I wish it wasn't so, but I don't like
Insecure, Issa Rae's new HBO show. The show has gotten a lot of positive attention so I don't think this post will matter much (I am not trying to sabotage). I watched two episodes and I was so disappointed! I don't usually watch comedies because I prefer hour-long shows especially sci-fi, legal, medical, or superhero shows. But I took a leap to watch Insecure because a long time ago, I watched maybe 2 seasons of Awkward Black Girl, and I didn't hate it (from what I remember). I was also happy to see a Black woman succeed and do a show starring Black women. I am a big fan of Shonda Rhimes' shows, I watch Becoming Mary Jane, and I seek out shows with diversity and Black women. I really wanted to like the show and support Issa Rae, but other than having Black women, there was nothing I liked about the show.
First of all, in the episodes I watched, all of the music was rap music! The rap music was full of vulgar lyrics, curse words, and the n-word so for someone who hates that type of music, this was a huge strike. There was no variety in music at all. Even when it was a woman "singing" it was rap music. Every Black person doesn't like rap music! It wasn't even something tame, it sounded hard as hell!
Second, all the characters swore so much! I have watched many HBO shows, but I don't know, is it normal to have so much swearing? The women called each other b**** repeatedly! All the Black people constantly referred to Black men and even the women with the n-word, and I HATE the n-word! Is this how people really talk? Of course they also kept saying f*** and s*** too. I am not a hypocrite so if I condemn rap music for this sort of language I have to use the same standard for this show. The language is filthy for no good reason. Do they swear like this on Girls? I watched Sex and the City (because it was on all the time) and they definitely did not swear this much.
Third, the show did nothing to make Black women look appealing at all! We complain so much about how we are represented in the media by non-Black people. This lead to calls for Black women to represent themselves. Well Issa Rae was given so much support for creating a televised show and this is how she chose to represent Black women! Issa Rae's character appears pretty androgynous, hard, she raps in a vulgar way, she curses, she was cold to her boyfriend, and she was texting another guy. Her behaviour and appearance would only be attractive (as a friend or romantic partner) to a select group who are used to that. Compared to Black women in the mainstream (e.g., Gray's Anatomy, Scandal, Sleepy Hollow, etc.) she was hard as nails! Very unfeminine, not classy, not sweet, not nice, and not a woman to admire. Her friend was only slightly better in terms of feminine appearance but her speech was as bad as Issa's. Just think about the MANY shows with single women and how they compare to the women on Insecure--it's obvious that other shows make single women look appealing and feminine (e.g., GIRLFRIENDS!!! Friends, Gilmore Girls, New Girl, Gossip Girl, 90210, etc.).
If I wanted the world to appreciate the qualities of Black women and see us as just as good as other women, Insecure is the last thing they should watch. Even on the Walking Dead the Black women characters are more desirable and admirable! If I don't support negative images of Black women then I can not support this show because it makes Black women look awful. I can barely relate to the characters, I would not want to be friends with them, and we would not get along (my friends and I don't call each other b****). I'm not even mad about showing the best friend as a stereotypical single Black woman because single women finding love is a part of many dramas. But the friend came off as so hostile and angry, not sympathetic. I did not love the women on Sex and the City, but they had some class. Being Mary Jane is so much better at representing a single Black woman who is also desirable.
Fourth, I just didn't find it that funny. I thought Awkward Black Girl was funny, but I didn't find much humor in this show. There were no "jokes". I also liked that Awkward Black Girl had more multiculturalism but this show is just focused on Black women with Black men. I don't know if this changes later on or if they have a non-Black friend, but I just have a preference for multicultural shows. This one has an Asian woman, but the best friend is envious of her so it's not the same. I don't know, maybe it gets better but I was so disappointed. This reminds me of when I tried to listen to rap music while ignoring the n-word, cursing, violence, and misogyny because of the beat...what's the point of consuming something for entertainment it if I dislike so many parts of it? I won't consume or promote something that makes Black women look bad just because it supports someone Black. I just can't get behind something that makes Black women look bad. When I think about how HARSH some bloggers have been about how Black women were portrayed on other shows (e.g., Sleepy Hollow, Scandal, Person of Interest) I just can't excuse this because it's by a Black woman. So for any readers who want to see a show with feminine and desirable Black women that make us look good, skip Insecure and try
Being Mary Jane instead.
To be fair, I'll post some reviews below so you can make your own choice (take note of the race of the authors and think about the types of roles that the mainstream celebrates as being "real")
:
Is Insecure Preying on Black Women’s Insecurities?
Insecure Is Quietly Revolutionary
Issa Rae's 'Insecure' Isn't Niche—It's Just Never Been Done Before
Issa Rae talks ‘Insecure,’ stereotypes, and ‘bitch’ as a term of endearment
10 Reasons Not to Watch HBO’s Insecure by Issa Rae
Insecure lets black women watch ourselves on TV – at last
‘TV is full of black women fighting’: Issa Rae on kicking stereotypes into touch with her HBO comedy ‘Insecure’
moisture and shampoo with Head and Shoulders 2in1
.
for my conditioner because it's cheap and it works!
, and apple cider vinegar
(the apple cider vinegar preserves the mixture so that it lasts for weeks and it also conditions the hair.
conditioner.
for thick curly hair to detangle section. This one is better than the regular versions in my opinion because the bristles don't bend.
. Most gels do not mix with conditioners or leave in conditioners so you will be left with horrible clumps in your hair if you do not remove the conditioner. The only conditioners I have found that mix with gel are Cholesterol conditioners and curl activator lotions like S-Curl.
to the section and shingle the hair by smoothing down tiny sections of hair to define coils (see video below about how to add gel and shingle hair. Optional: add some extra virgin olive oil
to hair before applying gel to each section. This has made my hair so soft and the gel does not dry as hard.). This takes about 45 minutes. Currently I am liking Eco Styler Krystal
because it defines my curls all week, despite re-moisturizing, and I don't have to re-apply the gel at all! With the Eco Styler Argon Oil
I had to reapply it mid week, and Eco Styler Olive Oil
had too strong a hold. I will post a video reviewing each gel below because you may have to try samples before you find the right one. This brand is really inexpensive and I can usually get a big 5 pound bucket for $11 at beauty supply stores in Canada.
for 40 minutes. I do the loose ponytail at the back, and then move it to the top half way through drying time. I do this because it helps my hair to dry all in the same direction rather than being scrunched and bent because of the cap.
, and place in the pineapple bun again. I have started applying a bit of apricot kernal oil
after moisturizing and it makes my hair so soft!
