Saturday, June 23, 2012

25 Woman Habits

Part 2Part 3Part 4, Part 5.
This is an interesting set of videos. I agree with many of the items on the list and there is actually some good advice. I think a very important thing (basically the purpose of this blog) is to conduct oneself as a lady deserving the utmost respect. I'm not sure if the vlogger comes across that way in terms of her speech and dress but that is a separate issue from the list itself. What do you think? Do you think the vlogger is an EBW?

Actually, if you take a look at her BLOG you can see that she isn't quite there. It feels kind of mean to critique her demeanor and appearance but she is the one giving women a list of behaviour habits. According to her blog she is offering courses about how to become the ultimate woman too (including charm and etiquette so this seems to be a marketing technique) but her style of dress is definitely not for me. The way the messenger looks and acts has an affect on the credibility of the message.

Maybe I'm too picky but I would take the advice of a woman in business attire (even casual business attire) or a pretty dress (not too revealing) more seriously.  Do you think it would be difficult for her to attain that look/demeanor? Do you think it would improve her life or would it alienate her from those she wants to interact with? Maybe she just wants to relate to a wide variety of women and so that becoming like her does not seem unattainable. But she has that "sister-girl" thing going with the large hand gestures, finger wagging, almost neck-wagging, and a way of speaking that is not soft and relaxed (compare her to Melissa Harris-Perry of MSNBC and you will see what I'm talking about. A motivational speaker can be animated but there is something different in terms of respectability). Really you only know that she is a lady and respectable based on her word not on the way she looks and I think it's better that people see you and automatically think you have positive traits without having to prove yourself first.

I'm also very picky about who I take advice from. Based on her website most of her advice comes from growing up with a model for a mother, Muslim grandparents, and her make-up artist and life-coach training. I'm not fully behind the life coaching thing because it seems to me it's like a quickie way to become a therapist/psychologist without the in depth training. But it does give advice on particular life choices that therapists may not deal with (i.e., therapists deal with more serious problems). So I suppose life coaches have their place and you don't need someone with a graduate degree to show you how to dress or cross your legs but when it comes to serious life choices I wouldn't trust them.

I think I'm also wary about it because any old person off the street who has made horrible choices with their life can take a life coaching course and then start giving out advice, maybe after they see their own life coach. Other fields, like therapists (not all so beware), social workers, and psychologists have regulatory bodies and avenues for complaints but I don't know if the same exists for life coaches. Furthermore, I don't know if there is scientific evidence to support their claims or if they are trained to understand the science if it is available. From what I have heard a lot of what they say is based on their life experience or anecdotes that may be very unique and in no way generalizable to most people. So like everything else, take the advice with a grain of salt :)


  1. Didn't know where to put this. Have u heard of the book "fascinating womanhood" by Helen Andelin? Thoght it may interest u with a blog like this. P.s. I mis your Youtube vids:)

  2. Hi Ananymous :) I have heard a little bit about the book but I haven't read it. One blogger commented that it was about being manipulative but I'll have to judge for myself :)

  3. Miss Elegance:

    The vlogger, at this point in time, is NOT an elegant woman. I, too, don't mean to criticize her efforts but since she is publicizing herself "women's habit" guru I will offer my opinion.

    Ms. Cooper-Sykes' attire is not feminine-oriented. She is just wearing a spaghetti strap tank top style dress or a tank top with pants/skirt. She is showing wayyyy too much cleavage to be perceived as a professional person. A jacket or pretty cardigan would have changed the entire look of her clothing. Her mannerisms and speech definitely project an urban/sistergirl demeanor. I would suggest she take elocution lessons, dance lessons, poise training sessions, and attend charm school in order to learn how to project a more refined image.

    I was shocked by the images she showed of herself on her website. Her attire was wayyyy too tight and the picture of herself in the cut-out long sleeve bodysuit was not something that a cultured woman selling "female guidance" would wear. She should not have taken photographs of herself in that type of garment because it harms her brand.

    Although she means well, Ms. Cooper-Sykes is currently not qualified to offer anyone advice on femininity. She does not project an image to emulate that makes me think that the guidance she would convey would enable women to compete in an arena outside the African-American community, let alone the larger Western society and the global stage. Unfortunately, to most people, she is perceived as a woman from the "hood."

    I support her efforts and don't mean to be be hurtful. I think she means well but she definitely has some growing to do before she's ready to offer advice to others. I would suggest she look at the way military officers' wives conduct themselves (especially at the lieutanant colonel and above ranks) as an easy access way to find women to emulate. These women are always hosting and attending coffees, teas, and balls and they practie the social graces on a daily basis.

    I've tried to provide suggestions along with my critique as a method that all women can use to improve themselves. I hope the information that I've provided is helpful.

    Lady Arabella Victoria

  4. Hi Lady Arabella Victoria :)

    You took the words right out of my mouth. The description of what she teaches actually sounds good. But she seems to focus a lot on being sexy.

    She also had a video posted on her "About" page that shows the way she conducts herself. She has experience in sales so she may be a good motivational speaker and able to convince people to do things but she doesn't appear to have "real training" to be a lady. By real training I mean someone who went to a finishing school or was trained for beauty pageants or something. Someone like that would be more credible to me. Someone who says they have trained business people, celebrities, and high class people would also be credible.

    But for sure there has to be some women who have no training in manners, etiquette, comportment, or femininity at all so they would actually benefit from the training. I would only pay for someone who trains business people (I probably couldn't afford the one's for royalty lol).

    Plus if you noticed her book is self-published. That's fine and everything but that means that we don't know the quality of her book (maybe it was rejected by publishers because of it's poor quality and lack or credibility). I haven't heard of her being endorsed anywhere. So that's another reason why I wouldn't pay for her services. But good for her for being an entrepreneur and trying to provide something that is greatly needed by some women. Some women could benefit from what she is doing for sure.