I have to be honest. After seeing the exit poll results and who voted for whom...I'm actually feeling wary of White people. In previous posts I was feeling fine, and not really thinking much about racism at all! I knew things were not perfect but I thought that things were going in the right direction. But the majority of White people in the US voted for Trump, including White women! White women didn't even pick someone in their own image and chose someone who has no respect for women and actually assaulted some of them!? Black women voted for Hillary in droves, she wasn't even Black, but they knew she was better than Trump! You can see the exit poll results HERE. White voters were from all income brackets, not just those suffering or without jobs or something. Non-White people voted for Hillary even if they didn't like her.
You can not in your right mind trust and especially date one of these people. This sight is so scary to me because they could be anybody. I was never into the frat boy type and these guys are a nightmare! Packs of men just like this are terrorizing POC right now! I just see Nazis in this photo, I can't shake it. Where does this hatred come from?
I hear people going on about the hypocrisy of stereotyping all Trump voters as racists and misogynists because we don't like all Black folks or women to be stereotyped. But this is different! After hearing about Trump's plans to herd up Muslims and Latinos, endorsements from white supremacists, offering nothing to Black people, all the sexual assaults and misogyny, lack of experience, and all the other nonsense he was spewing--you still chose to elect this man??? If you voted for him then you are either racist, misogynist, highly unintelligent, or extremely selfish! You cared more about taxes or jobs than for the safety of fellow citizens! His whole campaign was about dividing everyone by race and you went along with it! The whole world is in shock and every international headline I saw was shocked and disappointed in this election (except India for some reason).
This brings me back to my point about feeling wary about White people. Some of you may have felt this way before the election anyway. I don't really feel this way about people I know, but in small, mostly-White areas of Canada maybe they could be like Trumpers. I mean the UK surprised everyone with Brexit too. White people today are more racist than I thought. All the hate crimes that have been committed after the election are horrifying! Is this really 2016? Hate crimes have happened in Canada too. Read a list of hate crimes HERE if you want to be sad.
Why is it that when a Black or Muslim person commits a crime then the media and everyone starts questioning their communities, upbringing, what their elders teach, who they associate with, their religion, music, their history, and even genetics? Why are these questions not asked when a White person commits a crime, especially all those mass shootings and hate crimes? What is it about the White community, White mothers, White males, and White religions that condone these things? What is it about White culture that convinces them that they are better and more human than everyone else, their needs must to be taken care of before everyone else's, and their lives are more important than everyone else's? What is it in their culture that makes so many so selfish and self-centered, unable to share, need to control and subjugate everyone, and never be satisfied with what they have? Is it schools, reading their history, S & M, videogames, sports, religions that show Jesus and God as White men, Santa Claus...what is it? White people have to be accountable for the Trumpers no matter who they voted for until they stop making Black folks accountable for everything any Black person does! They don't get to be "individuals" this time.
It's just so terrifying that these people were all around, maybe you wouldn't even be able to pick them out. In my opinion, if I were you, I wouldn't trust anyone who voted for that man. I don't care who they are or why they voted as they did. They can not be trusted because they are part of that culture I just alluded to that is based on white supremacy and the belief that their needs come before everyone else's, whether they realize they are racist or misogynist or not. You can't trust someone like that. I didn't say all White people, just the Trumpers. They made their choice and these are the consequences and I don't have to show compassion towards them. I choose to dismiss them and their toxicity.
I hope this was a wake up call to all the Black women who support Feminists. Feminism was created by White women for White women. They excluded Black women from feminism and were racist from the start, including Susan B. Anthony. They did not want any Black people to vote. White women are not your allies, they benefit from white supremacy because they are the daughters, sisters, and wives to the men in the so-called patriarchy. Let them fight their White men on their own while Black women fight our own battles. They don't do anything to help Black women or women of colour yet they expect all of us to fall in line in some sisterly solidarity! Black women fell in line for this election and they bailed! I can think of numerous times Black women have been attacked and White feminists were no where to be seen. It's because they want to see White women on top and don't want to share the pedestal with you! I remember hearing all those Black women bashers talk about White women being innocent victims during slavery because they were oppressed and helpless against the White man. Bull! They liked it because they didn't have to do the work, they benefited off the labor and wealth, and they were held up as better than dark skinned women. They were and are complicit in white supremacy! Feminism is not for you Black girl. Let them do all the feminist work, and if you benefit so be it, but you don't have to thank them for something they didn't want you to have in the first place.
