My Current Wardrobe

I just discovered Polyvore a great site to make online collages! So I decided to make a collage to give you an idea of what I wear. It will also help me identify things that I want to change. It's not bad for a first try but the ones by some of the other users are amazing!

The items in the collage are similar to items I have, but they are not the same items, colours, or prices of the items I own. Prior to my EBW journey I only had hoodies, sweat shirts, turtle neck sweaters, blazers for work, jeans, ill-fitting pants, masculine looking dress shirts, and masculine looking shoes. I didn't like my wardrobe at all. Now I am really liking what I have purchased (almost entirely from thrift stores) but I think I can turn the femininity up a notch by paying more attention to accessories and altering my clothes. These are items depicted below:

Skirts: My favorite skirts are my black pencil skirts because they are comfortable and they emphasize my curves. I also have them in brown and gray. I have peasant skirts in brown, black, and white and they are great for work or running errands. I prefer skirts over dresses because I think I can get many different looks with them.
Dresses: I have some summer dresses, party dresses, and sweater dresses for the winter. I want to try different looks with the summer and party dresses by pairing them with cardigans, blazers, and shrugs.
Sleeveless tops and tank tops: I have so many of these in every colour (especially turquoise!). I like the frilly ones the most. They are great under cardigans, blazers, or low cut tops. I have a few baby T-shirts that are cute for a casual look when paired with a skirt.
Cardigans: I have many of these too. I was influenced to buy them because they look so great on Michelle Obama. I think I should pin flowers or brooches on them more often, wear them with belts, or wear them open because sometimes they make me look boxy. I also have some shrugs that I will wear more often because they probably won't make me look as boxy.
Blazers and Jackets: Blazers are perfect for work or sometimes I wear them as spring jackets. I have to alter many of them so that they fit me better. I have white, black, and beige trench coats and I love wearing them belted at the waist.
Belts: I almost always wear a belt to cinch in my waist and cover the waistbands of my skirts. I love the wide ones that are almost like corsets but I will try wearing the skinny ones too.
Jewelry: I tend to only wear earrings. I love hoops and thread earrings because tiny ones can only be seen if I wear my hair back. I also can't wear dangle earrings with my hair down (my hair and I learned that the hard way!). When I first went natural I actually wore brooches in my hair and it looked pretty, but now I think my big hair gets enough attention as is! I think any more jewelry would be too much.
Cute shoes: I have many pairs of heels but I rarely wear them. I want to get used to wearing them again and I will try to bear the pain! I think the heels will really perfect my look. I just have to stock up on shoe inserts and cushioning. I also have cute flats with bows that I love and some sandals. I have flip flops that I rarely wear because they aren't very classy are they?
Purses: I have four purses and three of them are black (small, medium, and large). I wouldn't mind getting something extra cute in pink or purple. I just don't want to become obsessed with purses.

Dita von Tesse Burlesque Style

Dita von Tesse is a burlesque dancer and fashion designer. She was once married to Marilyn Manson (seriously!). Dita is well known for her feminine retro style that has aspects of 30s, 40s, and pin up fashions that I wrote about in my post "Pin up Girl Style for Black Women". She always makes sure to look her best when in public and I found numerous fashion galleries devoted to Dita and her stylish elegance. She usually wears vintage-style dresses, gowns, dress suits, corsets, and heels and it is rare to see her wearing pants. Her style is so glamorous and it would look wonderful on anyone who has curves. There is nothing hard or masculine about the way she carries herself and she definitely knows how to stand and sit perfectly!

Of course I would not dare to be a burlesque dancer or pose nude but let's just pay attention to her clothing (I am not encouraging anyone to pursue her career). I like many aspects of her wardrobe but for everyday women like myself, too many bold, vintage items may create the look of a costume so don't over do it. I am not a fan of the pale make-up (a little too gothic if you ask me) or the red lipstick, but I like almost everything I have seen her wearing online. I love that she wears her hair curly the way pin up girls did! She has reported that she does her own make-up and hair so it is possible to look great without a stylist. Here are some great links related to Dita von Tesse's style: Tutorial 1, Tutorial 2, Photos, Slideshow 1, Slideshow 2, Slideshow 3, Slideshow 4, Slideshow 5, Style galleries on Polyvore.

