tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post3627081631013580233..comments2024-01-29T01:52:28.701-05:00Comments on The New Elegant Black Woman: My Thoughts on the Election of TrumpElegancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06086459974594918860noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-84593798875888741352017-09-09T10:57:53.163-04:002017-09-09T10:57:53.163-04:00Interracial marriage is not going to save us as BW...Interracial marriage is not going to save us as BW,I personally can attest to that. Taking care of yourself and truly loving yourself is the only way to go. The other side is not greener, been there done that ain't going back<br /><br />CediAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-28390425836649930652017-09-06T00:33:30.834-04:002017-09-06T00:33:30.834-04:00Hello I have not been on this site for a while. S...Hello I have not been on this site for a while. Some very profound comments I have been reading. Coco sista, I agree too many interracial dating advocates paint a rosy picture of swirling. I am an ex-swirler and I can tell you,I truly believe that many BW with WM are disappointed, but they will never admit it, because they don't want to be seen as a fool and they don't have anything for themselves, so many will take and accept anything they can get,this is very sad but very true (Do not let anyone tell you different). I had swirled exclusively for many years and in theVERY VERY rare case you will find love and happiness with WM. Many Asian WOMEN are with white men for a perceived financial gain, most Asian Women are not with WM for love and happiness. Reality is many WM do not have as much $$$$$$$ as society would like you to think.<br /><br />We BW are in a unique situation, Why would any BW go to a WM for love and happiness? based on the history and still current conditions between Blacks and Whites. I am against IR dating/marriage for myself, other BW who are into IR for themselves I see nothing wrong with that, but never again will go down that alley. I like what you said Coca sista about loving ones self, I think that is a good start for most BW . I personally realized that when I stopped swirling and began to love myself, I became honest with myself for once in my life and realized that swirling was never right for me. I am so glad that even at my age I truly began to find self love.<br /><br />WORDS OF WISDON BLACK WOMEN<br /><br />bLACK WOMEN DO NOT WAIT FOR THE CAVALRY, THE CAVALRY AIN'T COMING FOR US. (RESCUE YOURSELF)<br /><br />BW DO NOT GO TO PROTESTS, LET WHITE PEOPLE FIGHT EACH OTHER. STAY OUT OF THEIR BUSINESS(CHARLOTTEVILLE)<br />(CHARLOTTEVILLE)<br /><br /><br /><br />CEDI<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-18558648393724586172017-07-12T18:08:56.546-04:002017-07-12T18:08:56.546-04:00On my first post, I was merely emotional and expre...On my first post, I was merely emotional and expressing my feelings. Now, I believe that since I am over the shock and rage of the news of Donald Trump's election win, I will try my best to express how I feel about the state of America and how it will impact interracial relationships between White American men and Black American women. No matter how controversial it is, I believe that it is timely and important to know what we are up against. <br /><br />America is in decline. America has been in decline since the 1980s when Ronald Reagan implemented his Reaganomics economic policy and deregulated corporate owned businesses. The 2008 recession was pretty much a blow to the average American's way of life. Though the economy was recovering, many Americans were still not satisfied. The election of a racist, sexist, classist and xenophobic businessman, Donald Trump is a symptom of the problem. The problems in the country are corporate greed, lack of bipartisanship in Washington D.C., the growing divide between the rich and the poor on an economic front, growing racial and class division, and the destruction of the infrastructure of the country. Many Americans especially White Americans were greatly affected by the 2008 recession. Though the economy was doing better under Obama, many Americans were still dealing with the aftershock of the recession. Many still felt that the economy didn't grow or recover fast enough due to them living on low wage jobs or not being able to find work. In fact, a recent survey showed that 76% of Americans lived pay check to pay check. (http://www.thesimpledollar.com/instant-gratification-why-76-of-americans-live-paycheck-to-paycheck-and-how-you-can-beat-that-cycle-with-twelve-simple-strategies/)<br /><br />Then, Donald Trump came along and decided to run for presidency. His rants against Muslims, Mexicans and African Americans appealed to the racist and angry core of White America. His speeches against the elite and promising to return manufactoring jobs also won over many White Americans especially blue collar working White Americans. He also promised to undo any of former president Obama's legacy and raged against globalism and political correctness. So much that so many of them went out and voted for Donald Trump in droves. Even so much that the majority of White American women voted for Trump regardless of his apparent sexism. <br /><br />What does his election have to do with the interracial relationships and marriages between White American men and Black American women? <br /><br />There has been a small increase of White American men/Black American women relationships lately. Slowly, I am seeing more of them open up to the idea of dating outside of their race, which I think is a good idea. I believe that many Black women will have to consider interracial dating and marriage to find love and happiness. But my major problem I have with these interracial dating advocates is that they paint a rosy picture of interracial dating and marriage that isn't quite reality. <br /><br />Personally, I am not against interracial marriage, but I don't believe it is the solution to what we face in society. I believe the solution is to love one self and try to help each other navigate the world around them.Coco Sistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12458919026799559863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-85152055780990175122017-07-12T16:11:14.959-04:002017-07-12T16:11:14.959-04:00Well stated. This whole post is eloquently written...Well stated. This whole post is eloquently written. It is true that White men place White women on the pedestal of beauty like other races of men do