This brings me to my final heavy thoughts about interracial dating. If I was living in the US I would feel very wary about dating White men, and darker skinned men would be a more attractive option for me. If I were you I would never date someone who is a Trump supporter. Just forget that lot because they are forever tainted. The thing that scares me to the core is that many men secretly adore Trump for his misogyny and racism but they kept their voting plans secret! I did not see the full extent of what was happening when I first discovered the Red Pill, PUA, and Men's rights movements years ago, but they have been secretly radicalizing White men into misogynist racists! On their forums they worship Trump as an alpha male because he is a rich White man with a model wife who is much younger and attractive than him. They like Eastern European women because they do not act like liberated American feminist women. They love that he only values women for their looks and gropes them without permission because that is what they endorse and want every man to do! He is their idol! Here are some articles discussing this: Article 1, Article 2, Article 3, Article 4.
These forums instructed members to lie to everyone about liking Trump to avoid suspicion and then vote for him! Read about the hidden agenda HERE (MUST READ). No one realized that these men were being radicalized. There are so many of these forums on the Internet that any angry, sexually frustrated, feminist-hating White male could have been exposed to their teachings. It's because of this that you have to be so careful right now! The next White guy you meet could secretly frequent one of these sites, using pick up artist techniques just to get you in bed and throw you away. They may act nice but do subtle things like negging (giving you ambiguous insults so that you feel insecure and then try to please them to make them like you, e.g., "I don't usually like Black girls but you are the exception", or "I like your hair, is it real?"). Read up about these movements if you dare because it seems like Trump was way more appealing to White men than we could have ever imagined. If you hate Trump then make sure you don't associate with men who like him or act like him. Here are some tips for defending yourself from PUAs. In the past I thought PUAs were just awkward guys who wanted some help so that they could socialize better with women. But that innocence has been radicalized. Remember Elliot Roger? He was part of this manosphere and some applauded his mass shooting.
In all due seriousness, I am scared for all of you in the US. I heard a horror story about a Black girl at the gas station being accosted by a group of White men. One had a gun and said he would have killed her had there not been so many people around! Please be aware of your surroundings and now be wary of groups of White men. I am serious, they are acting out like crazy and I don't want any of you hurt. Please be careful! Fortunately you can buy pepper spray on Amazon here
for less than $10, just get one that is safe especially if there will be children who can find it. Apparently, since Trump was elected POC have been buying up guns. This is so unbelievably sad. 😟Related Articles:
My Problem with The White Feminist Reaction to the Presidential Election
Young Women Around the Globe React to Trump's Shock Win
White Women Helped Elect Donald Trump
Why Did College-Educated White Women Vote for Trump?
White women voted for Trump in 2016 because they still believe white men are their saviors
The quiet racism behind the white female Trump voter
I am shocked by this post,but I do appreciate your honesty. Many BW who advocate IR have trivialized Trump's election and are still encouraging BW to go full speed ahead with IR dating,because WM are so much better and secretly adore BW.
ReplyDeleteI am not suggesting that BW stop dating IR, but please don't be deceived by the popular BWIR bloggers who portray IR dating as paradise and all WM as perfect.Most BW dating IR are not dating the best WM and most of them are actually dating down, being chosen by WM men with less education and income.
The number of WW who voted for Trump should make BW aware of this:WW are not interested in having BW in their families through marriage to their sons and brothers. WW know their WM have been sleeping around for hundreds of years. They have accepted this. WW know where light skin black people come from. But don't believe for one second that WW are gong to sit back and let BW take their men.
