tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post6859686507072386021..comments2024-01-29T01:52:28.701-05:00Comments on The New Elegant Black Woman: Are Black Women Scary?Elegancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06086459974594918860noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-43816526082300347372015-03-26T18:15:17.644-04:002015-03-26T18:15:17.644-04:00I look mean and hostile on the outside because I&#...I look mean and hostile on the outside because I'm weak and fragile on the inside. I am sensitive, introverted, and easily frightened. I have no other way to defend myself other than a perpetual scowl and to feign arrogance. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-42115386848535415512013-04-15T16:19:28.118-04:002013-04-15T16:19:28.118-04:00One culprit that makes little black girls from esp...One culprit that makes little black girls from especially black working-class-turned underclass areas to leave all their super-girly memories and notions behind is because if a little black girl is from a large enough family and especially if she's the eldest child then the 'future mule academy' training starts rather early sadly! If she has a single parent mother raising her or a grandmother then this situation is almost definite. She becomes the crutch for the mother: useful, capable, reliable and handy for doing the chores and practically raising the siblings. Some of the girls have to sacrifice their wants and needs first most of the time and this 'mule academy' initiation can really cut into the childhood for some of the little black girls and really people cannot be too shocked when some of them get pregnant at a young age because they may have grown up looking around themselves and thinking that very young and single motherhood 'must be what real life's all about' for them.<br /><br />I remember before Rev. Lisa Vasquez's Black Women Blow The Trumpet think tank website went private 'by invitation only' she made a blog post about how she threw a 12 year old's birthday party for a black woman who was either far up in her 30s or her 40s because that particular black woman, her friend, never had her 12th birthday party and always wistfully longed for one. Rev. Lisa did say that this lady was very touched by that gesture. Re. Lisa said that the lady had two working class and hard working parents in the home but they had her muling away and doing everything in the house and had her taking care of the younger siblings while they were at work from a very early age.<br /><br />Rev. Lisa also said that this lady's parents told her around the time that she was turning 12 not to expect any parties to be held nor any big gifts because they were too busy working and they had no money for it anyway. OK both of those parents are poor and cash-strapped and they're busy slaving away and saving their pennies or putting it all straight away to their rent or mortgage but I remember what it was like to live in the US. What would it have cost them to get their daughter to invite all her friends out to a park where they can grab a free table that may even have a barbecue grill right by it while one of them grabs a box of Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines cake mix and frosting to make a cake? And when you're inviting people, especially kids, to a birthday party THEY all of those guests usually bring all the gifts? Hello!<br /><br />No one said that you have to be Rockefellers to be parents, let alone decent parents, but do you HAVE to stunt your daughter's childhood at every turn? Can you let a little bit of the sunshine into her life? You don't need to hit the lottery in order to do that.<br /><br />akhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01821918420194865921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-82164898216397269942013-04-15T16:18:15.784-04:002013-04-15T16:18:15.784-04:00Yes this hurts our brand. This whole scary, loud, ...Yes this hurts our brand. This whole scary, loud, bitchy harpy/ ballbreaker image has painted black women and even black teenage girls into the tiniest corner for a long time now and it of course even rubs off on the black women and girls who never act like that sadly. But even though I have met some black women and teen girls with the wild snake-haired harpy behavior and tempers whom I didn't like at all, even I feel sorry for alot of them. I feel bad even for the ones who act that way whom I have never met. <br /><br />Because some of those black women come from the all too typical 'mean streets' in the enclaves of the black constructs where every situation was 'fight or flight' for them. They had to yell, scream, curse and put up their dukes against each other and against the men and boys in their area because as the decades rolled by their homes became more and more fatherless and as usual no black people want to call the cops on any black men and boys, not even on the most predatory ones.<br /><br />So no more girly, friendly, charming, pink, fluffy and frilly girlhood for those girls anymore after the age of about 8 (?), after a while it was about being as tough as nails and 'outmanning' the men because no one looked to protect black women and girls ever. Sadly old habits die hard for the ones who leave those streets who are not pregnant and who get accepted to universities as they feel like they have to 'outman' everybody that they come across and then it becomes a case of 'You can take the girl out of the ghetto...'.