn't think I would be able to go on living because it would be too hard, and I probably would not get what I wanted out of life so why bother. I remembered how hard things were for me socially in school and having a stutter like that would have made things even worse. I had no idea how this man could have made it through. 

Flash forward to today when I was reading some blogs and a thought popped into my head, "When non-Black people look at Black people do they feel the same way I did about the stuttering man?" Because of our constant talk about the effects of slavery, racism, and poverty and our need for others to acknowledge these things, do non-Black people consider us to have a physical/mental disability that prevents us from doing what they are able to do? I think this may be true! I do think that some of this disability thinking is due to racism of course because historically racist scientists have promoted the stereotype that Black people are not intelligent. Some of it also has to do with studies that indicate that growing up in an impoverished environment can hinder success and abilities. Another contributor is research that shows the negative impact of stress on people's development and functioning. But on top of these three things there are also Black people who are constantly stating that we are damaged, our lives are more stressful, and life is harder for us than it is for other people! We are endorsing the idea that ALL Black people who are descendants of slaves are damaged and have so much baggage that they are handicapped compared to non-Black people! This mentality is evident whenever someone says they can't/won't/don't/never/only do something because of slavery, racism, or because they are Black.

UPDATE: I am not crazy for noticing this and the fact that it is a problem. This has gotten so out of hand that a researcher is proposing the term Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome to describe this phenomenon! Other Black people are also endorsing the existence of a Willie Lynch syndrome (based on a fake letter!) to explain fighting among Black people! So there you go, Black people are pathologizing themselves and implying that they are suffering from slavery/racism induced illnesses that only affect African Americans. So please go harass those people instead of me because I am against labeling African Americans with these disorders.

Extremes are never good. There is a need to acknowledge slavery/racism/poverty but when we claim that ALL Black people are negatively affected by these things, constantly stressed, hurt, and limited by these things then we are labeling ourselves as handicapped! I understand that the purpose of talking about these things is to bring about change but is it actually helping or hurting Black people now? Black people paint their problems as race-based rather than situation- or individual-based unlike other groups. Other groups have problems but they don't claim that they are due to something historical that has permanently handicapped them (except feminists maybe). I also understand that if some problems are not labelled "Black" then the fear (possibly realistic) is that their problems will be ignored and resources will be diverted to other groups. So I do understand these points but I think that things have gotten to an extreme where many highly functioning Black people are acting and thinking as though they are disabled or victims when they are not. 

Now it is one thing if you actually were abused, grew up impoverished, or actually have a physical or mental disability, but what if you didn't have any of those problems? How could this harm Black girls/women who grew up well and are just as capable as non-White people. Well in school teachers may have lowered expectations and research has shown that when teachers are informed ahead of time that a student has a history of doing poorly then they often grade the student more harshly which continues the history. Conversely, when teachers are informed that a student has a history of doing well (e.g., often assumed of Asian students) then teachers are more likely to give them better grades. The same thing applies when teachers are told that a child gets into trouble. So if Black girls are thought to be disadvantaged then teachers may actually give them lower grades and be harsher about their conduct in school. As we have seen with Black males, many are automatically put into general classes and steered away from college because school staff believe they are unable to do the advanced work other students can do.

This handicapped idea could harm Black women in the workplace. Employers may assume that the potential employee will have difficulty fitting in, there may be a communication problem, behaviour problems, or the woman may be less able to do the job or manage stress compared to a non-Black employee. Because of this the woman may not be hired. If she is hired then the expectations for her may be low, her work may be evaluated more negatively, she may not get promotions because she is assumed to be less capable, coworkers may ascribe behaviour problems to her when there are none, and coworkers may be uncomfortable around her. Coworkers may feel that they have to make special accommodations for "her blackness problem" and they will likely find that inconvenient and unfair because they do not need the same accommodations.

The handicapped idea will also have a negative impact on Black women in regards to dating. Potential suitors may see a Black woman as damaged, carrying too much baggage, being too difficult, and being too different from other women so they choose not to pursue her. They know how to interact with other women but they fear Black women are too different and they will have to make special accommodations for "their Blackness problem". It's as though some of us are saying a man has to have training in how to be with Black women and training in how to cope with "Blackness" before he is qualified to date you! Unless he is trained in how to talk to you, not touch your hair, how to act around other Black people, and how to respond to anything racist then a man would be too inexperienced to cope with your disability (being a man is not enough)! Some men would rather not deal with that and will go for someone who they do not see as being disabled. Why does he need a manual and specialized training to date you and not other women?

I think that if we want to be treated like other women then we have to stop doing things that are so different from them otherwise we will seem handicapped when compared to those women. Other people do not want to deal with these issues, they may accept them for a while out of guilt/sympathy/empathy, but others just won't want to deal with us. I have been VERY GUILTY of labeling myself as handicapped due to Blackness when really I did not grow up impoverished, I had two parents, I was not horribly abused, I experienced limited racism, and like everyone else I was never a slave. I co-opted the anger of other Black people and actually made myself appear handicapped because of that anger, focus on racism, and need to assert my racial-affiliation unlike women of other races. 

These are some of the ways that Black women are making themselves appear handicapped or in need of special treatment/care/accommodations when compared to other women:

• Sensitivity to racism as evidenced by frequent accusations
• Sensitivity to lack of diversity evidenced by constant complaints about it
• Handicapped by feeling less attractive and desirable than other races of women
• Handicapped by only being able to do "Black things" and "keeping it real"
• Difficulty accepting or asking for help because of special independence needs
• Difficulty getting along with non-Black people
• Inability to wear natural hair
• Inability to tolerate hair touching or commentary by non-Black people
• Inability to find a man
• Inability to see non-Black people as attractive, role models, dating partners, or friends
• Predisposition to be overweight because of slavery/poor neighborhoods/genetics/preference
• Predisposition to have a bad attitude caused by constant current/historical mistreatment
• Predisposition to speak poorly due to poverty/keeping it real/hip hop culture
• Inability to exercise due to hair handicap or because "it's for White people"
• Inability to wear feminine clothing because of street harassment/hip hop culture
• Inability to act feminine due to slavery/racism/single moms

Some of the disabilities/limitations on the list can be "cured" by individual women choosing their battles and not complaining all the time about every little thing; being more open in their experiences, activities, and relationships; working on accepting their natural characteristics; engaging in healthy activities that are the norm for other women; trying to be feminine like other women; and trying to improve their lives so that some problems will no longer affect them. Unfortunately, when White women complain about something it becomes a race-less "women's issue" but when Black women complain then it is a "Black issue" and a sign that we are deficient when compared to them. I'm really not sure what to do about this! If we decide to just focus on "women's issues" we know that Black women will be ignored because they will not be the majority who are concerned. I think that it would be helpful if we started labeling some things as "personal issues" that vary from person to person rather than "Black issues" that outsiders will assume we all have. So it helps to have modifiers like "some women", "many women" etc. rather than just saying "Black women have problem X". We all really have to do some deep thinking because maybe some of us actually think we are disabled and that is holding us back from really enjoying our lives and being out best selves.