with their own women. And it is also true that Black men don't place us on a pedestal of beauty. What I want to address is how many IR forums leave out how White men created many o the conditions in the Black Community that they are complaining about. I believe that these women in these BWE/IR spaces don't touch on these issues due to the fact that they will have to admit White men's role in Black women's denigration in society. And these women don't want to do that. It is a form of cognitive dissonance and I believe that they are selling Black women a fantasy that can't be conceived in reality. Such belief and prevalence of such mindsets are one of the reasons why I no longer adhere to BWE thinking. Interracial dating and marriage to White American men isn't the solution to the problems Black women face in society; we is actually the cause of them. Coco Sistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12458919026799559863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-65235136542083984502017-03-30T15:36:27.421-04:002017-03-30T15:36:27.421-04:00Dear Elegance,I think a lot of people around the w...Dear Elegance,I think a lot of people around the world were shocked that Trump was elected. I'm also not a US citizen, so the coverage was slightly different. Here in Germany, we had a wait and see attitude, because their Electoral College system doesn't always follow the popular vote. What iwas most interesting was how many people were against Clinton. A lot of people voted not for Trump, but against Clinton. Other people who had voted for Obama switched and voted for Trump because they felt he hadn't done enough for them. And as outsiders we don't see that. And believe it or not, a lot of people were "protesting" how ugly the campaigns got, by voting for Mickey Mouse or otherwise invalidating their ballot/throwing away their vote or staying home. So a lot of people who could have voted, didn't. And then claim to be shocked at the outcome.<br />The only positive so far is that the election has rejuvenated people's civic feeling, the media has to up their reporting game, and the comedy has lots of cannon fodder.<br /><br />I don't know if it is worth being terrified of white people in the US. Just do you. Nothing good comes out of living in fear.<br /><br />If you want to understand the type of people who supported Trump, I can recommend the book "Deer Hunting with Jesus" by Joe Bageant. I read it a while back and it starts to explain some of that mentality that many republicans and Trumpers may have.Oekmamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14615274321133763191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-47196107161906479812016-12-24T09:47:37.921-05:002016-12-24T09:47:37.921-05:00Just want to say that you are right and I see noth...Just want to say that you are right and I see nothing racist in your post. I also agree that IR bloggers at times paint a picture of white men that is way too rosy.LorMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07182120408651424886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-53815614883186690762016-12-10T01:54:28.212-05:002016-12-10T01:54:28.212-05:00Dear Elegance I can only talk for me, but I never ...Dear Elegance I can only talk for me, but I never viewed this article as racist in any way. The truth was the truth, many whites and some non-blacks and very few blacks of either sex voted for Trump. In my personal opinion, I did not view what you wrote as racist. My only curiosity is in the last response you stated something along the lines of many of those same WP who voted for Trump, previously voted for Obama. ,This is just my personal opinion,I am very unsure if most whites who voted for Trump had previously voted for Obama. Maybe some did, but I don't know about most.<br /><br />Also you mentioned in your response about us BW, that involving ourselves with feminist may not be a gain for us. I totally agree, also I would also advise BW to stay away from Womanists also, which to me is just feminist with Dark faces,<br /><br />I personally think it benefits BW to stay away from most organizations, and concentrate on themselves and if they are single mothers, to concentrate on themselves and their children, if they are married to concentrate on improving themselves and their family.Rather than involving ourselves in things and people who don't care about us anyways. <br /><br />I do like your articles on self improvement and beautification for BW, because we need it. and also I like beauty, elegance and self improvement and I am doing it for myself and not for anyone else, . I personally gave myself permission to love myself for once in my life, and it feels great. Hopefully it will become second nature to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-63793078971749727182016-12-09T03:25:30.257-05:002016-12-09T03:25:30.257-05:00Also, in my opinion or if I were you, I would not ...Also, in my opinion or if I were you, I would not be involved with any type of feminist organization. Feminist groups are not working to uplift BW or any WOC, their goal is to uplift WW. Save your time for something else that benefits you. They go on and on about how they don't earn as much as WM but BW don't even earn as much as WW yet they don't do anything to even things out for women. They also want to be leaders and included in things, but they only focus on these roles for WW. So if I were you I would reject feminists, their readings, and their causes (I could write a post about their ideas I would reject) and watch out for WM in large groups or who have that stereotypical racist look because they are acting out right now. Stay safe ladies.Goldenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09635386804709742950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-42471075310794923872016-12-09T03:19:17.671-05:002016-12-09T03:19:17.671-05:00I had a busy couple of weeks and didn't get to...I had a busy couple of weeks and didn't get to respond to these comments. I just want to say that although I am afraid of the way things are going in the US and I stated these fears, I am not implying that all White people are racists and support Trump and his ilk. I know and have heard the comments from White people who can't stand what happened. <br /><br />What I am trying to say is that it will be natural for any one group to prefer their own group. So if you choose to date or befriend someone from an outside group be careful. You must also be careful with many Black people too because in reality, most