<br /><br />I have seen in the US and UK some gorgeous little black girls as giggly, bubbly, perky, happy and energetic with such beautiful spirits as wonderful and as worthy as any of the little white, Asian or Latina girls who act just like them and I wonder what terrible, life-changing moment has been happening in these little black girls' lives to cause such a divergence that made them leave their frilly pink and purple worlds so readily. It can't only be about preteen and teenage angst because some girls are naturally very girly and some will be the more tomboyish and sporty-ish ones.<br /><br />akhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01821918420194865921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-7486049933008670172013-04-15T16:09:27.404-04:002013-04-15T16:09:27.404-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.akhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01821918420194865921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-80212034562037699292013-04-15T16:06:53.693-04:002013-04-15T16:06:53.693-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.akhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01821918420194865921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-15876835909989046632013-04-14T15:21:19.581-04:002013-04-14T15:21:19.581-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.akhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01821918420194865921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-14252518522567927602013-02-16T19:21:49.384-05:002013-02-16T19:21:49.384-05:00Elegance,
Yes, some black women take the visages t...Elegance,<br />Yes, some black women take the visages they need to survive Blackistan with them to work and into their dealings with other people. Not a good look. Yes, certain people would like you to internalize the idea that you are less-than and should be happy with the less-tahn dregs that may surround you if you choose to remain in all black social circles. Your worthiness has NOTHING to do with all these other women. In my experience a man who is interested in you will do whatever he needs to do to find out of you are receptive. Having dated almost exclusively IR before I was married I never had any problems with men from all ethnic backgrounds inquiring about my availability for dating. And I worked with quite a few mean mugging bw. That is not the type of energy I projected then or now so people do not react to me in that way. Just" do you " and I guarantee you the rest will sort itself out. You are most definitely good enough, smart enough and more than qualified for everything you choose to do. You author this excellent, thoughtful , intelligent blog on top of everything else you do in your life. Place yourself in target rich environments and vet, vet, vet to your heart's content. You will be successful. Own your confidence young lady because you deserve it. You alone cannot collectively " save " these women. Does it hurt our brand? Yes. But by the same token it also makes you stand out much more because you don't fit the stereotype. I am most definitely NOT a strong black woman and I will not let anyone foist all that baggage on me.sisterlocgirlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-77726675317443453752013-02-13T21:00:07.962-05:002013-02-13T21:00:07.962-05:00Sad,but i can see how some black women can come
Of...Sad,but i can see how some black women can come<br />Off as "scary".Alot has to do with self-esteem and self-hatred issues in my opinion.If you are constantly bombarded with negative images targeted at those of your ethnic background ,not to mention personal issues you may be facing. It can<br />Make you into a very "angry" individual . I think many bw are unaware how they may come off because it's glorified as being a"strong black women".Being loud,aggressive,etc is there way of demanding respect from those around them because by societal standards they know they are at the bottom.<br />We really need to work on that definition of a"strong<br />black women".In my opinion being strong is to take the backseat at times,so to speak.knowing exactly when to voice our opinions,discipline etc and execute in a well manner.It is so easy for anyone to blurt on anything when angry,but it takes a strong well rounded person to think before they talk.ms. loyalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07627948023459599957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-73693481409375665162013-02-13T10:34:53.374-05:002013-02-13T10:34:53.374-05:00You've made very good points, Elegance! While...You've made very good points, Elegance! While some of the fear may be based on media, we can't discount those men who have actually had negative encounters with some bw. <br /><br />Mary Ellen<br />The Working Home KeeperMary Ellenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08816881493977758025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-788247236906826630.post-58828107978597226112013-02-12T16:03:40.318-05:002013-02-12T16:03:40.318-05:00I just read the post as well as your reply. My fir...I just read the post as well as your reply. My first reaction was 'oh, do these men feel as if their masculinity is under attack?'<br />Then I started to wonder if this reaction is the result of a negative campaign against BW. It's been round for years, sneaking into media with Shanaynay (remember Martin Lawrence?) first as the butt of the joke then reinforced and buttressed slowly but surely in various ways. Especially so with the advent of Youtube, etc.<br /><br />As I've heard, Nature abhors a vacuum. So if someone doesn't know any differently, then any old stereotype recently heard or half-heard from media will flow in to fill that space. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com