Lessons We Can Learn From Geisha

I have been meaning to do this post for a long time. When I first started this blog I watched a documentary about Maiko Training. A Maiko is a young woman who is training to become a Geisha. A Maiko starts out as a normal Japanese girl and she learns how to become the ultimate feminine woman who is desired by most men because of her grace, elegance, and mysterious beauty. It just goes to show, although some aspects of femininity come natural to women, some things can and must be learned in order to appear the most feminine. It includes learning how to move, speak, dress, wear make-up, perform music and various arts, and how to treat men. It takes five years to learn all of this! It reminds me of young women who are sent to finishing school to learn how to be proper ladies. It was hard to find videos about Geisha, just as it is difficult to find videos about etiquette and finishing schools because people want to reserve these skills for the elite members of society (or they want to be paid for the valuable information).

When I started this post I decided to give myself a lesson (a few hours) about Geisha based on what I could find online. So I decided to watch The Secret World of Geisha and Memoirs of a Geisha (other video: Video1). What I love the most about Geisha is the way they move so gracefully and slowly. That is what I really want to learn, how to move in the most feminine manner possible. That is also why I want to learn dance lessons. I really want to learn some Geisha tricks!

Memoirs of a Geisha starring Gong Li

I have to say that I have been a fan of Gong Li ever since I saw her in Raise the Red Lantern years ago. I also loved her in Hannibal and Miami Vice (the movie).  She is always so beautiful, graceful, reserved, and ultra-feminine. I really need to watch more of her films so I can absorb some of her essence! Her photos on Google Images are just breathtaking!

Here are some lessons we can learn from Geisha:

1. Be a fantasy and a walking work of art.  A Geisha is a man's fantasy of a feminine, pure, idealized woman. Make yourself look beautiful and feminine. Walk in a soft delicate manner with small steps. Carry and treat yourself like a precious work of art. Do not allow people to treat you with disrespect because you are priceless! The more you believe this and act this out the sooner it will become your usual way of thinking and behaving. Part of being a fantasy is not revealing everything about yourself as soon as you meet someone. Be mysterious. Also, try not to mention everything you do to look beautiful, keep your grooming habits secret.
2. Be exclusive and only associate with high quality men. Only the most successful, high quality men are able to associate with Geisha. Do not lower yourself by associating with low quality people or they will bring you down to their level and you may pick up their bad habits. If you associate with low quality people onlookers will assume that you are low quality too. If you want to find a good man then you must frequent the places where such men congregate not at a sleazy club or on the street beside the liquor store.
3. Learn how to entertain. Geisha are artists who provide entertainment to wealthy clients. Being entertaining includes learning the art of conversation. Become aware of world events, read non-fiction, tell amusing stories, ask other people questions, and show interest in others. Be a good guest at parties, be on your best behaviour, and learn dining etiquette. You don't have to say everything you are thinking and there is not need to argue all the time. Speak wisely, listen closely, and learn to keep a secret.  Sell your skills and companionship to male suitors, not your body.  Be reserved and learn to control your emotions.
4. Women need to preserve traditional femininity. Women must teach girls and other women how to be feminine because men can not properly teach these things. Men may believe that acting feminine comes naturally and don't realize that it is hard work to learn. There are tips and secrets that we must teach future generations so that we maintain our femininity despite all of the pressure to be androgynous. Gender roles have changed with time and we can keep some of the old and blend with the new. 

Why I Gave Up Wearing the Pants--Literally!

I have given up wearing pants and I'm so glad I have! Almost four years ago I transitioned to wearing natural hair and cut off my relaxed ends. Even though I had nine months of new growth, I did not realize how much shrinkage I would get (about 80%!!!) so my hair ended up looking only about two inches long! That was way too short for me and I thought it made me look unfeminine. It also didn't help that my student wardrobe was mainly jeans, sweatshirts, and hoodies. So I decided I needed to make myself look more feminine to compensate for my hair.