I have always felt that the pool of quality WM who are willing to love and marry a BW is tiny and Trump's election shows this. White men love whiteness and they love WW. As a group, they are not interested in marrying BW, being legitimate fathers to brown or mixed children, and passing their resources and wealth on to BW and mixed race children. Many WM say they don't want mixed children because they want their children to look like them. They want to see themselves in their children. Unlike BM who want their children to look less black.
As men, WM are open to enjoying sex with just about any woman who is available, but sexual interest means nothing. And too many BW who date IR mistake WM's sexual curiosity for appreciation of black beauty. Many BW even use the rape of BW by WM during slavery as evidence that WM love BW. I am embarrassed by the number of BW who loved "12 years a slave" because of the white slave master's sexual relationship with his black female slave. Funny how BWIR advocates never use BM's rape and sexual assault of BW and girls as evidence that BM love BW. In fact, BW are encouraged to escape the "rape and pillage" BM of "blackistan".
The problem is many BW in IRR are married to or dating Trump supporters. No BW knows whom her white husband or boyfriend voted for. The sad thing is this: if race relations worsen in the US, most WM with BW and/or mixed children will choose themselves and their race over their black wife and mixed kids. They have always done that. Many BW who are married to WM think they are safe by virtue of their marriage to WM. That kind of arrogant thinking is frequently expressed on IR forums.
BW in IR need to be on the alert and prepared to leave their IR relationships if the need arises. So be prepared financially. Make sure you have some money/assets in your name only, so that if you have to start over, you are not destitute.
"It's because they want to see White women on top and don't want to share the pedestal with you!"
WW will always be at the top of the WM's beauty pedestal. And that is perfectly natural. There is nothing wrong with WM preferring the beauty of women who look like them. The problem for BW is that BM don't put black beauty(dark skin, negroid features) on a pedestal, so BW are looking to non-black men for validation of their beauty.
There is no race of men that will place BW on a pedestal above their own women. So BW should not expect to "share" a pedestal with any non-black women.
Well stated. This whole post is eloquently written. It is true that White men place White women on the pedestal of beauty like other races of men do with their own women. And it is also true that Black men don't place us on a pedestal of beauty. What I want to address is how many IR forums leave out how White men created many o the conditions in the Black Community that they are complaining about. I believe that these women in these BWE/IR spaces don't touch on these issues due to the fact that they will have to admit White men's role in Black women's denigration in society. And these women don't want to do that. It is a form of cognitive dissonance and I believe that they are selling Black women a fantasy that can't be conceived in reality. Such belief and prevalence of such mindsets are one of the reasons why I no longer adhere to BWE thinking. Interracial dating and marriage to White American men isn't the solution to the problems Black women face in society; we is actually the cause of them.
DeleteHello Ladies I just wanted to add another perspective,for myself personally I find that I am happier when I keep, whites and non-blacks at a distance. What I mean is that I only involve myself with them, if there is some benefit to me. and only involve myself for how long the benefit is. Now I do not hate any race of people and for many years, in the past I dated interracially, but I began to realize that most whites and non-blacks did not really have a true caring for me. I decided that rather than trying to have a genuine friendship with persons who really don't care about me, it is best for me to have only certain types of business relationships with them and that's all my interaction with them will be. I find it so tiring of all the racism hurled at BP, especially BW, so for me keeping other groups at a distance, I can be friendly to them but not being their friend, has made it easier for me to begin to take care, love and preserve myself. In addition I am also truly beginning to see that I am deserving of everything good, including wealth and good health.
ReplyDeleteI had a busy couple of weeks and didn't get to respond to these comments. I just want to say that although I am afraid of the way things are going in the US and I stated these fears, I am not implying that all White people are racists and support Trump and his ilk. I know and have heard the comments from White people who can't stand what happened.
ReplyDeleteWhat I am trying to say is that it will be natural for any one group to prefer their own group. So if you choose to date or befriend someone from an outside group be careful. You must also be careful with many Black people too because in reality, most Black folks are hurt by other Black folks. So when it comes to anything related to non-Black people asking you for favors, get favors from them first and then repay them in kind. Don't be their mule thinking that if you go out of your way for them then they will reciprocate. Let them make the first sacrifice before you reciprocate because BW are taken advantage of too often.