Black folks are hurt by other Black folks. So when it comes to anything related to non-Black people asking you for favors, get favors from them first and then repay them in kind. Don't be their mule thinking that if you go out of your way for them then they will reciprocate. Let them make the first sacrifice before you reciprocate because BW are taken advantage of too often. <br /><br />This blog is not BWE or an interracial promotion blog. I am just open to interracial dating and don't think that BW have to limit themselves to BM. There are BW who have been treated horribly by BM so they are not some amazing catch compared to other men. BM have their issues and so do non-Black men. <br /><br />I just want to reiterate, this was not a hate post, it was about my fears having witnessed that there is much more racism than I thought. It was a shock to a lot of people. It is really hard to understand how Barack Obama could have gotten more votes than any US president in history (including many White people) and then many of those same people voted for Trump. White people are responsible for fixing this mess. I agree with what was said above, even if you don't like most White people, you will probably need to get along with them if you want a good life so being friendly if they are will likely help you in the long run. But as someone said above, befriend them if you benefit from it and don't sacrifice to much or be a mule for them because they will often take and not return. Goldenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09635386804709742950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-36416206436099952942016-12-05T21:32:29.363-05:002016-12-05T21:32:29.363-05:00Hello Ladies I just wanted to add another perspect...Hello Ladies I just wanted to add another perspective,for myself personally I find that I am happier when I keep, whites and non-blacks at a distance. What I mean is that I only involve myself with them, if there is some benefit to me. and only involve myself for how long the benefit is. Now I do not hate any race of people and for many years, in the past I dated interracially, but I began to realize that most whites and non-blacks did not really have a true caring for me. I decided that rather than trying to have a genuine friendship with persons who really don't care about me, it is best for me to have only certain types of business relationships with them and that's all my interaction with them will be. I find it so tiring of all the racism hurled at BP, especially BW, so for me keeping other groups at a distance, I can be friendly to them but not being their friend, has made it easier for me to begin to take care, love and preserve myself. In addition I am also truly beginning to see that I am deserving of everything good, including wealth and good health. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-91501702950573808372016-11-29T08:04:44.664-05:002016-11-29T08:04:44.664-05:00I am shocked by this post,but I do appreciate your...I am shocked by this post,but I do appreciate your honesty. Many BW who advocate IR have trivialized Trump's election and are still encouraging BW to go full speed ahead with IR dating,because WM are so much better and secretly adore BW. <br /><br />I am not suggesting that BW stop dating IR, but please don't be deceived by the popular BWIR bloggers who portray IR dating as paradise and all WM as perfect.Most BW dating IR are not dating the best WM and most of them are actually dating down, being chosen by WM men with less education and income.<br /><br />The number of WW who voted for Trump should make BW aware of this:WW are not interested in having BW in their families through marriage to their sons and brothers. WW know their WM have been sleeping around for hundreds of years. They have accepted this. WW know where light skin black people come from. But don't believe for one second that WW are gong to sit back and let BW take their men. <br /> <br />I have always felt that the pool of quality WM who are willing to love and marry a BW is tiny and Trump's election shows this. White men love whiteness and they love WW. As a group, they are not interested in marrying BW, being legitimate fathers to brown or mixed children, and passing their resources and wealth on to BW and mixed race children. Many WM say they don't want mixed children because they want their children to look like them. They want to see themselves in their children. Unlike BM who want their children to look less black.<br /><br />As men, WM are open to enjoying sex with just about any woman who is available, but sexual interest means nothing. And too many BW who date IR mistake WM's sexual curiosity for appreciation of black beauty. Many BW even use the rape of BW by WM during slavery as evidence that WM love BW. I am embarrassed by the number of BW who loved "12 years a slave" because of the white slave master's sexual relationship with his black female slave. Funny how BWIR advocates never use BM's rape and sexual assault of BW and girls as evidence that BM love BW. In fact, BW are encouraged to escape the "rape and pillage" BM of "blackistan".<br /><br />The problem is many BW in IRR are married to or dating Trump supporters. No BW knows whom her white husband or boyfriend voted for. The sad thing is this: if race relations worsen in the US, most WM with BW and/or mixed children will choose themselves and their race over their black wife and mixed kids. They have always done that. Many BW who are married to WM think they are safe by virtue of their marriage to WM. That kind of arrogant thinking is frequently expressed on IR forums. <br /><br />BW in IR need to be on the alert and prepared to leave their IR relationships if the need arises. So be prepared financially. Make sure you have some money/assets in your name only, so that if you have to start over, you are not destitute. <br /><br />"It's because they want to see White women on top and don't want to share the pedestal with you!"<br />WW will always be at the top of the WM's beauty pedestal. And that is perfectly natural. There is nothing wrong with WM preferring the beauty of women who look like them. The problem for BW is that BM don't put black beauty(dark skin, negroid features) on a pedestal, so BW are looking to non-black men for validation of their beauty. <br /><br />There is no race of men that will place BW on a pedestal above their own women. So BW should not expect to "share" a pedestal with any non-black women.<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com