Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Marry Me: Movie Review

Photobucket A few months ago I watched a great Lifetime miniseries called Marry Me starring the fabulous Lucy Liu! Lucy Liu plays a social worker who believes in fairy tale romances but is suddenly dumped by her boyfriend. Then she  starts being pursued by two different men who want to marry her. The reason why I loved the movie was because of Lucy's femininity and the fact that she was in charge or her life and pursuing what she wanted. He wardrobe was fantastic, ladylike, elegant, and never trashy. I have to see this again just to remember the way she carried herself. It's worth a watch :)

Elite Single Chinese Women are like Elite Single Black Women!!!

Photobucket Wow oh wow! I just read an article that was linked to the Be Exquisite blog (I spent a while catching up on my reading there...great stuff!). It's called Elite Single Chinese Face 'Leftover Lady' Discount. I could not believe what I read! Their situation is so much like the situation of successful African American women trying to find husbands who are on their level.

Everyone knows about the shortage of women in China due to their one-child rule and preference for having a male child. But the article explains that there is an excess of poor men and not enough educated, white-collar, successful Chinese men who are on the same level as the elite Chinese women. So they are having problems finding men. Their parents are telling the women that they are too picky and marriage is more important than their careers. Some of the women are saying they accept that they might never get married and they find fulfillment in their work. There is also a traditional belief that Chinese men should marry down instead of getting someone out of their league (unlike some men I've heard about). These women also don't want to marry down. Here is a similar article about Chinese women having difficulty finding boyfriends (it really sounds like the kind of comments you hear about black women, it's really shocking!!!).

PhotobucketSo, apparently Asian women can be independent, non-submissive, and unwilling to cater to men. Not all Asian women are the same! Some of them take pride in education and their careers and they don't base their happiness on serving a man's every whim. They aren't lowering their standards just to get a man! Wanting to do better and not settle is what many women choose to do, not just Black women! I wonder if their men will start complaining about their attitudes, that their standards are too high, they are unfeminine, or their educations are not important? Will they be called golddiggers because they want someone with a similar income and a degree? Will they be compared to women of other ethnicities because those women marry at higher rates???

I Need To Start Blogging Again

Well I had a great summer! I wore feminine clothes, met a lot of people, flirted and dated cute guys, and really had a good time. Then September came around and I had to work on some things for school. I used some of the things I learned on this blog, but I did slip in some areas, sometimes because it seemed necessary and sometimes because I just wasn't thinking about them while I was having fun.

Well I dressed feminine almost all the time and wore skirts and dresses, my hair down, and make-up. The guys really loved my natural hair and I got plenty of compliments (that I graciously thanked them for with a smile). I was polite whenever someone tried to talk to me and almost never reacted in a negative or aggressive way. Well except one time where an obese guy told me that I looked like I was having a "f****** awful time" (when I was not) and continued to swear and criticize me for not knowing he wanted to dance with me! That was just rude. I didn't swear at him but I asked him what he wanted from me and to go away, and yes I did look angry. It almost ruined my night! He was disrespecting me, maybe I could have looked less angry, but he would not go away but at least I don't think anyone but my friend noticed.

I went out on many dates but nothing serious came out of them. Probably because the guys were way too young for me so I wasn't serious about them either. I started doing online dating, and I'm still doing that, but things seem to have slowed down since the weather started getting colder. At first I did not send messages to guys, but there are so many profiles online, if I didn't say hi then many guys would not have even seen me. I suppose if I had met these guys in real life then I would have smiled or subtly shown interest, so online that takes the form of a wink or a message saying hi :) The guys I met always said that I was fun and although I was sexy, I was classy. I guess with the way my body is shaped I look sexy. Maybe I should minimize that and I was planning on buying some new clothes.

I didn't exercise as much as I should have so I put on a few pounds. I wasn't doing my posture exercises either so I have to get back on track with that. The one thing I remembered to do was to keep a slight smile on my face, which is probably why I was so approachable. I haven't been able to work on any feminine hobbies yet.

Oh, I have probably read every article and seen every video there is about Black women being single or Black women dating interracially. You have probably all heard about that awful Psychology Today blog that denied our amazing beauty but thankfully everyone (except some Black men???) rejected the article. I enjoyed reading articles about Ralph Richard Banks, Ph.D. and his new book "Is Marriage for White People?". I agree with his advice that Black women should date out rather than date down, but I'm also biased because I have always dated interracially and it's not as big a deal in Canada. So I've spent a lot of time reading and watching everything about Black women dating and marriage. Maybe I'll write something about it...or not because everyone seems to be fed up with the subject except me.

So that's everything that has been going on with me and I'll think up some new things to post.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Walking the Walk of an EBW

I haven't posted in a while because my life has taken a pleasant turn. I recently moved back home to the city I love! I have taken the things that I have learned since starting this blog and I'm using them as much as possible.

So far things are going well. I'm dating and so far I have been treated like a true EBW (better than any of my previous dates)! I'm getting along well with my parents for once too. I just feel so happy that I'm back home and I'm getting in touch with my old friends. No arguing, pouting, or being negative. I'm just focusing on how great my present is and how much better it will become. I've also given up watching videos by Black men on Youtube because they made me too argumentative and angry and I have always dated interacially anyways so there is not point. I'm happy with who I like and I don't have to justify it to anyone.

Thanks to the good weather I can wear my feminine clothes, dresses, and skirts all the time instead of bulky winter clothes. I'm going to new places and I'm really open to new experiences. I even started wearing a bright red nail polish (at first I thought it was too much but I love it now...very hot and works well with my skin tone...some reds just don't). I'm getting compliments on my hair too. I'm also remembering to do my posture exercises and to have a pleasant expression on my face :)

So I'll try to think up a new blog post. But in the meantime, if you want to see a film with an elegant looking woman, check out The Tourist with Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. She was always dressed like a lady and men (and even women) couldn't stop starring at her! Also, one of my favorite EBW's, Zoe Saldana is coming out with a new film called Columbiana that looks amazing so I can't wait to see that...perhaps on a date :)