This blog is not BWE or an interracial promotion blog. I am just open to interracial dating and don't think that BW have to limit themselves to BM. There are BW who have been treated horribly by BM so they are not some amazing catch compared to other men. BM have their issues and so do non-Black men.
I just want to reiterate, this was not a hate post, it was about my fears having witnessed that there is much more racism than I thought. It was a shock to a lot of people. It is really hard to understand how Barack Obama could have gotten more votes than any US president in history (including many White people) and then many of those same people voted for Trump. White people are responsible for fixing this mess. I agree with what was said above, even if you don't like most White people, you will probably need to get along with them if you want a good life so being friendly if they are will likely help you in the long run. But as someone said above, befriend them if you benefit from it and don't sacrifice to much or be a mule for them because they will often take and not return.
Also, in my opinion or if I were you, I would not be involved with any type of feminist organization. Feminist groups are not working to uplift BW or any WOC, their goal is to uplift WW. Save your time for something else that benefits you. They go on and on about how they don't earn as much as WM but BW don't even earn as much as WW yet they don't do anything to even things out for women. They also want to be leaders and included in things, but they only focus on these roles for WW. So if I were you I would reject feminists, their readings, and their causes (I could write a post about their ideas I would reject) and watch out for WM in large groups or who have that stereotypical racist look because they are acting out right now. Stay safe ladies.
ReplyDeleteDear Elegance I can only talk for me, but I never viewed this article as racist in any way. The truth was the truth, many whites and some non-blacks and very few blacks of either sex voted for Trump. In my personal opinion, I did not view what you wrote as racist. My only curiosity is in the last response you stated something along the lines of many of those same WP who voted for Trump, previously voted for Obama. ,This is just my personal opinion,I am very unsure if most whites who voted for Trump had previously voted for Obama. Maybe some did, but I don't know about most.
ReplyDeleteAlso you mentioned in your response about us BW, that involving ourselves with feminist may not be a gain for us. I totally agree, also I would also advise BW to stay away from Womanists also, which to me is just feminist with Dark faces,
I personally think it benefits BW to stay away from most organizations, and concentrate on themselves and if they are single mothers, to concentrate on themselves and their children, if they are married to concentrate on improving themselves and their family.Rather than involving ourselves in things and people who don't care about us anyways.
I do like your articles on self improvement and beautification for BW, because we need it. and also I like beauty, elegance and self improvement and I am doing it for myself and not for anyone else, . I personally gave myself permission to love myself for once in my life, and it feels great. Hopefully it will become second nature to me.
Just want to say that you are right and I see nothing racist in your post. I also agree that IR bloggers at times paint a picture of white men that is way too rosy.
ReplyDeleteDear Elegance,I think a lot of people around the world were shocked that Trump was elected. I'm also not a US citizen, so the coverage was slightly different. Here in Germany, we had a wait and see attitude, because their Electoral College system doesn't always follow the popular vote. What iwas most interesting was how many people were against Clinton. A lot of people voted not for Trump, but against Clinton. Other people who had voted for Obama switched and voted for Trump because they felt he hadn't done enough for them. And as outsiders we don't see that. And believe it or not, a lot of people were "protesting" how ugly the campaigns got, by voting for Mickey Mouse or otherwise invalidating their ballot/throwing away their vote or staying home. So a lot of people who could have voted, didn't. And then claim to be shocked at the outcome.
ReplyDeleteThe only positive so far is that the election has rejuvenated people's civic feeling, the media has to up their reporting game, and the comedy has lots of cannon fodder.
I don't know if it is worth being terrified of white people in the US. Just do you. Nothing good comes out of living in fear.
If you want to understand the type of people who supported Trump, I can recommend the book "Deer Hunting with Jesus" by Joe Bageant. I read it a while back and it starts to explain some of that mentality that many republicans and Trumpers may have.
On my first post, I was merely emotional and expressing my feelings. Now, I believe that since I am over the shock and rage of the news of Donald Trump's election win, I will try my best to express how I feel about the state of America and how it will impact interracial relationships between White American men and Black American women. No matter how controversial it is, I believe that it is timely and important to know what we are up against.