I started by buying jewelry. I think large, colourful earrings look great with natural hair so I bought plenty of those. I also bought necklaces but I just never liked them enough to keep wearing them (maybe I haven't found the right style yet). I also decided my wardrobe needed an overhaul not only to look more feminine, but also because I had gained weight and my pants no longer fit! It wasn't that expensive either because I tend to do thrift shopping. I became frustrated because the pants I tried on did not fit me well. Many Black women have probably encountered the same problem trying to find pants for larger thighs and backsides along with a small waist. If the pants fit the thighs/backside then they are loose around the waist. Any pants that were in my waist size were too tight to pull over my thighs. So I decided to try on some skirts. At the time I had a few long flower skirts that I rarely wore but I still gave it a try. I ended up with pretty, elegant dresses and skirts that greatly improved my look and garnered many compliments! These are the benefits of wearing dresses/skirts:

• It is easy to look feminine wearing a dress/skirt. Dresses and skirts come in feminine patterns (e.g., flowers, elaborate designs, lace etc.) and colours (e.g., pink, red, yellow, pastels) that are not seen often in pants. This means that as soon as you put them on you instantly look more feminine. Baggy pants aren't helpful but even a loose, flowing skirt can enhance your femininity. Furthermore, you will look more feminine because you will be wearing a traditional female garment. Dresses/skirts may also prompt you to walk and sit in a more feminine manner and this will make you appear well mannered and elegant. Women who want to look androgynous or masculine do not wear pretty dresses or skirts.
• When you wear a dress/skirt you look more dressed up. Dresses and skirts are basically just tubes of fabric but somehow they make you look less casual. They are definitely more dressy than jeans. People will think that you care more about your presentation even though dresses and skirts are easier to put on than pants (no jumping around to fit into tight pairs or using hangers to pull up zippers!). Many women only wear skirts for special occasions so when you wear dresses/skirts it looks like you are dressing for something special. You will always stand out in highly feminine dresses/skirts when surrounded by other women wearing pants and casual styles. This will make you more attractive to men who prefer feminine women.
• A dress/skirt can give you an hourglass figure. You can buy skirts that emphasize your curves if you have them, give you more curves if you don't have them, and minimize your curves if you have too many. When you wear a skirt (slightly above the knee or lower) no one can tell how large your thighs (I actually looked thinner than I did in pants especially because my lower legs are unusually thin). Skirts that are worn high on the waist (higher than any pants would be worn) can really emphasize the small waists of curvy or overweight women. Wearing things low on my waist makes me look boxy. Some pants are cut to actually look like men's pants and they make my hips look huge (especially when the pockets stick out).
• Dresses/skirts can accommodate for weight fluctuations. Pants with elastic waist bands tend to look awful, but many skirts are made of stretchy spandex material or loose flowing material! If you gain weight the skirt still fits and hugs your body. If you lose weight is just looks like a looser skirt and you can add a belt. Pants that are too tight or loose do not flatter the body at all. So if you accidentally put on a few pounds over the holidays or if you are on a weight loss program you may not need to rush out and buy new pants. This will allow you to keep your favorite clothes and save money.
• Dresses/skirts can actually be very comfortable. I think girls may avoid dresses because they are warned about getting them dirty and are not allowed to play in their "good clothes". But adult women do not worry about getting dirty or being able to run around, so these things are no longer a problem. Dresses/skirts can be made of comfortable stretchy material including cotton and jersey fabrics that breathe and stretch. On a hot day it is very uncomfortable being squeezed into tight pants. I was also pleasantly surprised that my legs didn't get very cold in dresses/skirts. I also wear them in the winter with tights and high boots. You can find comfortable dresses to wear at home too and you can wear flattering night gowns.
• A great dress or skirt will always be beautiful and in style. Although designers come up with new fashions every season, a good skirt or dress will always be in style. A black skirt or summer dress will always be a great part of your wardrobe. Flower skirts have been in fashion for decades. The little black dress is a wardrobe staple. Certain styles like capris, harem pants, or certain jeans can go out of style quickly. 

I love skirts and dresses and they make me look fabulous!

EBW Tracee Ellis Ross Covers Uptown Magazine

Tracee Ellis Ross is one of my natural hair icons. She is the daughter of famous, classical EBW Diana Ross. Beautiful cover Ms. Ross :)