ReplyDeleteAmerica is in decline. America has been in decline since the 1980s when Ronald Reagan implemented his Reaganomics economic policy and deregulated corporate owned businesses. The 2008 recession was pretty much a blow to the average American's way of life. Though the economy was recovering, many Americans were still not satisfied. The election of a racist, sexist, classist and xenophobic businessman, Donald Trump is a symptom of the problem. The problems in the country are corporate greed, lack of bipartisanship in Washington D.C., the growing divide between the rich and the poor on an economic front, growing racial and class division, and the destruction of the infrastructure of the country. Many Americans especially White Americans were greatly affected by the 2008 recession. Though the economy was doing better under Obama, many Americans were still dealing with the aftershock of the recession. Many still felt that the economy didn't grow or recover fast enough due to them living on low wage jobs or not being able to find work. In fact, a recent survey showed that 76% of Americans lived pay check to pay check. (http://www.thesimpledollar.com/instant-gratification-why-76-of-americans-live-paycheck-to-paycheck-and-how-you-can-beat-that-cycle-with-twelve-simple-strategies/)
Then, Donald Trump came along and decided to run for presidency. His rants against Muslims, Mexicans and African Americans appealed to the racist and angry core of White America. His speeches against the elite and promising to return manufactoring jobs also won over many White Americans especially blue collar working White Americans. He also promised to undo any of former president Obama's legacy and raged against globalism and political correctness. So much that so many of them went out and voted for Donald Trump in droves. Even so much that the majority of White American women voted for Trump regardless of his apparent sexism.
What does his election have to do with the interracial relationships and marriages between White American men and Black American women?
There has been a small increase of White American men/Black American women relationships lately. Slowly, I am seeing more of them open up to the idea of dating outside of their race, which I think is a good idea. I believe that many Black women will have to consider interracial dating and marriage to find love and happiness. But my major problem I have with these interracial dating advocates is that they paint a rosy picture of interracial dating and marriage that isn't quite reality.
Personally, I am not against interracial marriage, but I don't believe it is the solution to what we face in society. I believe the solution is to love one self and try to help each other navigate the world around them.
Hello I have not been on this site for a while. Some very profound comments I have been reading. Coco sista, I agree too many interracial dating advocates paint a rosy picture of swirling. I am an ex-swirler and I can tell you,I truly believe that many BW with WM are disappointed, but they will never admit it, because they don't want to be seen as a fool and they don't have anything for themselves, so many will take and accept anything they can get,this is very sad but very true (Do not let anyone tell you different). I had swirled exclusively for many years and in theVERY VERY rare case you will find love and happiness with WM. Many Asian WOMEN are with white men for a perceived financial gain, most Asian Women are not with WM for love and happiness. Reality is many WM do not have as much $$$$$$$ as society would like you to think.
ReplyDeleteWe BW are in a unique situation, Why would any BW go to a WM for love and happiness? based on the history and still current conditions between Blacks and Whites. I am against IR dating/marriage for myself, other BW who are into IR for themselves I see nothing wrong with that, but never again will go down that alley. I like what you said Coca sista about loving ones self, I think that is a good start for most BW . I personally realized that when I stopped swirling and began to love myself, I became honest with myself for once in my life and realized that swirling was never right for me. I am so glad that even at my age I truly began to find self love.
WORDS OF WISDON BLACK WOMEN
bLACK WOMEN DO NOT WAIT FOR THE CAVALRY, THE CAVALRY AIN'T COMING FOR US. (RESCUE YOURSELF)
BW DO NOT GO TO PROTESTS, LET WHITE PEOPLE FIGHT EACH OTHER. STAY OUT OF THEIR BUSINESS(CHARLOTTEVILLE)
(CHARLOTTEVILLE)
CEDI
Interracial marriage is not going to save us as BW,I personally can attest to that. Taking care of yourself and truly loving yourself is the only way to go. The other side is not greener, been there done that ain't going back
ReplyDeleteCedi